Splitting up - what can we do

khampson

Hi, I have split up from my girlfriend, we have mortgage and we owe £94,000 on it but its worth £120,000, I have give her the option to buy me out, however it looks like she wont be able to afford it, however I can afford it, but I dont think she will agree to me having it, if it came to it would I be able to fight this so she has to give me the option to buy it or will we be made to sell it.

Regards Keith

koexelek

You have to both agree.

It makes total sense for you to buy her out, but if she digs in her heels, you can't force her.

I'd probably threaten to stop paying the mortgage if she won't co-operate... as that would destroy both of your credit ratings...

DON'T actually do that though, only threaten to do it........as it really would destroy you both.:o

Voyager2002

Why fight over it? There are plenty of other things to disagree about, and once lawyers get involved you can easily spend more in fees than the amount at stake. Keep the house in joint ownership for now, but draw up a written agreement on how ownership will be transferred once one or the other of you decide to sell their stake, and on how the house would eventually be sold.

Kez100

I also think falling out is no good for either of you. Often in these cases one party has a grievance against another (i.e the other one has gone off with someone else) and they cannot see that the two issues mustn't be mixed as it will harm themselves as much as the other person.

khampson

I am being resonable about it, I am giving her first chance to buy it and if it goes through no problem, but we did everything to the house and it would be a shame to lose it, I asked her if would she let me buy it she said she did not know, I could be a pain and just say to her i want to sell it!

Regards Keith

Kez100

You could be a pain and say you want it sold but, guess what, she could be a pain and refuse to sell. It's really best not trying to arrogant about it (either of you) but talk as friends and work out a solution.

How soon is this after breaking up? Is her not knowing more because she hasn't had any time to think or due to her being obstropolous.

You both need each other on the same side at the moment (whatever side that is).

milesoneill

Sorry to hear you split up. As you don't mention the reasons for the split this advice may not be appropriate without the background info. Either way....

I went through something similar a couple of years ago and managed to buy my wife's portion of the equity. But no matter how it's done, one person will be left without a house and this adds hassle to an already stressful time.

From personal experience its easy and quick to buy out a partners equity, but if she is reluctant to let you do this then the only other sensible option (given that she cannot buy you out) is to put the house on the market. In the current climate this could be a slow and drawn-out process, depending on where you live. If you reckon the house could sell quickly then this could well be the best way out for you both.

It may not seem fair to her, but her best option is to take your offer and use it to buy another property while the prices are low. It's quick, easy and relatively painless.

Try and keep things as amicable as possible and only involve the solicitors to conduct the legal paperwork, it'll be easier on both of you if you avoid a long drawn-out split.
Hope this has helped and good luck,
Miles.

khampson

Cheers for that guys, just a back ground in to what happend, we were together for 15 years but only lived together for 4 years but even thou we love each other its was just like a bestfriends relationship which I accept its over no problem, if the payments were to stay the same she could afford to buy me out but only by adding years to the mortgage, currently we have (26 years left) and she is 30 years old.

Another concern of mine is getting back into the property market, I know that in the current climate people are not lending money to buy houses, I am currently back at my mum and dads which is not perfect but I have a bed.

If I missed one payment of the mortgage would this ruin our credit rating??? or do they look at other things or is it just one missed payment???

Is there a general rule how much a mortgage company would lend me if I went to buy a property on my own??

Regards Keith

getmore4less

khampson wrote: »

Hi, I have split up from my girlfriend, we have mortgage and we owe £94,000 on it but its worth £120,000, I have give her the option to buy me out, however it looks like she wont be able to afford it, however I can afford it, but I dont think she will agree to me having it, if it came to it would I be able to fight this so she has to give me the option to buy it or will we be made to sell it.

Regards Keith

If it goes to market then you can just buy it anyway she cannot stop you getting the house if she can't afford it.

It may actualy be cheaper to go down the sell route if the buyout price that you would agree on would be high.

You wait till you get the first offer and decide if you want to pay more or not.

Do you actualy want this place?

There is plenty of lending out there just need a decent deposit for the good rates.

lal1234

But she could stop him buying it? if house is in joint names then she has to agree to sell the house to him??

Robert_Sterling_3

koexelek wrote: »

DON'T actually do that though, only threaten to do it........as it really would destroy you both.:o

Here is a Mortgage Adviser advising you to lie. :eek: