House Sharing??

becky_rtw

Hey All!

So I'm very used to living on my own or with a partner, but current situation in London sees me sharing with a couple in a 2 bed flat...there are a few issues so I wanted some advice on whether they bother me because I'm used to living alone and what (if anything) I should do about tackling them...

The flat is lovely by the way, expensive but zone 1 and 1.5 miles from work, plus if I move I have to find desposit again - so I'd rather not have to

The problems are:
1. They leave their stuff in the front room - like loads of it...I came back from a weeks holiday to find their chest of drawers in there as well. Their room is really small, but they already have use of the two cupboards in the hallway (one of which is full of clothes)...
2. They leave their bits and pieces of paper (like bank stuff and bills) all over the front room table (the only table in the house) - I tidied them into a pile and recycled all the envelopes this weekend - but got up this morning to find the pile had been rummaged through and left in a mess again...
3. They wash up, but they never clean - like wipe down the cooker after using it. Every time they use the tray for cooking in the oven they just put it back in without washing it...
4. They spend all evening sitting the front room - which is fine, but I want to use it too sometimes

It feels like at the moment that I'm their lodger (I'm not by the way we both rent off the landlord)...but I dont know how to broach it with them - they are both really nice and friendly, but really busy and I guess they just have lower standards than I do. I dont really want to give up my room - I have 10ft ceilings, access to a gated garden, fantastic location etc etc

Any ideas welcome about what to say without sounding like I'm moaning/being a clean freak...:D

What do others with shared houses do? I know a rota might be a good idea for cleaning, but I dont think they would stick to it - they just dont see it as messy/untidy whereas I do...

JoeA81

The thing is, in house sharing (as in life) everyone has different standards and different ideas of what is "acceptable". One of the pitfalls of renting with others is you may encounter people with very different views from your own on tidyness, hygiene and general cleanliness. It is not that these people are doing what they do to upset you - its that they genuinely dont see anything wrong with their way of living.

Having said that, they should be able to understand that you cannot live with their mess in a communal area. Try and have a friendly chat with them and broach the subject. Hopefully if they are reasonable people they will have no problem with keeping the mess and muddle to a minimum outside of their bedroom!

However you may just have to accept that they will never wash and clean things to the standards that you would expect. Try and not let it affect you, and enjoy all the good things about living with them.

becky_rtw

Thanks Joe,

I agree its tough - the sad fact is I could now rent a studio in Knightsbridge for less than I am paying for my room (due to rent falls around here) and it does annoy me that as part of the cost I have to put up with their mess

I think the major problem is they are clutter bunnies and I'm not - I get rid of stuff ( recycle/give away) whereas they just keep it.

I'll try to speak to them tonight. I just want to keep it friendly and dont want to fall out with them...maybe I'm just being too soft...

Debt_Free_Chick

becky_rtw wrote: »

I think the major problem is they are clutter bunnies and I'm not - I get rid of stuff ( recycle/give away) whereas they just keep it.

This is so difficult. Like you, I'm not a clutter person, but I do tend not to move stuff on as quickly as I could do.

They may see you as being anally tidy I don't think there are any "right" standards here, once you get beyond basic cleanliness, so it's a question of finding a balance that works for you all. This is likely to mean a compromise so they are never going to be up to your standards and you are never going to live as they do - but you have to aim for something in the middle.

Alexei

Having been in a similar situation myself, I'd be tempted to find somewhere else to rent.

The problem is that while you're living with a couple, you're always going to be in the minority. If they both have, erm, "different" standards of cleanliness to yours, they'll reinforce each other's behaviour and you'll be constantly fighting against it. In my case at least it was a big house so I had my own space to some extent - in a small London flat I think I'd have gone mad!

becky_rtw

I've pretty much come to that conclusion this evening actually...sigh having got home to find their stuff migrating across the front room again and them hogging it all evening I've decided I need to go back to studio living again...although I'll have to wait a while as a I save up some more deposit...

thanks for all your help guys though - its made me realise why even though they arent necessarily in the wrong its not just me making it up either

neas

put up with it, you are living in a shared house, so unfortunately have to accept different standards from other people.

A living room in a shared house, is not a 'reserve' room. Everyone should be free to enter it whenver they want, without problem. You should just watch tv with them or crack open a beer, if they want privacy they can go to bedroom or you can.

As for stuff in room, sounds like they are busy and cleaning is on 2nd agenda for them.... most likely if you do it they will continue this arrangement. I used to live with peeps like this, only thing you can do is try to seperate your cooking utensils from theres and put up with the rest of the grim... while ensuring you still get 'relatively' hygenic food. I.e put all your stuff in your room or in a lockable cupboard.. if they ask explain that you are busy and don't have time to wash their stuff as well as your own.