Funeral Flowers

belfastgirl23

People grieve in different ways and what seems essential to one person seems totally unimportant to the next. I guess all we can do is do what feels right to us. It's odd, on a logical level I agree with pattycake but when we were bereaved lately there was comfort in looking at the flowers and seeing who all had sent them. We were lucky with weather though and the flowers did last a few weeks which was amazing since it was over christmas.

I'm very sorry for the losses of everyone on this thread, hopefully we can all see that there is no right and wrong in this and that everyone has a right to grieve in the way most suited to them.

pattycake

elainew wrote: »

How dare you !! You dont know me. I buried my baby. A tiny little boy in a white coffin . As previously said-its a personal decision so dont you dare tell me i havent experienced bereavement.

elainew, I am very sorry to have offended you. I was clearly reading more into your comments and you have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your child. Perhaps you could extend the same courtesy to me on the very recent death of my mother.

We will have to agree to differ on our opinions regarding flowers at a funeral. I found your comments to be harsh and somewhat unfeeling but did not attack you in the same way you have chosen to do to me.

elainew

pattycake wrote: »

elainew, I am very sorry to have offended you. I was clearly reading more into your comments and you have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your child. Perhaps you could extend the same courtesy to me on the very recent death of my mother.

We will have to agree to differ on our opinions regarding flowers at a funeral. I found your comments to be harsh and somewhat unfeeling but did not attack you in the same way you have chosen to do to me.

I think you need to learn to read--not once did i attack you personally as you did me!

pattycake

My reading abilities are just fine thank you very much. I have apologised for offending you. You are obviously not big enough to do the same to me. You chose to extract a small portion of my post. Did you not read the rest? You say I know nothing about you. True. You on the other hand, do know something about me. You know that my mother died just five short weeks ago but you think it is perfectly in order to insult and offend me.

elainew

pattycake wrote: »

You on the other hand, do know something about me. You know that my mother died just five short weeks ago but you think it is perfectly in order to insult and offend me.

I havent got a clue your mother died 5 weeks ago-i havent got a clue who you are.
I'm not posting now

Poppy9

Please calm down. Pattycake, I too that your it was unnecessary to include

you have clearly not experienced a bereavement of someone close to you

in your post but you have apologised for it.

Elaine please accept the apology as I'm sure it was just a hasty post.

Flowers at funerals are a personal issue. I have made it quite clear to my family that I disapprove of flowers and don't want any as I too think they are a waste of money. I take this view while living so that no one wastes their money buying me flowers as I get no pleasure from cut flowers in the home. I like to see my flowers growing in the garden. This is my personal choice.

Both my parents have died and both times it was open to anyone to send flowers. My father wished it when my mother passed and it was his right to choose that. I'm sure he knew I didn't agree as it was something I have mentioned since my young teens as I've always loathed waste. I was the original light putter offer!! Then I was seen as tight, but now it's trendy!:T

Sometimes you do have to compromise to keep people happy. I compromised by sharing a wreath with my brother and sisters and the grandchildren (all 8 of them) joined together with a teddybear wreath. We repeated this for my father and whenever there is a family breavement we send flowers from us 4 not from our now individual families. It works for us.

When my FIL died my MIL went way over the top with flowers and spent £250 makinng up a full coffin covering. My OH and his sister were going to have a joint wreath but MIL insisted on seperate ones plus she wanted a teddy from our DD (the only grandchild on my OH side) so we ended up spending £100 on flowers. She used total emotional blackmail on OH and sister to make them buy these flowers. I kept out of it as it was my OH family.

Recently my uncle died and again it was open for flowers but with my elderly aunt's agreement I asked if the undertaker could take back the flowers after the cremation to the church where the Requium Mass had taken place so they could be used for weekend services. I just need to tell the sister incharge of floral decorations so she didn't buy any flowers that week.

OP condolences on your loss. I second finding a local to the funeral, independent florist if you want to send a wreath.

hilstep2000

I agree with Pattycake. My Mamma died last January. She loved flowers. They were always in the house and her room. We said, flowers if you want, or otherwise donations to Motor Neurone. That way people had a choice.
My sister and I had "Mamma" made up my Dad had a Heart, the grandchildren had the Welsh Flag. Yes, it cost us £300, but I KNOW that my Mamma could see them, and would have loved them.
It is a personal decision, and one that you have to make when the time comes.