Advice needed please - going to tell my parents I think

Daisy26

Hello everyone,

I am a long-term lurker on these boards as I entered into a DMP with the CCCS at the end of 2005. At that time I had £21,000 of debt, after paying as much as i could afford now owe £12,600. Noone knows the extent of my debts, I am too ashamed (some of my friends earn a lot more than me, and some own their own homes) and I know my parents would be so disappointed in me but the final straw came today with a letter of default from capital one. I thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel but the thought I now have to wait another 6 years before even trying to get a mortgage or thinking about having children (i'm 28) is killing me. I should be preparing for a job interview this afternoon but instead i am in floods of tears writing this. I think I will have to tell my parents but don't know how as I just can't take this on my own anymore. I feel i should be enjoying my life at 28 but sometimes my debt is all i can think about.
Any advice would be gratefully received
Daisy x

MichH

Hello Daisy26,

I have been exactly where you are, a few years ago, and can tell you it is hard work but you will get there.

Your parents - if you dont feel you can say it in words why not write it all in a letter, then sit there whilst they read it. There is no easy way to do it, but at least in a letter you can pour it all out (might make you feel a little better) and you wont miss anything out. Once they've read the letter and digested it you can have a chat about it.

No matter what, they are your parents and they love you. They may even have some good ideas to help you get out of debt.

Good luck!

HHH_2

I think you should telephone CCCS and check this out. well done on your dmp so far you've come a long way. things change, who know what will happen in the future? there are so many people going bankrupt, on IVAs and DMPS that it may be possible for you to get a mortgage in the future. I' m sure there must be a way out of this. in the meantime think about the here and now, you can do something about that by going to your interview and getting thet job! good luck

natsplatnat

Hi Daisy!!

Firstly big hugs to you!!!

There will be some really knowledgeable people along shortly (I'm sure) who will be able to help you!

Is the interview for a better paid job or a change of scenery?

Generally, I would say that parents are more disappointed to find that you are struggling on your own rather than you are struggling! Even if they cannot help financially, they may be able to help with things like batch cooking and making you the odd meal. It would be a weight off your shoulders and some good ideas may appear just by being able to talk about it more!

I'll be back later to see who else has been by!

Nats x

Lindseyf584

Hi Daisy,

I hope you are feeling a bit better now, I have been in your position I am 27 and my parents were the biggest support throughout my problems, it was hard telling them the position I was in but they were great once they knew and it was good to have someone to talk to about it and just to help me reason with myself on things.

I really hope you tell your parents as they can support you emotionally and I doubt very much that they will be judgemental about it they would prefer to know and help you through.

Good luck with your interview and I really hope you feel better about things, try not to let it get you down too much xxx

SuzySu

Hi Daisy - As a child (of 40 odd) I gave my parents some news that I knew they would disapprove of. It has taken them a while but they have finally accepted it. They never stopped loving me, however hard dealing with it was. As a parent I would feel very disappointed if any of my children could not come to me with their worries and anxieties - no matter how big or small. Please do share this with your parents if you feel you can. They are there for you. Good luck.

Tixy

Hi Daisy

I really think it helps to have someone to talk about it (as well as the lovely people on this board). I told my Mom the extent of my debts and she has been supportive and whilst I want to sort them on my own (I'm a similar age to you), she does sometimes buy me bits of groceries and things, particularly at the month end. Having her to talk to is useful and she suggested ways to cut down my expenses as she knows my life best. We told my Dad a watered down version of my debts but thats just the way my family works!

Good luck with your interview.

determinedtodothis

You have done sooo well i'm in the same boat just a year older - I am always frightened about telling my folks anything but they always surprise me and are sooo supportive

Toni_Broke

Hi Daisy

Just like to add that as a mum ,i would much rather my kids tell me their worries than to make themselves ill.

It may be a shock but us mums are made of stong stuff.

Good luck

Tonixx

Red_Fraggle_3

At 30 - I turned up to my parents with DD in tow - told them about the debt and that I left ex - yes they were disappointed but 6 years on it's turned round it took a while with mum - I can always usually talk dad round. They just wanted me to be honest funny they noticed stuff that i had tried so hard to hide. good luck with this and the job x

RAS

Hi

if this is Cap 1 there is a decent chance that the CCa does not exist. have you requested it?