House ownership with elderly parent

Strapped

If you are so concerned with "getting a share of the house" maybe you should be the one to care for your father in his dotage? Anyway, if he, down the line, needs nursing care beyond what you or your brother could provide, the house may need to be sold anyway to pay for it so you may be fighting over nothing!

tattoed_bum

i would also say it would be unfair of you to expect half of the proceeds of the property if something happens to your father ,
your brother is going to have to upheave his family across the country ,incur the cost of moving may have to incur the cost of any repairs to your fathers property whilst living there and has to care for your father .
look for a new job and then there may be the effects on your fathers pension/benifits that will have to be recouped again probably by your brother ,
even just down to the simple things like not being able to watch which tv channel they wish to watch because your father may not like it.
whilst you sit in your home with no inconvenience to yourself at all and expect half .
i personally think you are being greedy and selfish

Mayday

Gangstabird wrote: »

Mayday, you are getting sucked up into that orrible situation called 'here come the vultures' I think.

Rejoice that you have a lovely Dad and be happy that he is happy even if he leaves it to the cats home. You cannot miss what you never had and if your brother has thoughts of doing something along these lines, he will not enjoy his ill gotten spends anyway.

Seriously forget about your Dads house. It's not and never was yours.;)

He isn't leaving it to the Cat's Home; he's leaving it to my brother & I in equal share.

This idea of one sibling buying out the other is my father's, based on one of us moving back to East Anglia as per my original post.

Until we get legal advice, nothing can be done, but personally, I don't see it coming off for very many different reasons which I won't go into here.

But I am grateful for all comments - you've aired a lot of my thoughts and given me new ones to consider.

p.s. I'm not greedy and selfish - far from it

Errata

Best wishes, as I wrote - it's not an easy situation for any of you.

cool_pinkie

Hey,

I think before doing anything I would seek legal advice like you have said youself!

The reason I thought of is if ur Dad ever has to go into a care home they will look at his finances and count his home as capital. Not sure how long it is, but if it appears house has been signed over to stop paying care home fees then council could look at selling the house. But that is of course worse case scenario!

Suzy_M

As you are all so recently bereaved I think it is far too early to make this major life changing decision. Your father needs time to adjust to being on his own and fully consider all the implications of what he is asking you and your brother to do.

Given the age of your father I wouldn't think either you are spring chickens so how long will it be before you are in your father's position? What he is asking you to do is give up your current life to care for him for what remains of his. This means a complete change of lifestyle and more importantly possibly the loss of your own support network when you are older.

Perhaps you should all defer from making this major decision until your grieving is over and you have all adjusted to your loss.

Robert_Sterling_3

Perhaps it is your father who should move near to either you or your brother.

PasturesNew

I think you should look into selling his house and getting him a lovely, suitable property within 200 yards of either of you.

You also have to think: what if you uprooted your entire family, changed your life, went through the stress of the move ... and he died 2 weeks later. Whoever chose to be with him would be out on a limb.

It's far more practical if he moves.

Mayday

Suzy_M wrote: »

Perhaps you should all defer from making this major decision until your grieving is over and you have all adjusted to your loss.

Thankyou Suzy for your thoughts - it certainly makes sense to me.

Dad is certainly coping well on his own at the moment- in fact, I think he's quite enjoying it. He's already arranged to have his sister over for lunch - once he's got the hang of his new table-top cooker! (She's 92)

I'm seeing my father again in about 2 weeks for his 85th birthday so that I can take him and my aunt out to lunch

Again, thanks to all who have expressed their views - it is much appreciated.


Ann.