Mortgage payment difficulty advice

silvercar

People in your area of work with your skill set are working longer, better or harder than you. If you want to maintain your lifestyle then that is what you need to do.

incogni2

People in my area of work are also working shorter, worse and easier than me (well, unless you are saying this simply because I am not currently working).

Obviously there is a correlation between these efforts and income but there isn’t a one to one relationship. As in many forms of employment, the longest, best, hardest working is not (as a matter of default) the best paid.

Of course, there are people doing all of these three things more than me. I should also note that not all three are choices either. Sure I could work longer (when I am working) and harder but even if I state, “right, I’ll work a 23 hour day”, there always be someone else who says “okay, I’ll do the full 24 then”. One of the problems to a programmer is that when you have a wife or kids or whatever that involves a life outside computing, those whose lives are entirely dedicated to it (and there are many) always surge ahead. You hope that your ‘broader life experience’ will make up for those deficiencies but it doesn’t really – the lack of 24/7 commitment always drags you down. In my experience, those working longest, better, hardest are games programmers in their 20s. Almost always, they burn out (like the best Mathematicians), their best work behind them. In their 30s (like me) they move into the supposedly cushy world of contracting (say, web development).

I could get better but, unfortunately, it is largely these periods without work that enable me to do so (it takes time and diligent study which are not commensurate with 24/7 employment). I know, by acquaintance only, a number of people who are considered to be among the best in their field, in the world. They manage to continue learn within the framework of their work. However, because their work is research, it is entirely focused on activity which will improve their abilities (or the demonstration of them). I wish I could do that but I’m just not good enough (at anything, frankly). I still have to take my chances when I can though.

incogni2

Spartacus_Mills wrote: »

This garbage is all very uninteresting

I'm glad you find it so.

but what are you doing to cut your expenditure to ensure you live within your means ?

I'm still thinking about it, there have been many interesting and helpful posts. But I can assure you that none of them were from you.

Are you going to get out and get a job stacking shelves, working in a bar etc etc ?

No, I'm not.

Are you going to continue to sit at home and surf the net with your 2GB a day ?

No, I'm going to continue to sit at home and work using my non-capped Internet connection for no immediate financial reward. Then, when I find work, I'll sit at home and work using my non-capped Internet connection for immediate financial reward. Simple really.

What are you going to do with your situation, let your wife keep you ?

I'm going to 'let' my wife do what she wants. If she wants to 'keep' me, then she will. Are you some kind of sexist or misogynist or something? I thought that we'd moved past the days when the higher wage earner 'kept' the lower. Not you clearly.

I really think you are a WUM or someone who wants to hear what you want to hear rather than the truth.

Sure, I'm a WUM and you're a TROLL (essential ingredients for any forum thread). Like pretty much everyone, I'd rather hear what I want to hear (to the extent that I require the validation of anyone else). But the way you express it is not even approaching helpful. I can handle the truth - hell, I can even handle your perversion of it - but nothing, not even your crass ignorance and neo-neanderthalism, compels me to agree with or act upon it.

If you lose your home how will you watch your beloved Sky then ?

Well, I expect that I'll go to the pub, to a friend's house, have it installed in whatever rented hovel I end up living in or stand outside the tv shop in the rain, gazing longly through the window on the off chance that one screen might be showing the game.

L8R

silvercar

If you are right and we are all wrong, why are you in this mess?

beecher

incogni2 can I ask what you are hoping to achieve by posting on this thread? You've received advice which you've dismissed, which is of course your choice. But why keep coming back, and why keep focusing on topics which are nothing to do with saving money? I genuinely don't understand why you would waste time on posting here when you have zero intention of acting on any of the advice you're given.

Spartacus_Mills

beecher wrote: »

incogni2 can I ask what you are hoping to achieve by posting on this thread? You've received advice which you've dismissed, which is of course your choice. But why keep coming back, and why keep focusing on topics which are nothing to do with saving money? I genuinely don't understand why you would waste time on posting here when you have zero intention of acting on any of the advice you're given.

Simply because he is a WUM and a troll. Nothing more, nothing less.

Spartacus_Mills

silvercar wrote: »

If you are right and we are all wrong, why are you in this mess?

Simply because he is living beyond his means and far too lazy to get a job at a lower wage to help plug the gap.

He has had good advice and ignored it because it is not what he wants to hear. He needs to ensure he pays the mortgage, council tax and utilities then his food. Anything else is a bonus.

Spartacus_Mills

incogni2 wrote: »

No, I'm going to continue to sit at home and work using my non-capped Internet connection for no immediate financial reward. Then, when I find work, I'll sit at home and work using my non-capped Internet connection for immediate financial reward. Simple really.

Well good luck with that.

incogni2 wrote: »

I'm going to 'let' my wife do what she wants. If she wants to 'keep' me, then she will. Are you some kind of sexist or misogynist or something? I thought that we'd moved past the days when the higher wage earner 'kept' the lower. Not you clearly.

Lower, you earn nothing my friend. You could try to get a job. Even if you got something paying £6 or £7 an hour you could bring £800 a month in. Enough to plug the gap.

incogni2 wrote: »

Sure, I'm a WUM and you're a TROLL (essential ingredients for any forum thread). Like pretty much everyone, I'd rather hear what I want to hear (to the extent that I require the validation of anyone else). But the way you express it is not even approaching helpful. I can handle the truth - hell, I can even handle your perversion of it - but nothing, not even your crass ignorance and neo-neanderthalism, compels me to agree with or act upon it.

My advice to you was basically stuff like Sky is a luxury not a necessity, Anyone who cannot live without a circa £46 Sky package is an imbecile, and you need to work backwards. Take your wife's take home pay knock off the mortgage which should still leave you in excess of £1,000. Pay your utilities and council tax. Take £100 a week off for food and then cut your cloth according to what you have that is left. After the mortgage your household is bringing home the equivalent of an £18K salary. How do you think people on those salaries cope ? Also try shopping at Lidl or Aldi.

incogni2 wrote: »

Well, I expect that I'll go to the pub, to a friend's house, have it installed in whatever rented hovel I end up living in or stand outside the tv shop in the rain, gazing longly through the window on the off chance that one screen might be showing the game.

L8R

Good luck with that. I am sure they will welcome your continued presence with open arms :beer:

incogni2

silvercar wrote: »

If you are right and we are all wrong, why are you in this mess?

Because I don't think that it is a simple as me being right and you all being wrong, or the other way around.

I consider that there are multiple perspectives on the relationship between risk and reward that I have been trying (though obviously failing) to express. I agree entirely, that from a cautious and risk averse direction, the vast majority of the advice presented must be de facto correct. But I don’t agree that the opinions expressed represent the sum total of all possible accurate counsel. I believe that had I posted elsewhere (and the hint that this forum is concerned primarily with the saving of money is embodied in the URL, no?) that I might have received different yet equally valid responses.

opinions4u

For the want of wishing to be more constructive I can only find limited words.

You are a plonker.

I really regret my lack of control in posting that.