Can i refuse his maintenance

fizzel81

dont want to go into too many details but the ex is being a complete t wat, things hae gotten that bad that tonight ive transfered jans maintenance back to him and will continue to do so

i already have maintenance taken off is so do not receve full amount is, do i have to let them know ive done this?

as it stands id rather have nothing from him if all im going to get is trouble from it, ive in the past had to give him petrol money to come and see his children (and he lives less than 2 hours away)

i cannot talk to my soliciter untill tuesday when i need to arrange to go and see her but would just like some advice on it all, i dont want the extra put back on my is id rather do without (and think i can manage without)

Mips

What is this going to achieve?

He is paying it - you might as well take it.

Oldernotwiser

Won't it be the children who miss out?

tamsin1982

if every nrp thought all they had to do was make things hard for thier ex to get out of paying maintainence then they would,
as far as im aware since the oct changes you dont have to take his money but the £20 a week u do receive of the payments is alot to not be getting, can u really manage without it??

I wouldnt recommend u stop his payments, one day when your working again and your entitled to the whole amount youl really regret it

fizzel81

i know it wont make much sense but it will be easier than the hassel i currantly get, he obviously thinks he needs it more than his children do, he will quite happily demand petrol money for even picking them up to see them

SuziQ

This money is for your children,and however badly behaved you should not let him 'get away with it' by giving it back-it's for the care of your children. If you feel so strongly then put every penny into a savings account and tell him you are doing it-ie I don't want your begrudged money but your children deserve it.It's down to him to find the petrol money to see his kids-if you help then he will just let you,we teach people how to treat us! Once he realises you are sticking to your guns (ie treat him like a child-he is behaving like one after all!) perhaps he'll start acting like a responsible father.

Sorry but I had to get that off my chest-what is wrong with these so-called fathers? Many man would just like the chance to even see their kids!!!

Caz3121

If I read this right you are receiving Income Support so you get to keep part and lose some of your IS.
So you are saying that you would rather take the full amount of IS and nothing from thr father.
Given that the fathers payment reduces the IS you receive I don't see how you can choose to not take it and expect the full amount of IS

jennie09

fizzel81 wrote: »

dont want to go into too many details but the ex is being a complete t wat, things hae gotten that bad that tonight ive transfered jans maintenance back to him and will continue to do so

i already have maintenance taken off is so do not receve full amount is, do i have to let them know ive done this?

as it stands id rather have nothing from him if all im going to get is trouble from it, ive in the past had to give him petrol money to come and see his children (and he lives less than 2 hours away)

i cannot talk to my soliciter untill tuesday when i need to arrange to go and see her but would just like some advice on it all, i dont want the extra put back on my is id rather do without (and think i can manage without)

Why not have the money its yours by rights, as from october 2008 you are allowed to keep upto £20 pw and still recieve your full amount of income support, a lot of people would love to be in this position because a lot of fathers simply refuse to pay and are constantly being chased by the CSA, its for the children, put it into a savings account for when they are older.

fizzel81

Caz3121 wrote: »

If I read this right you are receiving Income Support so you get to keep part and lose some of your IS.
So you are saying that you would rather take the full amount of IS and nothing from thr father.
Given that the fathers payment reduces the IS you receive I don't see how you can choose to not take it and expect the full amount of IS

im not planning on getting anymore is iykwim so wont be telling them he has stopped the maintenance