Children's savings moral dilemma

square_bear

You are a parent with children who have some money put aside for their future by you or by the grandparents, which say, adds up to about £ 5,000.

If your family had problems by being behind on the mortgage or cards to pay etc how bad would it have to get before you use the savings to get yourself out of trouble?

Or would the suggestion of it be a certain no no.

grastgirl

I think this has been asked before, although probably not for such large sums.

If you've tried to make ends meet by other methods and it's not working, then use the money if it will keep you in your house, pay for food, clothing whatever in the short term. Not sure I'd use it to pay off cards unless the payment was late. However, if you won't keep your head above water after it runs out, then don't do it and find another way, bankruptcy etc, because then you will lose their money as well as yours. Also plan to pay it back when you can.

celyn90

Tough call. My feelings with this would be to look at a long term realistic financial plan first as if this money runs out and the situation hasn't changed there won't be the safety net second time round. I would be inclined to look at all other options first.

webitha

if all other avenues have been explored and mnot worked, then yes i would se it,
im sure thre kids would prefer a roof over their heads and food in their bellys than the money in the bank "for later"

LoopyLinz

Again I think I agree with what the other posters have said. If all other avenues have been explored I think it is more important to keep a roof over your childrens heads than them have money in the bank. However if this is only going to be a short term solution I wouldnt do it. Will the problems still be there once this money has gone?

Perhaps popping over to DFW board and posting about your circumstances might help. Pretty knowledable bunch over there who may be able to make some suggestions.

Hope everything works out for you

Linz xoxox

whitewing

I say any money put aside by grandparents or other relatives is an absolute no, no.

If parents have put money aside, I still think it is a no, no. Chances are it'll never be put back.

If things are so bad that you need the children's money, then you need a complete replan of how you think about finances. (I speak kindly from experience as a parent, but also as a daughter).

mrcow

Having this problem myself at the moment (although nowhere near to that extent!).

The children have a few hundred punds that we've put by in savings over the years through birthday money or from times when we were feeling a little more flush.

What I've done is said that any groups or activities that they want to do going forward (eg. beavers, ballet etc) will come out of their own savings. It's what it's there for anyway and certainly makes a difference when you add it all up.

The mortgage on the other hand is the first thing that always gets covered on my budget. If I was in the situation as described above, I'd be going through my SOA again and much more ruthlessly! as dipping into childrens savings accounts is not a viable long term plan.

Pollycat

LoopyLinz wrote: »

Perhaps popping over to DFW board and posting about your circumstances might help. Pretty knowledable bunch over there who may be able to make some suggestions.
Linz xoxox

Great suggestion from Linz, if you are really thinking about doing this (rather than asking a hypothetical question) - check out the DFW board NOW!

Lots of people post their SOA and get great advice about how to reduce their outgoings.
If you could do this, maybe it wouldn't be necessary to use the kid's savings at all, or if your situation is quite bad, it might help you to replace the money quicker.

Good luck.

NAR

Square bear, this money was put aside for the kids future in their grandparents eyes - do you agree? I completely understand that it will help your/family(which they are part of) current debts. Is there a reasonable prospect of it being returned to their savings by the time they are 18? Difficult call, could you consider consulting the grandparents?

Pollycat

Whoops, I forget to say what my view on this was.

My gut feel is that, agreeing with whitewing, this money is for the kids future.

However, if there is a possibility that bailiffs may repossess furniture etc or the childrens home will be repossesed or the parents go bankrupt, then maybe there is an argument for using that money.
If things ARE this bad, this money should not be seen as a 'get out of jail free' card.
Efforts should be made to sort finances out, if this has not already been done.

Over the years, I've given my niece & nephew a fair bit of money, if my sister was in dire straits I'd be OK with her using it on the above understanding.

However, as NAR says, this money (plus the interest it would have accrued) should be there for the children when they reach 18.

starbump

If this is money that has simply been earmarked by the parents as, for example, potential college funds then I think it is still household money that could be reallocated. If it is money given by the grandparents to the kids (and is sitting in the kids' bank accounts) then it belongs to them and cannot be used. The only exception could be if the grandparents gave the money directly to you, the parents, to be spent on/for the kids as it is then up to your conscience. Possibly, you might construe a roof over your heads as a good benefit for the kids but I cannot see how unsecured loans or credit cards could be justified.