Anyone going through this alone??

jellygirl_2

Wanted to start a thread for those, like me, who are facing very difficult debt situations alone and who may be having to go through bankruptcy on their own.

No disrespect to anyone on this forum who is married, has a partner or whatever. I dont want to start a pity party (I hate that expression but couldnt think of anything else) but for me, i dont have a partner or any children (but a beautiful doggy), and sometimes feel extremely lonely for the lack of a partner to help me with decisions. i have a small close family but I cant tell them - not that they are not loving, but more to my shame of my situation.

This forum is wonderful. I have just been wondering if there are people here who are on their own and are struggling to deal with the complex decisions of potential bankruptcy, and the emotional turmoil and that comes with it.

BTW, I am not BR yet, but am looking to early March. Im bricking it and sometimes cant believe Im even anywhere near a situation like this.

Mr_E_3

Hi Jelly,

You are not alone, I'm doing it alone

Thankfully I've some very supportive friends around me that know exactly what I'm doing and the reasons why. I've found that being open and honest with people around me to be invaluable. I've had a lot of support.

This forum is great in terms that you encounter people who are in or have been in the same situation as yourself. When I first encountered the forum, it was like a cloud lifting, some of the people on here are extermely knowledgeable and supportive ... there are others out there....

And a big smile to you ....

Mr E.

jellygirl_2

Yes, agree with you totally Mr E:) The support here is invaluable and most very welcome. I dont really have any close friends who I can confide and really just wanted to open the door for others who are finding it lonely on their own. I guess you have the OR interview coming at some point in the near future - hope it all goes well for you:)

dalip

Hi Jelly. Just wanted to say that bc is a very isolating thing. Even though i had my OH (he never went bc)he never understood a thing i was going through.Not saying that to get sympathy but to point out that you don't have to be alone to be alone:p ,if you get my drift.A good thread idea too.


This forum was and still is an immense(sp) part of my life. The support and friendlyness is second to none.I have met and made some very very good friends who if i had not gone bc i would never of had the good fortune to meet or know. So there are some plus sides to bc:D .Hope you get all you need from this forum,like i did.Dx

Energised

What a nice thred Jelly (I've got some Jelly in the fridge now, hurry up and set!)

It is difficult going through this on your own.

I don't really want to tell any of my friends, not because I'm ashamed or anything. I don't know, I guess I want to keep it to myself and it does get lonely sometimes.

Even when I'm with friends it feels like a lot of this stuff is on my mind and just can't wait to get the next three months out of the way.

Hopefully perhaps we can use this thread as a "We're on our own and trying to figure it all out" thread!

PockettMoney

I'm on my own also. Sure mother wouldn't be too upset about it but she still hasn't totally got over my father's death last year so don't want to add extra stress. My flatmate moved to a new town last year so I'm living alone. I was made unemployed last November so no work colleagues to confide in. And my best friend is currently working in the Middle East, so it's a bit hard to discuss with him. But the CAB staff were helpful, the MSE members seem like a good bunch, so I'm not feeling too isolated. As 9:30am Monday morning approaches my mind may change though...!

Good luck to all the other loners out there!!!

flowergirlgush

im sure you'll all be fine and it will be a relief once monday over with .

you are not alone!!! we are all here for support

I too have pretty much dealt with it alone too, i can see a light now, just the final hurdle then i can proceed to get on with my life again.

good luck :cool2:

Lensman_2

Hi jellygirl.

Good thread

I am on my own here too. But I have told the world (well, friends and family) that I may be bankrupt - although I can't discuss feelings with them. I just say "yeah, fine" even when I am really down. Like dalip said about her OH, I have no hope that they would understand.

This forum is my main support and the experience would be much much worse without it. Thanks all of you for that :A.

Good luck with your situation. Keep us posted. And don't worry about posting when you're really down, I've done it. We are here to help.

Jim

worriedsick_3

I am also on my own coping with this BR and must admit that I have found this site is a great comfort although at times I feel very niave and stupid - like Lensman said I have also told all my friends etc but they never understand how low I feel nor the feelings I am going through which can be very hard on your own - a lot of my friends say I am stupid to worry and just tell me to get as much out of the BR as possible - which is not like me - I suppose some people are hard and cope with anything - I am not like that I worry to much so coming home after a long day at work to an empty house with nobody to share your thoughts or feelings with is very difficult but I cannot thank this forum and the lovely people enough as it does help especially when they understand how you are feeling

startagain_2

Hi jellygirl :wave:

I am on my own too. In some ways I have found it easier to deal with because I haven't had to worry about other peoples feelings or opinions or been influenced in any way.
BR was entirely my decision and whilst it has been quite hard there has always been tremendous support on here.
At this point I would like to say thanks to the people who can read between the lines and send really nice words when they know you could do with them! You know who you are!
I spent some time abroad and put too much of my mind and soul over there even after I was back in the UK and as a result let friendships and contacts in this country disappear. I agree, it can be lonely.
So it really is a fresh start for me in all sorts of ways... I hope 2009 will be the turning point. This is such a good idea for a thread, thanks ...... :T
Best Wishes to you all
SA

jellygirl_2

dalip wrote: »

Hi Jelly. Just wanted to say that bc is a very isolating thing. Even though i had my OH (he never went bc)he never understood a thing i was going through.Not saying that to get sympathy but to point out that you don't have to be alone to be alone:p ,if you get my drift.A good thread idea too.


This forum was and still is an immense(sp) part of my life. The support and friendlyness is second to none.I have met and made some very very good friends who if i had not gone bc i would never of had the good fortune to meet or know. So there are some plus sides to bc:D .Hope you get all you need from this forum,like i did.Dx

Thanks dalip:) Youre right about the 'alone' thing - Im logging into this forum more and more as the days go on - there is so much brill advice and friendly people here...and Im well up for some plus sides:D - thanks again:)