please help been hiding it for to long

lollyred1

im really beginning to panic and cant cope with the way things have become. i am a 28yr old female who has been signed off work for 6 months with m.e the condition is getting no better but i feel i will have to return to work as cant afford to go on.
i owe £5000 on a loan with natwest
£1600 tesco creditcard
£300 sainsburys credit card
and about £600 on a ex partners loan that he left me (real nice guy)
At the moment my outgoings are almost the same as my money coming in but from the end of the month i will be on half pay whic works out at just over £300 i have no idea what to do my partner knows nothing of this and thinks i paid off credit cards long time ago. I know my body is not really ready to return to work but i really cant see any other way. any advise would be greatt

Ames

I'm 28, female and have ME. First things first, if you're not able to work then don't try, there's a good chance you'll make the ME worse, and your health is far, far more important than debts.

I really think that you need to tell your partner about the debt. It's hard enough dealing with ME without having the debt hanging over you. And I'm sure your partner wouldn't want you to struggle and worry on your own, surely they'll want to help you.

If you put up a statement of affairs then people will be able to help you more. There's a template here http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Have you looked into benefits? It might be worth applying for DLA, it'll ease things a bit. Get an experienced welfare rights officer from somewhere like DIAL though to help you with the forms. You can get DLA and still work if/when you feel able to.

If you want any more help or advice I'm here.

lollyred1

thank you for replying i know i should tell me partner but i am so ashamed.
im planning on going cab next week to see if im entitled to any benefits. its just that i have intrium justicia (sorry for spelling) calling 3 ties a day chasing money and its this that has got me down the most im always worried my partner will get phone first.
i have no idea where to start with benefits and m.e is relatively new to me as well

Ames

someone will be along with the letter to stop phonecalls soon. You can insist that they communicate in writing only. Also they're supposed to be nicer to vulnerable people, so you should let them know you have health problems.

Being in debt is nothing to be ashamed of. You weren't to know you'd get ill and not be able to afford repayments.

Good luck at CAB.

I've got to go now but I'll be back in the morning so I'll see any replies then.

Buffythedebtslayer

hello, can only echo what Ames says,

and its good you are going to the cab, they are very helpful!

In the meantime could you look for a 0% deal? do you know what your credit rating is? If not there are the letters you can send re contact by writing only, then one to send about one pound token payments. Do not panic, there is a way through this.

being in debt is ABSOLUTELY nothing to be Ashamed of. you didn't know this would happen and your partner will more than likely understand.

Honestly post your ingoings and out goings(SOA) and the people here will help you
hang in there honxxx
xxxxx

Numpty_Monkey

A link to harrasment by telephone letter
http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.html?p=11571485&postcount=5

and a:grouphug:

I agree with what Ames has said:A and buffy:A

MrsTinks

As Monkey has posted a link to the letter I'll just support what others have said - ME is an illness - it might not be visible but that doesn't make it less of an issue in day to day life! I was diagnosed (as much as you could/can be) with ME - a form of post viral ME - about 9 years ago now (29 btw ) and it was really not recognised what it was including by employers... As a result I returned back to work way too early and now I still get days when I get exhausted by doing hardly anything (like getting out of bed!) - not helped by being pregnant LOL

My main advice is be honest with your partner and then call CCCS tomorrow morning Send the "only send me letters" letter to stop the calls - they're a pain but they can be stopped
Only do what you feel up to - some people can recover from ME - I think it depends on the type, others will always have it to one degree or another. Pushing yourself too early will NOT help and nor will stress - the more stress the slower you will probably recover