Advice needed re my 7 year old DD

longforthesun

I did think 4 hours was too much. At the last parents night i mentioned to the teacher her homework was taking a long time she told me 20 mins was adequate each night. Only problem is the homework wouldnt get done.

Will have a think about energy boosting snacks and omega 3. Its strange how I didn't think about these but once someone suggest it you think thats a good idea.

msb5262

To me, the problem isn't with the child but with the homework. As a teacher myself, I'm horrified by the idea of any child spending 4 hours on homework - even at age 15 that would be too much after a day's school.
Personally I'd go into school and have a talk with the headteacher about this whole issue; ask for a copy of the school's homework policy too so you are aware of the official school line on this.
To lay it down the line, I would tell school politely that after 20 minutes, your DD will stop doing any homework task she has been given as she is obviously finding school very tiring.
Most teachers would expect children of 7 to read at home daily if possible, maybe look at some times tables or spellings once or twice a week, and complete a written homework task once a week. Beyond this is daft.
Don't feel guilty about taking the initiative here; I told my DD's school that my daughter wouldn't be doing any written homework at all in Year 6 as I thought she was too tired! School accepted this and DD did very well and passed test for grammar school. She is now in Year 8 and doing fine, even handles the homework fairly easily.
Don't let anyone overpower you; decide what is in the interests of your DD and don't waver.
I wonder, would I be right in thinking your DD is in Year 2 and is therefore being prepared for Key Stage 1 SATS tests in May?
Best of luck with all this - and above all, don't worry. Your DD is very young in the scheme of things; make the decisions that will be in your family's interests.

PolishBigSpender

Ok, my post on this thread was mysteriously deleted.

Anyway - on the issue of homework.

Does the child find the homework too easy? If so, there is your answer. It won't serve you or the child well to have a four hour battle over doing the homework - if it's simply too easy, return it to the school unfinished and with a note explaining why. You often see bright children suffer with 'easy' work - and this is simply due to them being understimulated by the work.

The fact that you say that you know that your child is capable suggests that you know that the homework is too easy. In which case, you should decide as to the best course of action - however, I think in this case, you would be better served by studying with her rather than relying on the school to provide interesting/varied/challenging homework.

Concentration in school is no big problem - as long as she's getting the work done. Many bright children also suffer from a lack of concentration - simply because...well, isn't it rather boring to have to listen to a teacher explain for the 100th time to the class idiot?

Please, be careful. You do not want to sour the child to education at such an early age.

allIcouldwishfor

Just a suggestion, but a sticker chart or some other form of reward system for her completing her homework within a set time might give her a little more motivation. BTW, it's not those accellerated maths sheets she doesn't want to do is it?

melwright

Hello, def with the Omega 3 people, both our boys (4 and 5) have it, my oldest was always bad at concentrating and this seemed to work miracles, not saying that it works for everyone, but did for us.
They do it in kid friendly fashion with orange or blackcurrant flovoured tablets and they both love them.
I hope you find whatever is needed to help your DD.

longforthesun

Thanks again for all the advice. msb5262 we are in scotland and as far as I know they do not have any assesments in may she is in primary 3 which i think is the same as year 2. She gets reading every night but only about 8 pages and does this great. There is spelling to be done over the week too and most of the time that is fine as well. I have decided to make contact with the school and speak to them regarding this.

I do think being bored with the homework is a big issue she is just so defient at times too she would rather go to bed and loose privliges like her DS for a week than continue with her homework.

We did a sticker chart last year for a while but as with everything it fell to the wayside. I suppose she lost interest in that too.

The baby book never said anything about the worry you go through when they got to school. Her brother starts in August and he definatley gets bored with things that do not interest him so I suppose i have this all to come with him too.

longforthesun

Melwright Omega 3 is on my shopping list now. Glad to hear a few folk saying they recommend it.

She is also looking very pale these days (she normally has salou skin so this is noticable) so am going to book an appointment with our DR just for a chat to see what they recommend.

I just worry she is being left behind when all her friends parents say there kids have no bother doing the homework. But then again not all parents are honest about their kids so you never know.

mrcow

Personally I think you're going about this the wrong way (and I'm not trying to critisise). I really feel for both of you, but sitting struggling through a worksheet for 4 hours (!) must be absolutely hell for you both.

If there is one way to 100% ensure that a child ends up absolutely hating scho0lwork & homework, then I'd say sitting and forcing them to do a worksheet for hours on end is the way to go about it.

If the school has said that 30 minutes is enough time to spend on homework, then stick to the 30 minutes. Give her a clock to look at and tell her that her challenge is to compete as much as she can within the time frame. After that, she can play with whatever she likes. I'd also make sure that she does it fairly soon after getting home (within 30 minutes) so it's not too late for her.

She's only 7 and the worksheets are hardly going to be rocket science. Anything she hasn't finished, you can quickly talk through with her after the half hour is up (but don't spend any more than five minutes going through it).

Her challenge tomorrow can be to do more than she did today. But it's not a biggie. Just because she's not completing the sheet doesn't mean to say that she's not getting it. She's only 7 - give her baby steps.

Alternatively, find other ways of going through the work. For example, if the worksheet is on time for example, then there are loads of games on the market or online resources to help revise this topic.

If the teacher is getting hung up on who is completing which worksheet then perhaps they need a gentle reminder that all kids develop differently with strengths and weaknesses and just because someone is not completing their written work, it doesn't mean to say that they don't understand it.

mrcow

longforthesun wrote: »

But then again not all parents are honest about their kids so you never know.

Parents are hardly ever 100% honest about their children. You only have to take a look through posts on this board to see what a bunch of perfect parents we all are with little angels for children (which obviously is very far from the truth on many occasions). People will only tell you what they want you to hear.

Don't worry about what the other children are doing. It's not a competition. For your daughter's sake, you need to keep perspective of the fact that she's only 7.The best thing you can do for her is to ensure that she is happy, healthy and has a positive approach to every aspect of her life including school and that she does things in ways that are comfortable for her to deal with.

As her parent, you're one of the only people in her life who will be 100% truely on her side. Don't lose sight of that. It doesn't matter what other children are doing (or what their parents say they are doing)

longforthesun

mrcow thank you for your advise. Dont worry I dont see it as a critisism. I totally agree 4 hours was too long. I just wanted to get this finished.

I felt awful last night. I am going to set a timer from now on and anything not done will be left till the next night and if we run out of nights then a note to the teacher will need to put in. Her teacher is new to the job and very unexperienced in my opinion. She is not very approachable and parents night was very strained as she did not like me pointing out about lack of communication from her regarding the childrens work something that has never been an issue in the past so i could not understand how it was an issue now.

Any way she is off to school today and all is fine again and I promise tonight will be different.