Partners Debt Problem

jawa1

My partner has a debt problem which we need to talk about.

Q. Is there anything we can do so she cannot get it this problem again and get a credit card / loan etc.
I am probably prepared to help her out but it would make the decision easier if I new she could not get into trouble again!

kathfisch

Hi there
It sounds like you are both having a hard time at the moment and I can understand you wanting to help her to not get back into debt. If you mean practical things blocking her from getting credit I don't know of any such thing (but debt problems recorded on her credit file will make it difficult for some time). The best way is for your partner to realise the state of things herself and to decide not to get back into debt, you really cannot force someone who has not had their "lightbulb moment" yet. My suggestion would be to encourage your partner to seek some advice from a free debt management and counselling charity (consumer credit counselling service etc) about the best way to deal with her debts. But think carefully before lending her money or paying them off for her because, as you suspect, she may just run up the debt again.
I wish you and your partner the best of luck!

Northernbird_2

I fully agree with what kathfisch, but I have heard you can put something on your credit file to ask for lenders to not provide credit even if asked, in the same way that you can add explanations for particular areas of the report. I don't know if that's definitely true.

This is extreme, it only treats symptoms rather than the cause I guess.

Hope you sort it out.

headchef

Would agree you can't force someone to have their moment. But two options struck me though.
If she isn't near the point where she can no longer finance the debt but is still wracking it up and up, then one way would be to sit down with her and work out how long and how much it will take to pay the money back. For instance if she is paying the min amount on credit cards then you can show her what an absolute fortune it is going to be and hopefully it will scare her into stopping spending.
If she doesn't, then she will reach the next stage sooner or later anyway:
If she is near the point where she can no longer finance the debt then as poster above said, she or you and her (for moral support) need to contact one of the debt charities and start the process of negotiating with creditors to freeze interest and pay debt back in managable amounts. She will have to prepare a SOA (outgoings and incomings, minus the debts and then work out how much she has left to throw at debts). Once a DMP (Debt Management Plan) is in action then most creditors WILL issue a default which will go on her credit file for 6 years and 'voila' she will not be able to get any more lines of credit for those 6 years.
The withdrawal of means to get credit and the shock and worry of getting to that stage is normally enough for people to have their 'light bulb' moment. I speak from experience!
It is scary but the funny thing is, not nearly as bad as one might think (having defaults) as that is when you think to yourslef 'why the h*ll to I NEED more credit anyway!!!'. Answer is generally 'I don't and I never, EVER want it again'! :mad: ... :rolleyes:
If it helps, post a SOA on here (if you live together then do it as a joint one but with each of your incomings and outgoings - this dosn't make you responsible in any way but it helps to see a full picture. We will be homing in on your OH's commitments and spending.
She is very lucky to have you! Take care

headchef

Addendum to above post:
This is the best way to help - as others have said, helping her in a material way will only make it easy for her to slip back int debt. We are each responsible for our own debts (unless extreme cirmcumstances etc). Even if you have pots of money, she must do this herself! Debtors are recidivists (well OK it isn't crimininal behaviour exactly) who unless they feel the pain first, fall back into old ways.

bank_of_slate

If you want a shock tactic for her, check out the snowball calculator,
that will work out the total to repay if you just stick to the minimum payment
...Linda xx

headchef

Thanks Linda - I'd forgotten about that little gem!

jawa1

Thanks everyone.

We had a good chat most of the weekend about it. She has given me her credit cards to keep and now knows to talk to me if money is running out.

We both went through Martins Excel Budget planner (great stuff) and spotted straight away what was wrong. Mainly the fuel costs and bills. Basically there is not enough coming in!

It is not a case of her spending wildly out of control but over a long time she has spent on the CC to get by and then only repaid minimum amount and sometimes missed.
I am going to pay off the CC via a 0% on my CC which we then have till September to pay it off.
We have cut her share of the household bills and worked out a monthly repayment plan for us to save up to hit the September payment date. Also worked out how long it will take her to pay the debt and back what she owes me in affect.
I have to help her in a material way as I cannot stand being in debt and with her in debt that in affect means I am in debt as well!

All we need to do now is stick to it! and talk about it on a regular basis.

Thanks.

bank_of_slate

Hi Jawa,
Excellent news that you've sorted it out between you.
There's nothing that drives a wedge between couples like money troubles.
Keep posting and check out alternative utility providers, you might be able to reduce your bills!
...Linda xx

kathfisch

jawa that's great! I'm glad you've managed to talk to her and come to some arrangements. Also the fact that you've transferred the debt to a credit card (albeit in your name), rather than payed it from savings or something, means that she can see it as a proper debt. You can work together, as you say, to pay off this and the feeling of relief will be immense! I hope that the shock of her situation and the satisfaction of paying things back will stop her from wanting more credit in the future. You sound like you have a very strong relationship and I hope that this experience brings you closer together and makes you stronger.

Don't forget, there might be ways to save money that you haven't thought of, feel free to post your statement of affairs here and we will look through it for you. As Linda says, utility providers are a good place to start because it is very little hassle to change and the savings can really add up.

Do let us know how you get on and ask if you need any advice. Best of luck
Kath

LollyLou_2

jawa - well done in sitting down with your partner and talking things through. Just one little thought, why don't you get her to join MSE? Not only for the practical advice but knowing that there are other people out there that also have to budget, cut back etc that way, she won't think she is on her own (not that it sounds like she is, you are obviously being of tremendous help!)