Where?How?Do I Start To Sort Myself Out????

iceblond

I can probably answer the above question myself. Stop spending, pull my head out of the sand and see the light and gain control.

This morning I was wandering around Ikea and very nearly ordered myself a new couch:eek:, nearly 5 hundred pounds, when only last night i had made a pact with myself to stop spending and go down the route I know I have to go BR. My Lightbulb moment came when I looked at my trolley and recited the mantra Do I Need It (No) Do I Want It(0h yes oh yes) and the thought that Id chuck it all in the corner when I got home, I felt ashamed, especially as I know that I cant afford it and am up to my proverbial neck in debt, phone ringing all day everyday, the postman drops me a sackload of mail of most days, and yet again there I was in Ikea wasting money.

So the sanity returned, I just abandoned my trolley mid aisle and ended up in the ladies loo, door locked and found myself bawling my eyes out sitting on a cold loo seat in the middle of Ikea Wednesbury, safe to say I think my Lightbulb moment hit there with all the clarity and sense I knew I had to sort out of my life out, so here I am, I just typed in BR and help and the search engine suggested here.

Ive read a few posts quickly, oh the joy of just finding people in crisis like myself, that I was not the only one out there in a financial mess and the few posts I skimmed through quickly of the sucesses and the sheer grit of some of you so here I am Im standing up and saying IM IN DEBT LOTS OF IT HELP ME PLEASE as Im weak..I have checked my bank balance can live till the end of February ok and have a bonus coming on Feb 14th and will use that to pay for my BR fees and have just took the scissors to ALL my credit cards, they look like a pile of crunched up jigsaw bits, might make a mosaic out of them and now I feel sick, but have done it so this is my first day in financial rehab...hello is there anyone out there to point me in the right direction hello hello hello

ogglydoggly

Hi Iceblonde,

Welcome to the forum. This is the place you will find like minded people in exactly the same boat as you and all the support you need.

My husband and I were made BR on 13/01/09 and it is starting to sink in now. Once you get past the I want it and I want it now things def get better. You have made the first steps on the way to a new, debt free life

Good luck

Merry_Gentry

Hiya mate. Just wanted to give you major ((((((HUGS)))))))) and a pat on the back. You have taken the first step - scary though it might be - and are on your way to sorting yourself out. First thing you need to do is get yourself some advice from CCCS or Debtline - they will help clarify your position, and give you focus.

Well done Iceblond :grouphug:

startagain_2

Hello and welcome to the board iceblond. :j

I am sorry your LBM had to happen in Ikea,on a busy morning no doubt, but you will be so grateful that it has happened!
You will get loads of help, advice and support on here and there are always answers to every question you could possibly think of!

Read the sticky at the top of the board http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=1056083
this will show you all the debt helplines and give the contact details. They will be your first port of call and you can discuss your financial woes with them and they will point you in the right direction.
Congratulations on abandoning the trolley and cutting up the cards. Wait until you start dealing with just cash - it's a really weird feeling!

My best wishes and very best of luck to you......

SA

iceblond

Thanks ogglydoggly and Merry Gentry

I know my failings:o Im hoping to get my BR date sorted out tommorow morning when the court opens, last time I enquired it was 4 to 6 weeks the last time so if its still the same then looks like sometime in March (subject to confirmation).

Im sitting here sticking my cut up peices of credit cards on to an old pic frame, this is going in my hallway so I can remind myself what a stupid !!! Ive been. So my plan of action for today is to

* Sort out paperwork in readyness to get a SOA up and running

* Get in contact with CCCS and see what my options are

and work out a budget to live on till the end of February

Daft thing is I earn a decentish wage, so why am I in this mess ( thats another story)??? but looking round my flat yes I can see where my moneys gone, compensating myself for being lonley, not many friends and I suspect a bout of depression thats hovering over me, so am of to the doctors this week when I can get an appointment, meantime I am going to have a freebie afternoon looking through BR forum and DFW forum and other related sites and maybe hatch a vague plan of action
Thank you for your kind words of support
Sadie

iceblond

Thank you also to you startagain, I suspect the whole experience of handling cash will be traumatic, Im the original credit card flashing queen ( she says to her utter shame), so once again thank you all who have replied

S

startagain_2

iceblond wrote: »

Thank you also to you startagain, I suspect the whole experience of handling cash will be traumatic, Im the original credit card flashing queen ( she says to her utter shame), so once again thank you all who have replied

S

Not so much traumatic but it turns you into a right tightass - you don't want to part with any.........

Umm, the picture frame will be a nice present for the OR - they ask for your c/cs - cut up in TWO ....... :rotfl: :rotfl:

Mine are like a jigsaw puzzle - about 100 pieces!

Off to work, have a good day...... ( under the circumstances)



SA

New_Kid_on_the_Block_2

Hi Iceblonde and everyone else!

This is my first posting and I didn't know what to put. Then I read Iceblondes story and thought 'this is where I begin'. Your story is about the same as mine. I can't say no to the nice things in the shops, and it has been down to years of lonliness, bad days at work, depression you name it. I have been advised to go bankrupt and I want to do it but have been advised I am only borderline. This has freaked me out completely as I cannot afford to lose £495 if the court says 'NO'.:eek:.

I am signing off for a while but would love to chat to someone to get advice from people who have been there. I will have more time to give my full story.

iceblond

Hello New Kid On The Block

Thanks Im a newbie to this forum as well

My friend who has gone BR said theres no reason that she knows to that they can refuse BR but the more experienced BR advisers will know best.

In my case BR will give me a fresh start and kick start my life .

I think, well I know Ive some form of depression just by my spending habits, but a cold loo seat in IKEA made me realise that enough was enough so today as they say is the first day of my new potentially debt free life and onwards to peace and tranquility and a stress free existance

S

New_Kid_on_the_Block_2

I'm back from my shopping trip (food only ).
I know where you're coming from with the fresh start thing. I'm sure I'll feel like a new woman, and I most definitely learnt my lesson. I can't wait to have the worry lifted from my shoulders, but as a natural born worrier, I worry about every aspect of going bankrupt. I like to be organised so I want to get everything in order (i.e opening a cash card account with the Co-op and closing other bank accounts and savings accounts with no money in them) before filling in the forms. I have been advised, for tax reasons not to do it until after 1 April but I can't wait that long. I need to get things moving as soon as possible. Like yourself, I earn a good wage, but it is my own stupidity over the years that I am now in this situation. It's really good to know that there are people I can now talk to on here, and share my experiences with, as I go through the process.

haleygrey

Iceblond, you're in the right place, as others have said before me, whenever you need to talk, theres always someone on here with wise words to help you through it. My story is very similar to yours, ie depression, loneliness, and just generally being rubbish with money and every year i was determined to sort it so that i could give my children a good life but every year it seemed to get worse so in November I made my decision and my court date is 18th February.