being a single parent student!!!!

Ravergurly

hi all, i am single parent that has recently returned to education and am doing an independent research project on the above subject and wondered if anyone had any experiences they would like to share!!! Thank you

Aspiring

What are you looking for, exactly?

How they manage with all their responsibilities of study vs family?
How they manage financially?
How they are perceived by their fellow students?
Childcare facilities?
Financial aid?

Ravergurly

all of the above and also any personal obstacles that people felt they had to over come

[Deleted User]

I'm a single parent and full time student.

I find combining my degree and family hard due to not having family members to help me if i have very late lectures (ie after my after school club ends) or if I have an essay to do, however I find being very organised helps. I treat my degree like a job and "go in" everyday and work from 9 til 2 and then it gives me my evenings free.
If I have to study in the eve, I do not pick up a book before my kids are in bed I try and focus on them entirely.

Financially, I am better off ( not by much) as I was on income support, however I think this is due to my degree having a good bursery, I budget and stick to it.

I'm not sure how I'm percieved by my fellow students, there are a few mature students on my course and i get on well with them all. I mix with both mature and younger students and we have nights out. I don't think being a mature student stops you mixing, for me, I'll be friends with people who are like me.

Childcare is not a problem for me as my two go to full time school who have a breakfast club and they are picked up by a club. I get 75% of my costs paid by uni.

However, for younger children, there are lots of nurseries in and around my campus, so getting a place in one of them shouldn't be a problem, I guess.

Nothing has been a barrier, I don't see things as barriers I see them as obsticles to get around. I love my course and have had no problems with any aspects of uni and uni life.

HTH

princesspinchie

I have a 1 year old child and returned to my 3rd year at uni when she was 9 months old. I find it extremely difficult, due to a lack of childcare and the fact that she is so young. I do find the loans etc quite generous but you still need to budget. My tutors are very understanding of my commitments and as long as I tell them what's happening and where I am up to they are happy to accomodate me and help via email.

I think as a student with a child it is hard but managable if you work hard.

Aspiring

Aspiring wrote: »

What are you looking for, exactly?

How they manage with all their responsibilities of study vs family?
How they manage financially?
How they are perceived by their fellow students?
Childcare facilities?
Financial aid?

I am currently taking an Access course and will be going to Uni in September 2009.

Financially, I am managing ok and today had a Finance Workshop to explain loans and grants for 2009/10. In many ways I feel I am more than experienced enough to be able to manage and so I'm not daunted by the figures. MSE provides very interesting articles on this subject too, so I feel confident I can manage the financial side to my own advantage.

Childcare isn't a major issue as my children are 14 and 13yo. When it comes to lectures, which might impinge on outside school/supervision times, I have a friend who has most kindly volunteered to have them during those times - although, to be fair, my lectures are will not clash with after school times.

Managing study times vs family responsibilities hasn't been a problem at this time. I am very much a morning person and have excellent time management skills, developed over many years of juggling voluntary work, 3 teens, 2 toddlers and (then) husband's shift system. So, I am not adverse to getting up at 3am to make the most of the quiet and undemanding hours before my dependant children wake up.

Meal planning has been the backbone of being able to function both financially and on a time management level. By shopping monthly and having a clear idea of what will be served on any given day during that month has proved invaluable.

On the one hand, I am fortunate that my "children" (teens) are well disciplined, have set (delegated) routine, household tasks instilled from before I began on further education; yet I am very conscious that it would be very easy to believe that they do not need much attention - on the contrary, as young teens I believe they need equal attention, if not more so, than a toddler. By that I mean, I have to give them quality time to listen to their woes/anxieties, be a support for their educational needs and also invest time in shared interests. I support them in their sporting hobbies; but to achieve this, I have to be very disciplined with MY time. I timetable how much time I commit to academic work (study, research, assignments, projects) and keep to the deadlines. As Sallylizzie says, I treat it like a job and go in to the library as a discipline to keep on track.

One of the drawbacks I have encountered, not just being a single parent, but also not having parents/relations/close friends to draw on their experiences, is that in contrast to others on my course (whose parents/relations are already in the field we are studying), there isn't anyone outside of the course who I can discuss ideas with. It would be so interesting, and helpful, to have someone other than peers to discuss and mindblast ideas with who had practical experience. Sometimes, I feel that this gives my peers an upper edge; yet, by the same token, I do feel that it underscores my own abilities that I do it all on my own. On the other hand, I presently have the respect of my peers because of my life experiences and knowledge garnered and have found they will often ask my advice or seek reassurance on their own work. A huge compliment really.

The only obstacle I have encountered to date, is my age difference and from day 1 realising that I am old enough to be the parent of most of my course peers. This was not only blindingly obvious from day one, but did become an issue for one person in particular who thought it was a huge joke that someone of my ripe age was even considering going on to Uni. A very interesting learning experience, from both perspectives

If I had to come up with another negative, it would be this; I wish I had realised what was available and taken this step sooner! Being a single parent hasn't been an obstacle per se; on the contrary, I think it is to my advantage because I don't have to kow-tow or compromise with husband/partner over issues such as priorities, self development etc. Had I still been in a relationship, I'm learning very quickly how much I am growing as a person and the potential for that to strain a relationship if a partner isn't fully behind the personal growth of the other is becoming quite apparent.

I am learning a new confidence - which can only benefit my children.
I am learning new life skills - which, again, can only benefit my children.
I am sharing their educational journey, and hopefully, inspiring them too.

I think the pro's far outweight the con's and I would encourage others to take the plunge. The benefits are quite amazing

foxyd3vil12

im a single mother and am currently in my 2nd yr of university. I have struggled over the past 2 yrs due my son being 4 yrs old. Any spare time I have, I do as much work as I can. I am having difficulty with childcare when im in uni early or late. I cant rely on family as my parents work full time and his dads parents have their daughters child while she does her taxi runs! as for money, loan and grant is sufficient and have given me a bit of free cash to save for a rainy day. my tutor is great, i was struglling with three assignments before xmas and she was really helpful and caring. she has helped alot and dont think id still be there if it wasnt for her.

Ravergurly

Hiya to all that have replied so far. I hughely appreciate your replies, not only for my topic of research but also to see that there are other people out there that have managed and other people that have struggled as well. seeing that people have managed gives me a bit of inspiration!!!

EmiliaAndBentley_2

to op and all who have replied i currently have a 6 month old son and things are going good for us both but as his dad is going anywhere(career or helping us out) nor our relationship at the moment I have decided I think i want to go back to uni! Thanks very much for the thread and replies!!

[Deleted User]

EmiliaAndBentley wrote: »

to op and all who have replied i currently have a 6 month old son and things are going good for us both but as his dad is going anywhere(career or helping us out) nor our relationship at the moment I have decided I think i want to go back to uni! Thanks very much for the thread and replies!!

Good for you.:D
SL x

claire6hy

Aspiring wrote: »

What are you looking for, exactly?

How they manage with all their responsibilities of study vs family?
How they manage financially?
How they are perceived by their fellow students?
Childcare facilities?
Financial aid?

im doing my 1st year of a hnd, and have my own hous and a 2 year old girl.

her nursery is all funded for me full time, and i recieve £108 a month extra bursary for being a lone parent, as well as tax credits etc....

i have loads more money than i did when i was on income support, and as my daughter is in bed by half 7 i have plenty time for college work.

maybe... half of my class are also parents, but only 1 or 2 are single parents like me