The Compers Inn - Part 12

gerturdeanna

Someone tell me off please for being SELFISH!!!

cathyj

Nips I think I have sent you some today.
x

cathyj

gerturdeanna wrote: »

Someone tell me off please for being SELFISH!!!

why what have you done?

Miss_Cinnabon

ok sorry for the long post, made me laugh so much when i read it as its so true:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: just had to share it!:D

This is an actual letter sent to Proctor & Gamble

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER

BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE

Dear Mr. Thatcher

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horse riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realise it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that the UK is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you *+*#*ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable?

Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Nurofen and Kahl!a and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Tesco's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"?- Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an £8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending !!!!!!!!. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

stressedofdevon

As Mums and partners I usually think most of us need to get MORE selfish!

What have you been up to Gert?

toniq

I only play bingo 90 and only on weekday mornings
i play 50p per game £1 link, never more than a tenner a couple of times a week xx
I always chat in the same room because i beleive they like the nice chatters it keeps the room moving xx
in the mornings on weekdays theres not as many but still a few to make it worthwhile xx
weekends are too hectic and i think less chance xx
My friend won the jp last week when it was £5,800 bless her she only ever played 50p per game too xxx

nips

Yes, thanks Cathy, got them and like to ping straight away.

I cant beleive that your still awake Princess, how do you feel?

Im always tempted to start playing bingo but again am afriad I will get hooked

What have you done Gert - DO TELL! lol x

cathyj

wow that was close, managed to set her laptop up just in time for her top see grandad via webcam, kids!
Have changed the settings now so she is a user and I am the adminstrator! Mums have to do everything!
x

Barnabysue

princess pixiedust

Loved it :rotfl: !!!!!

bucks73

Evening all

What happened gert we all need to be selfish sometimes

EDIT: parcels all sent pde from Littleholly and someone else oh no forgot thanks - two parcels down for sending back now though more please