Advice about other peoples possesions?

Danni1979

Hiya al
I'm not sure if you can help but thought it may be worth a shot asking anyway..
My sis (shes 42)had her boyfriend(hes 34) of 1 month move in with her,after 1 month they just couldnt get on as he is very controlling so he eventually moved into his own place,left all his stuff with her and they split up,this was 2months ago by the way
Now this is where it gets a bit tricky, he refuses to take any of his stuff ,she has a spare room full of his possesions,sofa,cd's tv,etc..
She has asked him to take them,he just refuses,so she tells him she will put everything in the out house and he tells her that if she does that she has to pay for everything because it will get damaged and that she is NOT to touch anything of his..
I really am hoping someone can give me some advice on this matter as my sister has mental health problems and this guy is nothing but a bully,theres a lot more to this story but it would take to long to go into..
My main thing is,how does she make him take his stuff??
And if she does put his things in the out house,who is responsiable for it?
Thanks

PasturesNew

Is he still paying any part of the rent/bills?

The best thing might be to rent some self storage close to where he is living, put everything in there, pay for 3 months of storage and send him the key (recorded delivery).

Danni1979

Thanks for replyin,he has never paid her anything towards the keep of the home,hes made a total mug of my sis..
He actually has a lock up but just point blank refuses to take his stuff,shes tried arranging to meet him there and that she takes his stuff but he just tells her NOT to touch it at all or he will bill her for damage,ie he willmake up damage on the items!!
Shes on benefits as she has mental health problems so doesnt have any money to pay for a lock up.
I really think this is beyond the joke tbh but just dont know what to do to help her!!

poppysarah

She should write to him giving him 48 hours notice of putting everything out on the street. Get it signed for so he can't deny getting it. Put everything out on street in the morning and leave it there.

Danni1979

Thanks Poppysarah that might be a good one,but if he leaves it out,ie doesnt pick it up in the time will she be responsible for it?
She has tried that before without putting it in writing and he just tells her he cant pick it up because he cant get a van!!

debtfreein4years

I would be really evil and send him a recorded delivery letter telling him that if he doesnt make arrangements to pick his stuff up within 7 or 14 days (depends how generous that you want to be) then it will be donated to charity.

i think the only thing you can do in this situation is throw it out and deal with te backlash, but if she has mental health issues like you've stated and this guy is a total bleep then it could do her more harm than good. she needs to make the decision ultimetly.

Also note that he could go to the police and say that she has stolen his property (one of my friends ex's did this and they had a terrible time sorting it out)

good luck

poppysarah

Perhaps CAB can offer advice. Short of paying for a van and packing it all in and dumping it on his new doorstep then there's not much option open to her.

liz-paul

I don't suppose your sister has a social worker or anyone who can help her with this? I know its hard to get them though. CAB would be a good place to go for some advice. I also remeber when I lvied in London (don't know where you are but guess all cities have this) that there were various free legal clinics around. There was one in the Church where I went to Brownies for example.
My own personal opinion would be to doante it to charity/car boot/flog it on ebay but don't know if you could get into any trouble for that.....

lincroft1710

It sounds like your sister's ex has problems also. I certainly wouldn't leave my CDs etc without agreement in a house to which I had no right of access, especially some of the exes I've had (absolutely no offence aimed at your sister). She does not need this aggro and upset. As she has not agreed to store his possessions I would doubt that she could be held liable if they are damaged. She does need to get proper legal advice though.

What (god forbid) if there was a fire at your sister's and his possessions were destroyed? I'd doubt he'd have insurance, and doubtful if hers would cover it.

Danni1979

Thats a really goodpoint about the fire lincroft,i have just spoken to her and advised her to get an appointment at the cab,i think that will be best really.
Thanks for all your help.

Darth_Marty

This fella seems like a bully and needs to be faced down. Do you have a brother/father/uncle/friend who could help you do that?

With regards to his possesions they cant be very dear to him if hes just left them for 3 months! Personally if it were my sister id make sure she calls the police to at least get a documented complaint on record then send a recorded letter and back that up with a witnessed phone call stating that by midday on such & such a date the local charity shop will be picking up his belongings, if he gets them before hand theres no issue if not its no longer your problem. As for consequences, well apart from the threat of physical violence i cant see any legal ramifications as its her house and she has given due notice, hell hes basically tresspassing.

For what its worth id also !!!!!slap him.

But violence doesnt get you anywhere