an animal is for life

UKTigerlily

Nikkisun wrote: »

Forgot to say - we do have insurance and our vet is going to claim direct but is letting us pay our excess as and when!

awww I want your Vet!

leiela

Even though i've successfully taken on two rescued cats, I can understand why people don't want rescue animals, because i've had a very bad experience with my third pet a dog which i got from a rescue center about 10 years go.

I won't bore you with the details but trust me when i say she's not at all mentally stable and keeping her is a nightmare most of the time so bad infact that i have swore blind that i will never get a rescue animal again.

when we took her it, we very quickly learn'ed that she had issues we as a family could not cope with, going back to the rescue center 3 weeks after taking her they told us they would not take her back and infact offered to charge US to put her down.

Lucky for her i guess im a big softie and couldn't bare the thought of having her put to sleep and i've battled to keep her for almost 10 years.

Back in november she got sick, a tumour that the vet wanted to charge me £500 to remove, baring in mind this is an animal that makes my life very very difficult i honestly had to think of the options.

The options the way i saw it was :-

1) pay for the treatment which i could no way afford.

2) have the vet put her to sleep even though there was every chance that with the operation she could live a full and healthy life.

or

3) take her to the rescue centre and dump her on their doorstep, hoping they would give her the surgery she needed and possibly find her a new home perhaps with someone who could deal with her.

Now as bad as i sounds i really did concider number 3. I'd tried to get her re-homed though normal channel's even before she was sick and no rescue centres would take her (because i felt the need to tell them about her difficulties) and the thought of spending £500 i could not afford on a dog which most days makes my life very very difficult was amost unthinkable.

I love my dog... but im the only one in the house that does, the dog hates the kids, and the kids are terrified of her (rightly so she is not "kid safe") and me and my husband argued and argued over the decision to what we should do with her. Made even worse by the fact that he's been trying to get me to put her to sleep for 10 years a fight we have every time she destroy's something, poo's on the carpet or barks and snaps at pretty much anyone who is not me.

Now im not condoning in any way shape or form the abandonment of happy healthy animals, but i truely had to concider it for mine. I couldn't face putting her down myself, i could not be the person who ordered her death... i love her and no matter how much i know it was probabally in her best intrest i couldn't do it, i guess in some ways i needed someone else to make that decision.

In the end i paid for the £500 worth of surgery, adding another £500 to my debts of £30,000 something which put a strain on my marriage as i expressedly went against my husbands wishes and i still don't think he's forgiven me for it.

Now im stuck with a dog that love but know in my heart deserves better than what i can provide. still wondering if putting her down would have been the kindest thing for all of us because 10 years i've had a dog i can't let into the house, or near my kids, who i can't take for a walk and if she needs to go to the vet of any reason the vet has to put to sleep for the entire proceedure, even some something as simple as getting her shots.

Anyway i will NEVER get another rescue animal, and that makes me very sad because i know there was lots of lovely animals out there who need good homes, but untill i can be sure that the animal i'd get is suitable for my home, my kids i can't risk going thought this again.

foreign_correspondent

leiela wrote: »

Anyway i will NEVER get another rescue animal, and that makes me very sad because i know there was lots of lovely animals out there who need good homes, but untill i can be sure that the animal i'd get is suitable for my home, my kids i can't risk going thought this again.

Whilst I empathise with your predicament, I have to say this is not necessarily because she is a rescue dog - my rescue dog is as chilled as they get, the vet loves her 'cos she will let you do anything to her, and wags all the way through.

(for example - I tried to make her sick last year, in a panic cos she had scoffed a large bar of dark chocolate, and was amazed that although I tried sticking my fingers down her throat, several times, with no sucess, she didnt even try to resist or bite my fingers, and in the end just rolled over, like 'I give in, do what you want' poor dog - lol!!)

My last rescue dog had a fantastic temprement, despite being a little ginger terrier of the sort generally regarded to be snappy, she had a wonderful character and temprement and again, didnt have a growl or snap in her - in fact she hardly ever barked, despie the fact that she was rescued after several years in filthy pen at the bottom of a garden. She loved my little niece and was very, very gentle with her.

On the other hand - My uncle has a pedigree (and very expensive) westie, who he has had since 8 weeks - BUT I would not trust for a minute. He is snappy, unpredicatble, barks aggressively and continuously at people, and once cornered a little boy and barked and snapped at him till the little boy was rescued - really terrifying for the little lad.

I also know a girl who had a pedigree cocker, which developed rage syndrom, and had to be put to sleep after biting a child in the family on the face.

Your dog may have these problems because of it's background, in which case a behaviouralist may be able to help, however, he may also have some sort of biological problem, mentally or neurologically which could be the cause.

I have to say, as a responsible owner, I would consider it kinder to put a dog to sleep if it became dangerous, rather than dump it or potentially pass the problem onto another family. Its no life for a dog to be outside all the time and unable to interact with the family, and its clearly not ideal for you either.

Its a shame the rescue you got it from wasnt better - reputable rescues would have the dog back in a flash in circumstances such as yours- (see the story of tylersbabe and her greyhounds on this page for an example of this working well)

ETA - the rescue my dog came from offer the support of a behavioralist free of charge if you have any problems wth a dog you home from them, as well as insisting that the dog goes back to them if you are unable to keep it for any reason.

foreign_correspondent

simontheiceman wrote: »

Mnay thanks for that - It wasnt until I read your post that I could see that utterly remarkable point - why dont they rescue? The list of potential reasons could, of course, be huge, but I am prepared to bet good money that it didn't even cross their mind to consider a rescue pet rather than a new pup or kit.

Another piece of good news is that our local charities are having a great deal of success with finding homes for older cats. I know that this is no consolation for the dogs that dont make it, but it is a good piece of news regardless. I'm afraid I am still smarting from the pre-christmas "clear out" of the unwanted and unloved - far worse this year than I can remember in 14/15 years, hence my bit of "vitriol".

Thanks! So, I do make sense occasionally then.:T

Its a bad year to be a stray dog - and probably to be a vet who ends up with the job of euthanising nice, healthy dogs - the result of humans irresponsiblity sadly.

UKTigerlily

leiela wrote: »

Even though i've successfully taken on two rescued cats, I can understand why people don't want rescue animals, because i've had a very bad experience with my third pet a dog which i got from a rescue center about 10 years go.

I won't bore you with the details but trust me when i say she's not at all mentally stable and keeping her is a nightmare most of the time so bad infact that i have swore blind that i will never get a rescue animal again.

when we took her it, we very quickly learn'ed that she had issues we as a family could not cope with, going back to the rescue center 3 weeks after taking her they told us they would not take her back and infact offered to charge US to put her down.

Lucky for her i guess im a big softie and couldn't bare the thought of having her put to sleep and i've battled to keep her for almost 10 years.

Back in november she got sick, a tumour that the vet wanted to charge me £500 to remove, baring in mind this is an animal that makes my life very very difficult i honestly had to think of the options.

The options the way i saw it was :-

1) pay for the treatment which i could no way afford.

2) have the vet put her to sleep even though there was every chance that with the operation she could live a full and healthy life.

or

3) take her to the rescue centre and dump her on their doorstep, hoping they would give her the surgery she needed and possibly find her a new home perhaps with someone who could deal with her.

Now as bad as i sounds i really did concider number 3. I'd tried to get her re-homed though normal channel's even before she was sick and no rescue centres would take her (because i felt the need to tell them about her difficulties) and the thought of spending £500 i could not afford on a dog which most days makes my life very very difficult was amost unthinkable.

I love my dog... but im the only one in the house that does, the dog hates the kids, and the kids are terrified of her (rightly so she is not "kid safe") and me and my husband argued and argued over the decision to what we should do with her. Made even worse by the fact that he's been trying to get me to put her to sleep for 10 years a fight we have every time she destroy's something, poo's on the carpet or barks and snaps at pretty much anyone who is not me.

Now im not condoning in any way shape or form the abandonment of happy healthy animals, but i truely had to concider it for mine. I couldn't face putting her down myself, i could not be the person who ordered her death... i love her and no matter how much i know it was probabally in her best intrest i couldn't do it, i guess in some ways i needed someone else to make that decision.

In the end i paid for the £500 worth of surgery, adding another £500 to my debts of £30,000 something which put a strain on my marriage as i expressedly went against my husbands wishes and i still don't think he's forgiven me for it.

Now im stuck with a dog that love but know in my heart deserves better than what i can provide. still wondering if putting her down would have been the kindest thing for all of us because 10 years i've had a dog i can't let into the house, or near my kids, who i can't take for a walk and if she needs to go to the vet of any reason the vet has to put to sleep for the entire proceedure, even some something as simple as getting her shots.

Anyway i will NEVER get another rescue animal, and that makes me very sad because i know there was lots of lovely animals out there who need good homes, but untill i can be sure that the animal i'd get is suitable for my home, my kids i can't risk going thought this again.

At least you would take her to a rescue, I have no issue with people who genuinely need to rehome & go about it properly, via a rescue, sometimes these things happen, they have to me before now. As FC says, your Dog may have an underlying condition causing problems, have you had a behaviourist in to work with it?

I think in the situation you describe, from what you say, it'd be kinder to have her PTS, it's unlikely she'd be rehomed when there's thousands of Dogs in rescue with no health worries & excellent temperaments. I'd be interested to know more about the situation but nobody could blame you if her problems are so severe she can't even be vaccinated whilst muzzled x

leiela

When we chose her at the rescue centre they told us that she'd come from an abusive home however at that time she seemed very timid, she was so adorable scared of everyone and everything.

she had sever internal bleeding when they found her and had not been fed in at least 3 weeks according the the worker and from what we were told was hours away from dying. The centre didn't let us take her home for 2 weeks after we'd chosen her and i just wanted to give her a home where she'd be loved.

Sadly the timid little dog did not last long, after about a week of bieng in my home she'd figured out we weren't gonig to abuse her and she became this unmanagable uncontrolllable ball of excitment. I mean seriously this dog doens't sleep, doens't sit down she is constently spinning.

After she destroyed about 6 peices of furnicher and bite my husband we tried to take her back to the centre, but they just said they'd have to put her down if she was "that unmanagable" they made me feel awful like i'd somehow failed by not even giving her a chance to settle. They convinced me to take her home and "give her time" which i did.

6 weeks later things had got worse not better, she destroyed everything she saw, she no longer even waited for us to leave the room before she began her distruction, disapline of no sort worked ... she chewed, poo'd and bounced everywhere bouncing sounds funny but she's a 25kg german shepard cross there is nothing small about her, you sit on the couch she bounces on the couch and on you, if you happen to be on in her way.

I rang them up again and again they said if i brought her in they would have to put her to sleep, back then i felt like the falure i was convinced that her behavious was somehow due to my lack of experienced, she's good natured just "extremly exictable" and i couldn't let them put her down because of my failure.

So i spent about £150 on puppie training lessons untill i was asked to leave because she was disupting the class, then i sort out a behaviourist but at £50 a session we ran out of money before we made any real progress.

About all we learn't was that her behavious was due to her past abuse, her aggession wasn't real aggeression but fear, she lashes out when she feels threatened, men in general terrify her the behaviourist thought it was a man who used to abuse her.

Children terrify her to the point that if there is a child in the room her tail go's down she whines and physically shakes. The behaviourist thinks this is something to do with the unpredicatable nature of kids, kids run around randomly they touch and poke and pull and she just can't handle kids, which of course was made worse when i got pregnant having only owned her for a few weeks.

We can't walk her because putting her on a lead makes her go crazy, she run's in circles getting herself tangled up and will litterally choak herself on a choak chain. In addition to this other people scare her which makes her snap so we'd have to muzzle her to walk her so others would be safe, and muzzling her makes her go crazy to the point that she'll bounce herself of walls. Which is why gonig to the vet's is so difficult, muzzling makes her nuts, restricting her in any way makes her panic, and snap .. she just struggles and struggles and struggles making any sort of procedures impossible without sedation.

The behaviourist also thought it would be unlike we'd ever house train or stop her chewing things because of her age, she'd never been taught how to behave and apparently once a dog get's to a certain age thier mindset is perminant.

she's not a nastie dog, i think if she was i could do what i know i should do which is put her to sleep, but she is Soooo loving you just have to go over to her pen and her tail wags and she's soo happy to see you, if she's in the house alone with me she's super great in that yes she's still a handful and still very very over exictable but she will come as sit with me on the couch and enjoy alittle attention.

Sadly all this means that she's lives in the back garden, we've built her a pen and she has a very warm kennel protected from the elements, but there is not a day that go's by that i don't feel guilty for leaving her out there especially as she's getting on in years and it's cold at this time of year.

UKTigerlily

leiela wrote: »

When we chose her at the rescue centre they told us that she'd come from an abusive home however at that time she seemed very timid, she was so adorable scared of everyone and everything.

she had sever internal bleeding when they found her and had not been fed in at least 3 weeks according the the worker and from what we were told was hours away from dying. The centre didn't let us take her home for 2 weeks after we'd chosen her and i just wanted to give her a home where she'd be loved.

Sadly the timid little dog did not last long, after about a week of bieng in my home she'd figured out we weren't gonig to abuse her and she became this unmanagable uncontrolllable ball of excitment. I mean seriously this dog doens't sleep, doens't sit down she is constently spinning.

After she destroyed about 6 peices of furnicher and bite my husband we tried to take her back to the centre, but they just said they'd have to put her down if she was "that unmanagable" they made me feel awful like i'd somehow failed by not even giving her a chance to settle. They convinced me to take her home and "give her time" which i did.

6 weeks later things had got worse not better, she destroyed everything she saw, she no longer even waited for us to leave the room before she began her distruction, disapline of no sort worked ... she chewed, poo'd and bounced everywhere bouncing sounds funny but she's a 25kg german shepard cross there is nothing small about her, you sit on the couch she bounces on the couch and on you, if you happen to be on in her way.

I rang them up again and again they said if i brought her in they would have to put her to sleep, back then i felt like the falure i was convinced that her behavious was somehow due to my lack of experienced, she's good natured just "extremly exictable" and i couldn't let them put her down because of my failure.

So i spent about £150 on puppie training lessons untill i was asked to leave because she was disupting the class, then i sort out a behaviourist but at £50 a session we ran out of money before we made any real progress.

About all we learn't was that her behavious was due to her past abuse, her aggession wasn't real aggeression but fear, she lashes out when she feels threatened, men in general terrify her the behaviourist thought it was a man who used to abuse her.

Children terrify her to the point that if there is a child in the room her tail go's down she whines and physically shakes. The behaviourist thinks this is something to do with the unpredicatable nature of kids, kids run around randomly they touch and poke and pull and she just can't handle kids, which of course was made worse when i got pregnant having only owned her for a few weeks.

We can't walk her because putting her on a lead makes her go crazy, she run's in circles getting herself tangled up and will litterally choak herself on a choak chain. In addition to this other people scare her which makes her snap so we'd have to muzzle her to walk her so others would be safe, and muzzling her makes her go crazy to the point that she'll bounce herself of walls. Which is why gonig to the vet's is so difficult, muzzling makes her nuts, restricting her in any way makes her panic, and snap .. she just struggles and struggles and struggles making any sort of procedures impossible without sedation.

The behaviourist also thought it would be unlike we'd ever house train or stop her chewing things because of her age, she'd never been taught how to behave and apparently once a dog get's to a certain age thier mindset is perminant.

she's not a nastie dog, i think if she was i could do what i know i should do which is put her to sleep, but she is Soooo loving you just have to go over to her pen and her tail wags and she's soo happy to see you, if she's in the house alone with me she's super great in that yes she's still a handful and still very very over exictable but she will come as sit with me on the couch and enjoy alittle attention.

Sadly all this means that she's lives in the back garden, we've built her a pen and she has a very warm kennel protected from the elements, but there is not a day that go's by that i don't feel guilty for leaving her out there especially as she's getting on in years and it's cold at this time of year.

Awww what a story, thanks for sharing it. And you must love her so much to have stuck by her, many many wouldn't. I'm sure you've tried & thought about all sorts of things, what is she fed? Have you tried changing her diet to other things? (Don't mean that to sound how it does, sorry, i'm sure you've thought of all of this & tried it all already!)

Was the behaviourist getting anywhere? I think i'd start by a full Vet check to rule out anything & making sure she's on good food (I'm sure you have done both) then maybe i'd even apply to Dog Borstal or something! I guess you have to start slow & think of one issue, not all at once.

It's definitely no life keeping her in the kennel, maybe you could home her to someone on a farm or something where she could run free outside in the day & be in their home at night? Again, i'm sure you've considered all of this by now. TBH, I think if it was my Dog & a Vet check ruled out health issues causing it, all foods tried didn't help & I couldn't keep a behaviourist or it wasn't working, i'd have to either rehome to a farm or no kids place, something like that, or have her PTS.

She will know you love her, and I understand why you don't want to. I'm not saying you should, only that I might have. Only you can decide what to do, but if I couldn't find a way to improve it i'd have to let her go, if she's inside she's scared, if outside cold & alone (Please don't think i'm saying you neglect her, sometimes online things come out wrong, but i'm really touched how much you love her & care for her. I just am sorta thinking out loud about what you could do that you might not have thought of)

Maybe you could have a behaviourist once a month maybe? Not sure if that'd work. It's a tough one!

fraz_babe

I also agree ! An animal is for life my three dogs are my babies. And they are part of the family. I could never part with them x

lowis

i am really shocked at how unprofessional the rescue centre have been with you - even if they were going to put the dog down if she was returned, they had no business telling you and guilt-tripping you.

your dog sounds like she has been mentally scarred - her life sounds difficult - but at least she gets to feel the warmth of love from you, it is obvious that despite everything, you care greatly for her.

foreign_correspondent

lowis wrote: »

i am really shocked at how unprofessional the rescue centre have been with you - even if they were going to put the dog down if she was returned, they had no business telling you and guilt-tripping you.

your dog sounds like she has been mentally scarred - her life sounds difficult - but at least she gets to feel the warmth of love from you, it is obvious that despite everything, you care greatly for her.

Yes, it is a sad story - however, thankfully most people who home rescue dogs do not have anything like this level of difficulty and many rescue dogs are ready made family pets (housetrained, good with kids etc)

But - the idea of doing your research applies just as much when you rescue as when you buy... (I know its easy to say in hindsight, and leiela, this is not a criticism in any shape or form!)

Some rescues are well established charities and generally spey/neuter all dogs, do home checks etc, others are run like pounds (all stray dogs come in via dog wardens, dogs are often available for rehoming at the end of their seven days, often unneutered, the level of back up may vary), some are enthusiastic individual, or a small group - who may be excellent, or may not. Some have kennels, others place dogs in family homes for fostering and assessment.

Ask rescues...

what is the history of the dog?

Has it been speyed, neutered, vaccinated, chipped etc?

What is it like with kids/other dogs/cats etc (depending on your needs!)

What can I do if this dog does not settle into my home well?

Do you offer any support?

What if I cant keep the dog for any reason? (the best rescues have a clause in the contract stipulating that the dog has to be returned to them)

Also if you have insurance, many policies will pay for a behavioralist, even if the rescue cannot - it is worth checking.