Child Maintenance (CSA) questions (merged)

hobo28

If it were me, I'd ask him why only £200. Of course he can choose to buy the kids clothes but he shouldn't be deducting that from your maintenance.

That said, no matter what the response, I wouldn't at this point go to the CSA as it could as jbbonce points out cause you more problems than its worth. Sometimes its the lesser of the two evils and only pick battles when you have to.

Sarahsaver

You are lucky you get anything from him :eek:
My ex is out of the country so he doesnt have to support the children he 'fathered'.

Zoetoes

Depends how you look at it, the kids clothes are part of the child support but if he's bought things they don't really need and it's instead of the money for something they do really need then it's not much good.

I think personally it should be that he's treated the kids to the clothes as he's treated his girlfriends kids to some and they are not his kids and paid less for his own.

I don't know whether he lives with his girlfriend and kids now but even if he does in the future, is he going to buy them some clothes and then say but there's less food for you this month, you won't be as warm, you can't have as many hot baths as last month and only half a sandwich in your packed lunch etc etc

I don't think you should go the CSA though, it won't help you much, if anything it could just make things bitter. Try talking to him about it.

Dazzieboo

I have done things amicably with my ex rather than involve the CSA and that was a result of the advise I got on here, I am now getting what the CSA would award me, and also some towards the mortgage which is still in joint names. My problem is his new partner who has contact the CSA behind our backs, but luckily they won't get involved unless he / me says so, if that would happen, I know I can say goodbye to good communication and regular payments. Avoid involving them at all costs.

kelloggs36

It really depends on how reliable the payer is. It isn't fair to change payments without discussing it first - if he wanted to pay for clothes, he should have said so first and then warned that he would be reducing the maintenance. The PWC may be relying on this money to pay household bills and may now not be able to do so. You need to have a discussion and make it clear that any agreement is a permenant one, and should only be changed by consent. If he refuses, then the only option is the CSA.

Acc72

I presume the ex has not got unlimited funds ....

Eg. he has £400 per month after all outgoings.

He usually pays you £300 per month but this month spent say £200 to you plus £100 on clothes (total £300) and £100 on the other kids clothes (i.e. no money left).

What was he supposed to do, buy the other kids their clothes and say to your kids - sorry, I give your mum money for clothes ?

The answer is I don't know - and neither do you ? - why don't you ask him ?

It seems to me that as he sees your kids a lot and he is also supporting his new partners kids that he is a nice sort of chap (I might be wrong).

Are you trying to punish him for finding a new partner ?

What happens if / when you find a new partner who will hopefully buy your kids things - will you give your ex a reduction in payments ??

findingmyownway

i think the issue here is he did it without telling you. if the kids needed clothes and you agreed he should spend £100 of his months payments on them then fair enough.
but just to buy them and then pay you less is not fair - he has effectivly forced YOU to buy them but he gets the credit from the kids.

you need to have a serious chat with him - either he pays you an agreed amount, on time, every month or you make him do it through the CSA.

Zoetoes

Acc72 wrote:

What was he supposed to do, buy the other kids their clothes and say to your kids - sorry, I give your mum money for clothes ?QUOTE]

Should he have bought someone else's kids clothes and paid less support for his own kids? And bear in mind the split was only 6 months ago so it's not like he's been with his girlfriend for that long to be 'playing dad' to her kids as much as his own if you know what I mean, yes it sounds great that he's nice to his girlfriends kids but he shouldn't be buying them stuff and then reducing the amount of support for his own kids.

For all he knew OP might have already spent some of her budget on the kids clothes and was relying on the CS to cover bills.

Zoetoes

findingmyownway wrote:

i think the issue here is he did it without telling you. if the kids needed clothes and you agreed he should spend £100 of his months payments on them then fair enough.
but just to buy them and then pay you less is not fair - he has effectivly forced YOU to buy them but he gets the credit from the kids.

you need to have a serious chat with him - either he pays you an agreed amount, on time, every month or you make him do it through the CSA.

Fully agree with this.

Bettyboop

I'm sorting having a problem with child support payments from my husband. We have been seperated for 3 months now and he has paid twice. He told me that he had set up a standing order but he hasn't. The money is not showing in my account either. He then said I may not get Child Support this month because he was not paid enough!!!!!!!!!as he overtime didn't go through in time. I'm not sure what I can do about this.....