Child Maintenance (CSA) questions (merged)

jockettuk

she might end up with nothing, some ex hubbys think what they giving is enough.. and sometimes what they giving is all they can afford but now and again they can help with other things like trips. school uniforms etc. why doesnt she explain to him that she is struggling to afford extras on what he gives her and mabey suggest he pays half sometimes to help with the extras, if she makes it sound like he is giving because he wants to rather than forced to as he will think if made to pay more they might come to a compromise.. know it works for me.

ALI1973

Awww how terrible, dont really know about what she should be entitled to (but then even that is never realistic is it?), perhaps she could ask him to pay for some of their extra curricular activities? that way he can see that its for his children benefit (im not suggesting otherwise, but men can be funny IYKWIM).

Does their Dad have a lot of contact with them?, maybe if he does his relationship with the boys would be better with them mentioning "that mum struggles for money sometimes" than it coming from Mum.

Hope it all works out for her.

Love Ali

Kimberley

Rachie_B wrote:

does he have other kids by a new relationship?

that would alter the figure

but £25 p/w for TWO kids is nothing as you say ,esp when she has to shell out for other clubs etc aswell!

my ex pays £30 p/w for my eldest son but when i was single mum (when we first split up) on benefits he had to pay £70 p/w !!! (through CSA)

he has 2 other children now my his current partner

hes pretty good though and will contribute towards school uniforms etc

He has no other children and lives with his new partner.

Kimberley

ALI1973 wrote:

Does their Dad have a lot of contact with them?, maybe if he does his relationship with the boys would be better with them mentioning "that mum struggles for money sometimes" than it coming from Mum.

As far as i know he see's them every two weekends, from Sat morning until Sunday I'm not totally sure though but i'll ask her for definate

I don't think it's nice to put the burden on her kids to ask

Kimberley

jockettuk wrote:

why doesnt she explain to him that she is struggling to afford extras on what he gives her and mabey suggest he pays half sometimes to help with the extras, if she makes it sound like he is giving because he wants to rather than forced to as he will think if made to pay more they might come to a compromise.. know it works for me.

Yeah thats a thought.

Rachie_B

well if he has a good job and no other kids whats he playing at only giving her ,begrudgingly (sp?)£25 p/w ?!!!

she may be better off going through the CSA if he refuses to pay more and let them assess it and decide what amount he should pay

not nice to have to do but if theres no other way and she really is struggling ? .............

chugalug

My ex told me I get enough through tax credits and CB to pay for his son. Bloody cheek!!! He pays £40 pw now cos I told him he'd have to pay £70 through the csa - he checked it out though to make sure I wasnt conning him!!

Kimberley

chugalug wrote:

My ex told me I get enough through tax credits and CB to pay for his son. Bloody cheek!!! He pays £40 pw now cos I told him he'd have to pay £70 through the csa - he checked it out though to make sure I wasnt conning him!!

Something to go on i guess. Mind you my ex pays the CSA £52 a week for my 3 :rolleyes:

Scarlett1

Kimberley wrote:

Something to go on i guess. Mind you my ex pays the CSA £52 a week for my 3 :rolleyes:

my ex pays that same amount for my daughter, I dont get that though as Im on IS so I only get £10 :rolleyes:

I think your friend should go the CSA route, it might help a little if she knows his wage so she go and do a calculation as he will be paying 20%, and if she mentions this to him it might give him a kick up the backside

jockettuk

CSA is one way but please bear in mind that once they involved it causes lots of heartache and hassles.. if things can be sorted out without there involvement will be a lot better. when the csa got involved in my case 6 yr ago it caused my ex a lot of extra costs that in the end he couldnt afford to see his daughter as often as he would like. I eventually got the CSA off his back and we have had a agreement since, he does pay for half her school trips etc but i have to give him plenty of notice abt them.. nothing is easy in a divorce/separation but the stress and tension the CSA cause isnt always worth the few extra pence you get if you get it