This is to anyone who is struggling with debt

neverindebtagain

Just a note if anyone considering br is reading this. When I started my br route in October 2008, it was overwhelming. I had been in debt for years and I owed £67,000. I had no idea it was this much and I felt sick when I added it up on my SOA. You will see in my earlier threads how it happened.
At the beginning the calls were consistent and the letters. When I went br it was a bit of an anti climax at first, thought I would instantly feel joy,but it has dawned on me slowly and I now feel like I a in someone elses life.
Five weeks on I can leave the phone plugged in and I just file any paperwork that may still be trickling through. I have my OR interview on 14th, but unsuprisingly I am not scared. I have done the hardest bit, and I am now on my way to taking control of my life. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would declare myself br, but after years of not being able to buy a proper food shop on a regular basis, I have today just returned from the supermarket. Everyone who is struggling, I urge you to take advice and if you, like me get offered a DMP for 26 years, post on here and get advice. I was contacted by CCCS through this forum who gave me the br helpline number. It may seem that your nightmare will never end, but take it from me it does get easier. I am nowhere near the end but I definitely feel that I am getting my life back. I dont reply very often because I do not feel experienced enough yet to give advise, but I do advise anyone struggling to carry on posting on this forum your worries. These guys are brilliant.

I have come to the conclusion that bad things may happen to you but something good will come from something bad. I think that every day and thats what gets me through it. I thought I would be living with out of control debt for the rest of my life. I thank the judge for approving my br, I actually thanked the OR for helping me and I especially thank for husband for staying by my side.:T

brightonbelle62

What a lovely post, thank you:D

I declared myself BR on 14/11/08 and can honestly say I wish I'd done it sooner. I no longer dread opening the post or answering the post. We didn't have a lot for Christmas but still had a lovely time with family and true friends. Best of all, I don't have a pile of bills to catch up on for the New Year........

All in all I'm so glad I got this far and know I couldn't have done it without all the great advice and support on here...... To anyone thinking about BR, what's the worst that can happen?? You won't be able to get credit again..................... hurray:T As long as you keep what's important (the people in your life who make you happy) what does it matter??

Jubbly1868

Thank you for those posts. i was feeling really low last night and this morning about prospect and stigma of declaring br. You have lifted my spirits and given me some courage to take the plunge.
Im particularly nervous about finding somewhere to live with OH & our mutts and was worrying about losing the house. Someone said to me earlier "a house is just the bricks and mortar... A home is the people & animals that you love in it". This helped me realise that it doesnt really matter where we end up as long as we are together. And anything has got to be better than this constant worry about the postman coming (we live in crescent and you can see him walking round!!!)... those blasted phone calls, even v.early in the morning and I am particularly fed up of always trying to work my finances out from an overdraft. Oh to be in credit would be soooo wonderful!!!

neverindebtagain

Did it take time to sink in.

I went br on friday 5th dec 08, saturday I got up and felt a bit flat, sunday I felt a bit better, guilt was with me for a quite a while. Christmas happened and I was more select on what I bought and went for bargains, all paid with debit card or cash. Yes no bills to pay.:D

The realisation has happened since the start of this year. I kept checking to see if the phone was actually plugged in because nobody rang me, one day we got no post and I thought he must have forgotten me. My husband jokingly said that the postman would think something was wrong as I had nothing. My life has changed so much in 5 weeks, I am not constantly on the internet banking, ringing to pay bills, checking my diary for what is due out or going through the file of bills that are due. I come in from work, have tea with deal or no deal, watch Emmerdale, bath and bed. All without having debt in my head. I got the biggest shock yesterday morning when I went to sleep at 10.30 pm and woke at 5.30 am. Seven hours straight sleep, I seriously cannot remember the last time that happened.

I face a year where I may have to help my husband through br due to low wages in the building industry. I do not know what will happen with cars, house, IPA's. But what I do know is that I could not go on living (I correct myself it was barely existing) the way I was. So anything has to be better than the last 6 or more years.

When the clock struck midnight on New Years Eve I said two things, in 2009 I will be 40 (you know what they say, life begins at 40) and I will be discharged from my br:j .

neverindebtagain

Dear Jubbly, I never thought I would ever consider br, it was only when in October I was at home as my days went down at work that for a few minutes I got a bit of courage and I rang CCCS which eventually after a few weeks led me to ringing the the court and booking my date. The next few weeks were hard as I had so many creditors and they were ringing etc, I also could not understand some of the questions on the SOA. I put every question that came to me on here, I rang the CCCS br helpline for help with the forms and I got a lovely lady that helped me.

I told my in laws, my mother in law came with to the court. I had lied to my husband for years about the debt and I did not want him to witness me going br even though he wanted to come, I had cost him enough money so I did not want him to take the day off.

I cried so much that day, it felt like I was grieving. I have a picture of myself and my mother in law on that night, I look dreadful but it is a reminder of not just that day but everything I went through in the years before that brought me to the lowest point of my life.

I have kept all my old diaries which has all my calculations in of who and when and how to pay. My husband says burn them but they are a reminder of a place I will never go to again.

Good luck with your decision, I was in a very lonely place when I was in debt, this site will help you. Thank you Martin Lewis:A

dalip

Thanks NIDA:D I can only echo everything you have written above. I still have my diaries too with a long long list of outgoings and only one entry for incommings:o . Yes i am keeping mine too just to remind me of how bad its was lest i should ever forget;) . I really hope all goes ok with our OH,as like mine things are stable at the moment but who knows what is around the corner.All the best and thanks for that insight i am sure it will help many posters.Dx

fiveyearplan

I also echo everything said above. I wish you a wonderful 2009 NIDA. May your cupboards be full and plenty of people/pets to share it with.

peachyprice

(((((((((((((:heart2: ))))))))))))
Bless you NIDA

Jubbly1868

Thank you all, especially NIDA.
I didnt realise you were living such a parallel life to me. Thought we would get by this month and just received £99 vet bill and also sump gone on car and leaking oil - quote £260 - £292. Im sorry but I have to ask WHY US!
That aside, I have some health probs that lead me to spend money when I am high or down and I realised today that I was out shopping just so that I didnt have to return home. Trouble was, i was just spending money we dont have!
Like you last year (!), Ive just spend last 2hours working out what DD's come out when, how we wont be able to pay them, when do huge bank charges come out, should we cancel DD's and worry bout them later blah blah blah... I take strong meds at night but I still cannot remember the last night of full sleep. I also cant remember an occasion when I havent walked round the house clutching either finance info, bank statements, calculator and headache!!! In fact must go to bed now and take the extra strong, make your head spin pill the docs have just given me so thanks again to all of you. The forum really is giving me hope as there is so much more than just guilt over debt going on with me that OH doesnt understand...Ive been in some pretty dark places but wish I'd known about this forum then... Nite all x

startagain_2

Thank you so much for posting this NIDA :T

When a person is struggling with debt to the extent that a lot of us are/were, there doesn't seem to be a way out - just deeper and deeper.....

When a solution is offered, such as BR, it really can be a lifeline ( literally) for a great many people - I was one of those too.....

I am so pleased that you are in a much better place now, and with everything and everyone where they should be!

This forum gives the advice and support to guide us along .... thanks to everyone on here as well ..... especially the "experts" ...
You know who you are

SA

jellygirl_2

Thanks for a really hearwarming post:) I will be br sometime in the next few months - I feel like my life is on hold, upside down etc - but its got to be done - thanks for the encouragement:)