want to go out to ceroc dancing but the other

Deals_2

half who does not fancy coming out dancing with me as says too many sleezy men is telling me he will split up with me if i go and learn to dance. who is being silly here? me or him. is this normal? i have not seen any sleezy people as he says and asked a couple of girlfriends if they want to gootherwise. who is being silly here..? i think my other half should get counselling for being so insecure when i love him anyway!!! but entitled to go and learn a dance and go out for at least one night whether he wants to come with me or not (by the way he is going out himself!!!)!!! am i naive or is he insecure..?

Jasper27_2

If he can't cope you with you going to a class without him then he's got a real problem with insecurity. Why is it OK for him to go out without you but not for you to do the same? How do you know he isn't seeing "sleazy" people when he's out without you?

You really need to to talk to him about why he is so insecure. If this fails go out without him. So he leaves you, he doesn't sound like much of a loss if he's preapred to end a relationship over something so petty.

sloughflint

Not nice at all that he resorted to an ultimatum but he could do with seeing it for himself. You could both go the once and he could watch if uncomfortable dancing.
Not sleazy at all ( round here anyway).He might even join in when he sees how it works.If not at least he'd be more comfortable with you going along in future.

Thinking about it a bit more. I wonder if it is just this particular event that he's unhapy with or a wider problem. Only you know the answer to that.

Pollycat

I think his attitude here

is telling me he will split up with me if i go and learn to dance.

is way out of order.

However, why are YOU so insistent that HE accompanies you to Ceroc?
Do you want to learn to dance or is this a way you see both of you doing something together?
If it's the latter, why not pick something that your OH would be happy to do?
Unless, as sloughflint asks, there's something much more wrong with your relationship.
Does he have any reason to mistrust you when you're out on your own?

I don't think anyone can answer your question

am i naive or is he insecure..?

because nobody (only you two) knows the full picture.

wannabe_sybil

What time out of the house do you get? I mean, by yourself, down time? You do need something. Dancing is excellent fun and a good way of getting fit. Unless you have regularly paraded a string of lovers picked up at dance classes he is being completely unreasonable.

Actually, I suggest you try going for few sessions then see if he calms down or comes with you as 'chaperone.

If he is really throwing teddy out of the pram, I do think a few sessions with relate may be useful as stopping a partner going out can be a bit iffy and you need to work together to make sure that you are both happy. It seems very unfair that he can go out but you cannot. Have you asked him what he suggests that you do for your night out? Insist on one, as it is only fair and then see what he suggests. I think his response will tell you a great deal about whether he is just nervous that you pick up Brendon from Strictly Come Dancing or whether he is trying to control you and make sure that you are kept firmly under his influence, or any shade in between.

I hope this helps.

sloughflint

It's impossible to tell whether his comment was just one of those extreme outrageous things that you say in the heat of the moment in a blazing row just from one post.

I think OP should go regardless. It's one of those things that you can do as a couple or go on your own or as a group of friends.The beauty of it is you don't need a dance partner.

Once the air has cleared, as I suggested before, maybe she should ask him to come just the once and prop up the bar.

Op,it would be unfair of him to prevent you from doing something you might enjoy. You need trust in a relationship but at the same time I could understand him being concerned if he has preconceived ideas.
Hope you both work it out.