benefits for 82 yr old mother

fizzel81

if ive got the right end of the stick id be embarrased to take that much from my dad and then want extra on top

parents bring up ther children and in return we should do the same for them when they can no longer do it all themselves

Limana68

Yes thats right, we get the Tv license free as my mum is 79 and lives with us.

briona

woof wrote: »

My 82 year old mother lives with us and I feel that we should be receiving something towards her care. Don't get me wrong, we do this gladly and feel that she contributes to our family in many ways. However had she not come to live with us she would be in an old folks home, paid for by the government as she has no savings and only receives a reduced state pension topped up by pension credit. Yes she gets the fuel allowance which she passes on to us and which we do use for heating oil as she needs more heat than we would normally use. The only other "benefit" we get is a free TV licence!!!
Can anyone suggest any avenues that perhaps I can pursue?
many thanks
Woof

Dare I ask how many years YOU lived with your mother without contributing to HER household...? And yet here you are, charging her £80pw to live with you (and apparently that doesn't even include meals!), whilst ensuring that you benefit from HER winter fuel payment and HER free TV licence...

At 82, one can assume that your mother is unlikely to have 18 years of life left (probably the minimum amount of time you were supported by her) and yet rather than be grateful that you still have her in your life, you're whinging about how you don't get any benefits for putting up with her and saving the Government money...?! Christ! All I can say is I'm glad I'm not related to you! :eek:

margaretclare

Well, she could live for another 18 years - many more people are seeing their 100th birthday now than a generation or two ago.

We see this question asked time and again, in one form or another. 'We should be able to claim something - we can't claim...' People imagine there is some benefit or other that they can claim for every possible eventuality.

Maybe Mum would be better off living in sheltered accommodation where she'd get her rent and council tax paid. She'd then only have to feed and clothe herself and pay for water, heat and light. As it is she has to pay £80 a week rent.

TAZ

well i think the OP is generous, i know of a lady that lives with her daughter and she and another lady over 80 pay the daughter a total of 350 per week and then the mother pays for phone as extra, both ladies receive Attendance allowance and this is going towards paying the board amount, the household get a free tv licence and one winter allowance so i think they have it quite cushdy

Oldernotwiser

TAZ wrote: »

well i think the OP is generous, i know of a lady that lives with her daughter and she and another lady over 80 pay the daughter a total of 350 per week and then the mother pays for phone as extra, both ladies receive Attendance allowance and this is going towards paying the board amount, the household get a free tv licence and one winter allowance so i think they have it quite cushdy

They must have a lot of private income; Attendance Allowance is only 60 odd a week.

calleyw

TAZ wrote: »

well i think the OP is generous, i know of a lady that lives with her daughter and she and another lady over 80 pay the daughter a total of 350 per week and then the mother pays for phone as extra, both ladies receive Attendance allowance and this is going towards paying the board amount, the household get a free tv licence and one winter allowance so i think they have it quite cushdy

Generous is not the word I would use. Ripping your mother off is what I would call it.

All I can say is the mother and the other woman are fools then. If there caring duties involved then it is a little bit different and external agency should be used. But it sounds as if the daughter if you can all her that, is using them as lodgers to make money. As that amounts to £18k for the two for the year. They could rent somewhere for cheaper that to together and still pay out less and might even get some help with rent and council tax. The bills are never £18K for a normal run of the mill house. Someone is taking the pee.

I have a 3 bedroom house and there are only two of us living here. My mum is 63 and able to cook and clean etc. So if she had to come and live with me for what ever reason I should make her pay me £175 a week for the pleasure of living in my house. I would some profit off my bills and get to keep all my wages.

What ever happened to the extended family and looking after someone because they are family and you love them.

Yours


Calley

woof_3

Perhaps I wasn't clear. The £80pw rent etc was an illustration of what it would cost if my mother lived on her own NOT what she gives me!!! Margaretclare seems to get my point that with housing costs covered by housing benefit and council tax benefit (if she lived on her own) paid for by the government she would have enough money left for the rest of the neccessities she would need. The government is relying on families sense of love, loyalty and responsibility to keep the elderly in the community cheaply. As with many of you I do not feel right taking money from her other than the winter fuel payment and £20pw towards housekeeping.
We did move to a larger house (and now have a larger mortgage) so that my mother could live with us, we installed an ensuite shower room in her bedroom so she does not need to climb the stairs to the bathroom during the night. We moved to a different town to get this house so that she would still be close to her church and friends and community. My husband and I now commute an hour each way to work. My daughter had to change schools and make new friends. We did and continue to do all of this gladly I DO NOT want extra! Only what we or mum is legally entitled to.
ps. Even though I do care for my mum I cannot, it seems, apply for attendence allowance as I get £10pw more than the limit.

Ms_Chocaholic

It is your mum who applies for the attendance allowance.

It is carers allowance you must be referring to when you say you earn £10 more than the limit.

woof_3

Thanks for clarifying that.
Perhaps I've been posting to the wrong forum?
The blurb for this one suggested that well informed members of the public including advice workers routinely answered queries posted here.
The majority of posts,however, have misunderstood my original post and have been quite negative so maybe this is the piont where this particular thread should end.

My thanks to those of you are in a similar position and who seem to understand my query. Also to those of you who have suggested attendence/carers allowance.

bye