Well deserved rant i think...

ells888

I have 2 dd's, and up until Sept 07 i thought i had a perfect marriage. My husband left me saying he 'needed space', i carried on looking after my children hoping that things would sort themselves out. In Dec 07 i had a note pushed through my letterbox letting me know that my husband had been playing around for years behind my back, with anyone who walked passed him really and had weekly meetings with a prostitute. (The woman who posted this had been blackmailing him a while) When i confronted him he admitted everything .... and more including he had had another child and had been seeing him and paying for him from day one.

Obviously i was gutted but from that moment i decided to start again for my dd's, im only 27 and have a life time ahead of me?

Anyway, long story short... we got had the quickest, least painful divorce ever, dealt with everything amicably, even the care of the children. I

So, a year and so on he has gone from paying regular maintanence to hit and miss payments, turning up when he likes, basically doing what he likes. He has in this time, got a new girlfriend and bought a 4 bed new home in an expensive village got 2 flash cars....while i am stil in the home we bought together struggling to pay the mortgage, bills, hold down a job (struggling cause of childcare) etc etc..... Anyway the reason for my moan....

He had the kids just 1 day over christmas, then the day after he flew to thailand for 3 weeks, before he went he assured me my payment would go into the bank.....obviously it hasnt, i am so mad that he has treated me like crap for the last 9 years, and even now we arent together he can still carry on. I have contacted his mum, but she just claims it is none of her business.......aaarrrrrggghhhhhhh! Sorry its so longwinded x

gemz20

Oh really feel for you he sounds like a very selfish man if he is doing all this for himself and not providing for his children have you been onto csa so you can get them to get regular payments for you off him

MaximumImpact

Karma my dear, Karma.....What goes around, comes around...At least you have kept your dignity!!!

My suggestion is that you get a good solicitor or speak to the CAB. Find out your rights and where you stand financially...after all if the children are suffering or mising out because of this then it needs to be sorted!!

Wouldnt bother with his mother, after all sons can do no wrong..(my ex MIL was the !!!!! from hell)

Good luck

xxx

Fourcandles_3

Oh hun. (((Big HUGS)))

Hopefully someone will be able to offer practical advice but I just wanted to say you rant away all you like. His behaviour is appalling.

ells888

its a weird situation really.... a few months ago he told me that he had walked away from the stress of his business and left it to his business partner, so he has a job now...in the same trade, but he has never declared to tax man so i would get nothing through the csa??

ells888

im sat crying and typing, but just wanted to say thanx a lot, feel like its not me... like he makes it out to be. he now has 4 kids to 3 different women and its likely the current gf will be pregnant too x

gemz20

oh think you should go cab especially if you no he is working and not declaring it to see where you stand as to claiming child maintanance and proving he is in work

cazziebo

Sounds a proper A**e! You are obviously far too good for him :T :T so congratulations on a lucky escape.

Rant away all you like - you are perfectly entitled to. Sounds as if you have your life sorted, you've got the measure of the ex so no further disappointments there, and you have your daughters. You've got a whole life in front of you.

Can't help you with the CSA etc but don't believe parents should be able to walk away from their responsibilities. Having said that, don't let it eat you up. Put the processes in place to pursue him, but keep the balance you obviously have. The Child Support board should help.

You are far richer than he will ever be..rich in what's really important.

ells888

You are so right cazziebo, i had a lucky escape, and my kids have definatly kept me going every single day, he is an !!!! and never deserved what he had, i hope what goes around comes around some day x

Savvy_Sue

MOVING THREADS FOR BETTER RESPONSES

Hi, Martin’s asked me to post this in these circumstances: I’ve asked Board Guides to move threads if they’ll receive a better response elsewhere (please see this rule) so this post/thread has been moved to the Child Support board, where it should get more replies. If you have any questions about this policy please email [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL].

I think you're fully entitled to your rant, and although the financial support isn't the only thing you have to rant about, you may get the most practical advice over there.

Mutter_2

Ells, he has the flash cars, holidays and all such trash.
You have your precious girls.