some advice for friend

dipsy

ok bit complicated

split up from my husband 9 yrs ago, - not really relevant lol

husband & his partner fiance live together in what was his house for 7 years prior to her moving in - about 18 months ago

They are not getting on, and to be fair I am on her side in all of this, won't go into details but suffice to say he is making her feel very inadequate and is apparently lying to her all the time - in his defence I never had him down as a liar.

anyway we get on and she wants to meet for a chat as she feels she has no one to talk to - she has announced her name is on the mortgage and she wants to get her name back off as she can't seem them lasting - don't know how long at this stage her name has been on the mortgage or if bills are in his/her name etc.

Whilst I want to offer her good advice for her situation - she lived with her parents prior to moving in with him and I suspect that is where she will initally go back to - I am also concerned that if she has rights to his house that he will have to sell, which is our childrens home when he has them (every other weekend).

I am totally torn, I think he has been a pig, but have to also think of my children.

Anybody got any sensible advice on how to approach this?

thanks

Errata

I wouldn't touch this with a mile long bargepole ! It's a domestic - you'll end up getting battered by both sides.

dipsy

I hear what you are saying, and I think you are right

will she have a full claim on his house?

belfastgirl23

I think be upfront with her and tell her your first consideration is always your kids and the impact on them. I'd soften it by talking about how they will miss her etc but also mention that you would be worried about the house and really can't talk to her about that because you feel you're torn in two different directions...

Honesty is usually the best policy and no one will ever blame someone for putting their kids first...and odds are you can still help her by letting her vent a bit. Refer her to this website as well if you're really worried about the practicalities....

LISSILEIGH

i know that if you have children under 16 that are living with you, you cant be forced to sell the house. so you may have to get on your husbands side (sorry ex) and see if them staying there on weekends is enough for him not to be forced to sell.

at the end of the day your children come first, i know your friends with her. the other thing is, the hosuing market is not in the best state at the moment so it might not sell anyway

Krystaltips

If he owned the house for a long time before she came on the scene then he might be able to give her a nominal amount to pay her off and have her removed from the mortgage.

It's not really up to you to advise her on it, I'd tell the ex to see a solicitor first...

dipsy

would she be entitled to force him to sell then?

dipsy

its a bit of a mess really, I can't believe he put her on the mortgage after so little time together........ still I suppose they both thought it would work out for them.....

thanks for all your advice x

Krystaltips

If he can afford to buy her out with savings or a loan or a remortgage etc then there would be no need for him to sell... It just depends how much she would want really, bearing in mind he owned the house before she came along, presumably the house was valued when her name went on the mortgage so it might just be a case of seeing how much in value it has changed since then and splitting it down the middle...

Susan_Frost

Dont know, but would suggest she would only have a share of the value between being put on the mortgage and now. Which has probably dropped. If it is his kids home, then the courts would probably want to put them first anyway.

If she is unhappy what is stopping her from leaving. If no equity gained, then I think she would only have to sign to say she agrees to being taken off the mortgage again. But your ex would probably have to show he can afford it on his own as the mortgage people will re-allocate the mortgage.

Please dont say they have borrowed money against it - otherwise that probably complicates everything.

If she "bought into it" rather than was just put on the mortgage, she will probably want back out what she has put in.

Any running bills can be split cos they have both used stuff, but then just changed to his name.

Depends what she is wanting. If it is just out, it should be relatively simple.

Cannot see ex saying she has to stay on the mortgage as she could probably then go to court to say it has to be sold if they seperate, I presume he would not want that.

dipsy

thanks for all your advice, I will leave them to it and hope it all works out for the best.....