Help Please For Daughter Struggling. Advice So Welcome

chalky_75

Hope you dont mind me asking for advice on behalf of my daughter. I will be as brief as possible but she needs help and that is having an impact on OH and me
Right.
She is 28 .
Just trying to get over break up of a relationship.
She left her job in pub management ( very stressful and long hours )
She has started to retrain as a Beauty Therapist.

She has a fantastic work ethic BUT is really struggling which is making it hard emotionally and practically for us.
WE are retired but not on old age pension yet.
Our youngest daughter lives at home and pays £150 in rent and we feel it is only fair for the other daughter to do the same.


She has £2000 saved plus £800 in an ISA . Her car is very old and she does need it for work and college so needs some money which she has saved as a cushion for car bills etc.

s=She attends college 3 days a week and is loving it and getting 100% in exams etc
So she earns the following £96 a week from 2 days work a week.
She also gets approx £55 from working 2 nights a week in a bar.

Her expenses are £50 a week in petrol.
£30 a month for all gym,swimming and exercise classes a month and to be fair she has recently lost 2 stone and has very little other social life cos of money and relationship break up. Her self esteem has gone up and she is much fitter.
Obviously she also has to buy food ( we are in Spain for long periods )with her younger sister but the £150 rent money covers everything else bill wise and I do leave the freezer stocked
She has to buy things for her course and other usual incidentals
So it seems like she has under £ 20 a week to live on without taking the rent into account.
THE COURSE GOES ON UNTIL 2010!!

So is she entitled to any benefits to help her or has anyone got any advice.

Thank you I would be more than willing to give any more info

Kimonokawaii

Well...my advice will be pretty basic as I'm new to this but I am in a similar situation.

I'm 25, broke up with my partner, lost my job, moved back in with parents 80 miles away from my friends and have £36k debts. I have a new job but I don't start for another month.

Firstly - do the budget planner, if nothing else it's impossible to forget anything and the maths will be right, it's methodical and can be saved and updated.

I have lost 1 stone and pay membership to weight watchers and a gym...this is my only social life. I know no-one here.

I have cancelled weight watchers and the gym saving me £45 a month...I asked my family to buy me a wii fit board for xmas (£90) I weight myself, track progress, set goals, build up exercise time to unlock new exercises and have fun!

I am also joining weight wins. You pay £35 to register then you set your weight loss goal. Weight win calculate a safe and healthy time limit to lose the weight. If you meet the target they reward you with a cheque! I want to lose 5 stone, I have been given 10 months. If I make it I will get £400. Once a month I weigh-in with my doctor and submit the signed form by post to weight wins.

I totally understand the social life and self esteem issue as I suffer from depression but there are other ways.

Good luck to your daughter! If she wants to get in touch with me I'll gladly chat to her by email or msn.

Cinny91

Is there any chance of her being able to get a weekly bus pass? Might be better for her than using the car atm.

Of course it's only fair that she pays the same as your other daughter, but I'm sure she'll understand if your older daughter pays less? Like in my family, me and my sister pay £20 a week, where as my brother pays £40. But he is earning twice as much as us.

ElizabethJH

£150 rent is already very cheap for your daughter that is paying - you are already doing her a favour as it would cost her a lot more to live elsewhere. I'm sure she doesn't begrudge your other daughter paying nothing - I certainly wouldn't

Kimonokawaii

I was just thinking that maybe she could offer cut price treatments to friends and family while she trains?

Also, is it possible to reduce petrol costs by improving efficiency...keeping tyres inflated, removing all additional weight from the car, only half filling the tank to save weight, petrol loyalty schemes(?), sticking to speed limits...

I stuck to all speed limits including motorway for one month and saved quater of a tank compared to my usual driving of 35-40 in a 30 zone, 80 on a motorway...nothing excessive!

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future

How about looking at each daughter in a % of their take home pay...

£150 is a lot for your daughter who is studying, but may not be a lot for your other daughter, who may take home £1500 per month?

RAS

I think the more relevant issue is what sort of impact is it having on your financial situation havig two adult children with low income and contributions living at home.

Maybe you need to put up an SOA and work out if you can afford to support them?

Silverbird

Gloomy_Past_Bright_Future wrote: »

How about looking at each daughter in a % of their take home pay...

£150 is a lot for your daughter who is studying, but may not be a lot for your other daughter, who may take home £1500 per month?

I was just about to post this myself.

When I was working full-time I paid £35 a week. When my sister started working part-time my Dad worked out what it was in percentage that I was paying when compared to my 'take-home pay' and then he applied the same percentage to my sister's wages and did it that way. This is far more 'fair' and makes more sense.

At the end of the day your other daughter is better off and could get her own place (presumably), whereas this daughter cannot. If your other daughter doesn't like it, then she can get her own place and pay much, much, much higher rent!

Kimonokawaii

RAS wrote: »

I think the more relevant issue is what sort of impact is it having on your financial situation havig two adult children with low income and contributions living at home.

Maybe you need to put up an SOA and work out if you can afford to support them?

Hmmm....very good idea :money:

sarahs999

Does she not get any kind of student loan or training allowance?

Horace

Can she get some part time bar work whilst she is training? It will certainly help.