Wills and step families.

*Chattie*

I'm not sure what your annoyance of other people and inheriting has to do with the OP, she has a disabled child whose "needs must come first".

aliasojo

Ok guys, this is a serious question about a serious subject that is causing me some worry. What people feel is 'morally' right isn't of use to me, simply because we all have our own views on what we feel is right.

Can I respectfully ask you to not go off on a tangent about what bothers you personally? I hope you dont think I'm being rude but I need any/all factual/serious advice and I'd hate for this thread to escalate into a full blown moral discussion.

It's definitely an interesting and thought provoking subject but please could the opinions about rights etc be made elsewhere?

Errata

HTH.....As neither of you have made wills yet, you have a golden opportunity to sit down together and have a thoroughgoing discussion about what would be best for everyone concerned. Of course, there will be some things you disagree about but perhaps sensible negotiations and compromises would achieve a satisfactory solution.
If that doesn't happen, then both of you could separately invest in some advice from a solicitor who specialises in family law and is skilled at drawing up watertight wills which both of you would be satisfied with.
I would guess that the largest asset is the house so it would be sensible to make sure you are Tenants in Common not Joint Tenants - this is something that can be sorted out quickly, easily and cheaply. Tenants in Common means that you both own outright a percentage of the house - usually 50/50 but it can be any other percentages you both agree on. This will allow each of you to leave your share of the property to whoever you wish.
The most important thing to remember is that either of you can make a will and change it at any time without telling the other.

seven-day-weekend

If in the dreadful event of my being widowed, and then in the extremely unlikely event of my wanting to marry again, I have already decided that what I would do is sign my house over to my son BEFORE I re-married (with a proviso that I could continue to live in it as long as I wished) and then there would be no house for me to leave to anyone.

I would not want someone else's family to get what my husband and I had worked for together. When we no longer need it, it belongs to OUR son, imho.

Of course everyone has their own thoughts and preferences on this, and everyone has the right to do as they see fit with their own property.

That is what I have decided.
.

localhero

Aliasjo,

Sorry, I overlooked the fact you had a child with disabilities. In which case I would suggest that a discretionary trust would be suitable so that your child's eligibility for benefits isn't compromised.

Your situation is a job for a specialist, not any old high street solicitor. As a useful starting point, I would suggest contacting STEP who must undertake exams to demonstrate their expertise in this field.

http://www.step.org/showarticle.pl?id=110;n=2500

whitewing

I have only had time to read the original post, and not the replies.

I married DH in Aug 08 and we are sorting out wills. DH got step-parental responsibility for DS in Sep 08.

I was told at the solicitors that most people leave to their husband and trust him to sort out the children fairly. DH loves his step-DS but I still felt quite surprised and upset at the thought, even though I do trust DH. I guess I kind of lumped thoughts of my death with how I would want to protect DS in the event of divorce (no intention of either death or divorce at this early stage!).

DH had no problem with anything. I did a lot of thinking and decided to trust that DH and DS would be fine. I was mainly concerned that DH would get married again and his new wife would have a problem with DS. But I've not got much anyway, so decided to have some faith in humankind. I think I've done the right thing for me.

Baggysdad

If in the dreadful event of my being widowed, and then in the extremely unlikely event of my wanting to marry again, I have already decided that what I would do is sign my house over to my son BEFORE I re-married (with a proviso that I could continue to live in it as long as I wished) and then there would be no house for me to leave to anyone.

There is are a couple of potential flaws in this plan.

If your son already owns a home, then when you give him your home, he will become the proud owner of a second home. And when he sells his second home, either because you have passed on, or maybe you are still alive and he needs to pay off his ex wife if he gets divorced, or maybe he needs to pay off his creditors if he has a failed business, he will have to pay capital gains tax on any increase in value in his second home.

There is also the issue that you might change your mind about carrying out your plan, under the influence of the charming gigolo who is now the light of your new life:D

Better plan is to follow the advice in the first post from localhero - which solves all of these problems.

seven-day-weekend

Baggysdad wrote: »

There is are a couple of potential flaws in this plan.

If your son already owns a home, he doesn't then when you give him your home, he will become the proud owner of a second home.he won't, see above And when he sells his second home, either because you have passed on, or maybe you are still alive and he needs to pay off his ex wife if he gets divorced, or maybe he needs to pay off his creditors if he has a failed business, he will have to pay capital gains tax on any increase in value in his second home.no second home - he lives in the house already

There is also the issue that you might change your mind about carrying out your plan, under the influence of the charming gigolo who is now the light of your new life:D

Better plan is to follow the advice in the first post from localhero - which solves all of these problems.

Thank you, I appreciate what you have said and I am aware of potential marital/.financial problems (although at the moment my son is not married (never has been) and has no debt). He lives in the house already because his dad and I live in Spain. However, were I to be left a widow, I would probably be sharing the house with him, if his circumstances are the same as they are at the moment.

The house would be his, I don't mind what he does with it after I've shuffled off this mortal coil.

I'm pretty sure I would not change my mind - my husband worked hard for that house, so did I, and we would want it to go to his and my children, not someone else's.

Although obviously I would take legal advice first. I had wondered whether making it tenants-in-common (myself and my son) would be better.

sloughflint

whitewing wrote: »

I was told at the solicitors that most people leave to their husband and trust him to sort out the children fairly.

That's interesting.

Here's a scenario that crossed my mind somewhere else on this forum and your post reminded me of it.

What if you sadly died and left all to your husband. Your husband eventually remarried so his old Will became invalid. What if he was a bit slow in getting himself organised to having a fresh Will written ( with the intention of including your son) and sadly died.
Wouldn't intestacy laws mean that your son gets nothing?

If my thinking is correct, shouldn't solicitors be talking through potential problems rather than merely dish out some statistics?

isayoldchap

My father, who has four sons from his previous marriage, has included in the joint will with his wife(my mother), that a small gift of about £20 for each son from his previous marriage ,is left to them.Also he signed a letter that was asked to be included with the will
sighting that the children(now adults)may no efforts in making contacts over many years to which he has come to the decision to leave them a pittance.

I had no idea that they were entitled to anything.That's why I was surprised to read this in 'This is Money'

A will is a much easier way of making it clear where everyone stands. Stepchildren can contest a will on the grounds that as dependants a reasonable provision has not been made for them. If someone makes it clear in their will why they are not leaving anything to a stepchild, it is often easier for the matter to be dealt with. When the children have grown into adults, it is increasingly difficult to contest a will.'


The company I used has since ceased trading and another company has taken over.