Wills and step families.

aliasojo

Hope this isn't too personal a query but for those who are 'second' families..........how have you decided your will? Have you made your new partner your main beneficiary or your children?

How have you addressed the issue of older children's rights compared to your partner's and any children of the new relationship, especially if the older children from a previous marriage and your partner sometime have an uneasy relationship, yet all still live together?

I'm embarrassed to admit to not having a will and it's something I intend to tackle this year. However I have no idea how I would ensure fairness to my eldest two (one of whom has disibilities and is dependant on me) and my OH of 11 years (but not married) and our daughter. I dont have much worth but we do own our house. I have no idea how I could ensure my OH would always be fair to eldest 2 if I was no longer around, yet I would also want my OH and daughter to be ok too. I would like to think everyone would be fair to each other but I dont have that much faith in human nature if I'm honest. It's giving me a headache.

sandiep

I'm here too! I keep asking my hubby what he wants in his will, and he says "you decide". Which tbh i don't feel is really my place, seeing as the extra children have legally nothing really to do with me.

Mine is easy, it will be house to hubby, 50% rest to hubby & 50% between my children, and prob a specific cash gift to the step children. (The rest is basically a life insurance policy, and i've set this at an amount that i know will give my girlies a good start in life).

I think you have to assume that fairness may not be present, and so if you have specific wishes you set these in stone. We've all read Cinderella, and nasty stepmothers do stir the family pot.

You also must plan for worse case, which is you and partner dying at the same time. If you have a dependent child who do you want looking after them, and what financial resources will they need to do so. I know that either of the two people I would want my children growing up with would mean in both circumstances moving house or building extensions etc. Big costs which i need to ensure would be covered, it would be a stressfull enough situation without the added complications of financial problems.

aliasojo

sandiep wrote: »

I think you have to assume that fairness may not be present, and so if you have specific wishes you set these in stone. We've all read Cinderella, and nasty stepmothers do stir the family pot.

That aspect never even crossed my mind tbh. I obviously have a lot to consider.

Mojisola

One of the problems with step-families is that if you die and leave everything to the OH, he/she could get another OH and then die and all your money could be left to the new OH who will have no committment to your children so you can't rely on thinking that "everyone would be fair to each other".

Errata

I think you need to think very clearly about this, and it may be worth you buying an hour's worth of advice with a solicitor who specialises in family law.
Your OH may be committed to being fair to all your children, but should you die first and he marry and then divorce wife number two and any children they may have may force him into a situation not envisaged at the moment by either of you.
HTH

TFD_2

My dad is a nasty piece of work and his will leaves everything (probably £1M all in) to his partner, which will then in turn be left to her daughter.

This means nothing gets left to his 3 kids or his little grandson! Nice guy eh?

This is a good example of how not to make a will if you ask me...

localhero

Any family that has children from a previous relationship would be wise not to leave their estate to the surviving spouse - for there would be no guarantee that their children from a previous relationship, would ultimately inherit.

Nor would it be advisable to leave the estate to the children instead of the spouse, as this would not provide security to the surviving spouse.

In most cases, the family home is the main asset, usually owned as joint tenants. The most practical way to ensure certainty and fairness to all family members, is to first of all change the ownership to tenants in common. Then each partner leaves their share of the property in their Will to their own children. Therefore each spouse may have a different number of ultimate beneficiaries.

So that the surviving spouse is not forced to sell the family home upon your death, a provision should be made in the Will to entitle them to continue to occupy the home until he/she dies - therefore postponing the gifts until the second spouse dies.

A competent willwriting professional should be able to provide the peace of mind that you require.

Mojisola

localhero wrote: »

So that the surviving spouse is not forced to sell the family home upon your death, a provision should be made in the Will to entitle them to continue to occupy the home until he/she dies - therefore postponing the gifts until the second spouse dies.

I hope aliasojo doesn't mind me adding a secondary question -

Would the survivor have to live in the house for the rest of their life or could they sell and move to another house? Would it be the house itself that is inherited or the value of half the property?

MrsE_2

Mojisola wrote: »

One of the problems with step-families is that if you die and leave everything to the OH, he/she could get another OH and then die and all your money could be left to the new OH who will have no committment to your children so you can't rely on thinking that "everyone would be fair to each other".

That could happen to any family If the man or woman met someone else.

Errata

Whilst Localheroe's information is sensible, the OP's situation is complicated by the fact that one of her children is disabled and dependent on her.
The cost of a solicitor for advice is a wise investment in all the childrens futures.

pavlovs_dog

how about a four way split in the value of your share of the property, with money held in trust if any of your children are under 18/21 at the time of your death? (that sounds horribly macabre and morbid :eek: )

it may depend on the age of the child(ren) and the nature of the disability but i believe you can state what arrangements you would wish to put into place for their care in the event of your death (however i don't know how legally binding this is, but it would certainly give you the chance to make your wishes clear).

are you aware of the will aid scheme? not sure of the specifics but there's loads of info if you search the forums/site - free/very cheap will writing service, i believe in exchange for a donation to charity

does your OH have a will? how has he dealt with the stepchildren issue?