Splitting the bills?

CocoLoco_3

flea72 wrote: »

tbh, thats the mindset of a singleton, if your main thought is having to protect your savings, should you split up, the likelihood is you will!

For a partnership to work, it has to be equal the whole way down the line. If you start withholding in one area, then i dread to think how the rest of the relationship is fairing

And for the record, my advise works for 'under the brush' couples too
(15ys in practise here)

Flea

Sounds like my ex-partner - he was very much in the singleton mindset, even after 14 years. He earned 3 times what I did, and insisted we paid 50:50, and yes, even on newspapers! By the time we split, he'd amassed £80k of savings, and of course I had none, as I'd effectively been subsidising him.:mad:

jm28cardiff

If your living together, you are each using 50% of the resources, so should pay 50/50? Easiest way is only live with people who earn the same amount as you, maybe even a workmate!

Cleaver

Blimey, what an eye opening thread.

Me and the Mrs have one current account, all of our money goes in to it then what we need to buy comes out of it. Nice and simple. Realise that may not be for everyone though.

inmypocketnottheirs

flea72 wrote: »

rofl, i used to hate going out for meals with friends when it came to splitting the bill, me and oh would just pay our half, whilst the other couples, worked out to the penny, who had what, and paid their 'own' share accordingly, or argued over which ones turn it was to pay, as she'd borrowed £20 off him yesterday for .... , and he'd not paid for the newpapers this week, etc. :rotfl:

Flea

Yes, it's what I call 'Student Mentality'. If we're not careful it will descend into 'well you have more baked beans than I do...' :beer:

little_miss_moneysaver_3

I've just moved into a house with my BF, so we had a similar discussion. We're on pretty similar wages he earns about £200 a month more than me, but he does have debt which is more than past his eyeballs! So he needs that to pay towards that!

We opened a separate joint account for all the bills and pay our "halves" into that. Then we have our "housekeeping" for the food, going out etc which we just withdraw in cash each month and live off that. Then the money left in our own accounts is put towards our own credits card.

BF did suggest joint accounts. The only thing I thought would be bad is that I could go online and order his christmas pressies cos he would know how much i'd spent etc. And also given his past record of frittering money, hmm, I'd rather keep mine to myself where it's safe. :rotfl:

Maybe instead of paying half, suggest that you pay a few things like for the internet which you'll need for your course and maybe the food shopping? If you're left with nothing at the end of each month, it'll be a long 3 years.A lot of my friends have been on bursaries for the last 3 years and have done similar things.

Just my 2pennies worth

LMMS

3plus1

Hi CPW,

OH and I pay an amount into our joint account every month, which comes to enough for our necessary outgoings (groceries, heating bills, etc) and enough for fun money (going to a nice restaurant together, seeing a film, getting a takeaway, etc).

The amount we pay is based on our expected take home pay. I earn more, so I put more in. The way I see it, we're both contributing equally and we have our own money (what's left over after the joint account debit) to save or spend as we see fit. Yes, OH is left with less of his 'own' money than me, but as he is more likely to fritter this away on crap, this is for the best.

I wouldn't ever just have a joint account for various reasons. What if my card got stolen? We'd have to cancel both cards, and where would we get money from? As I have more than one current account, I could easily access some money and 'loan' us the money we needed for joint expenditure.

I like surprises. I wouldn't find birthdays and Christmases nearly as fun if I could see on our statement where OH had bought me a present from and for how much. I'd be able to work it out from that.

When OH wasn't working, the percentage he contributed to our household was 0%. If he went back to uni like you, 0% would be the starting point for how much he paid into our joint account. He'd have to pay for the tuition fees out of whatever loan/bursary money he was entitled to, but if he was entitled to an additional loan for living expenses, we wouldn't take it. I'm bloody appalled by how much debt the student loans company have let him build up already as it is (I don't care if the rate is meant to be around that of inflation, it's still made his student loan snowball) and I'd rather support him than increase that debt. If he was entitled to any sort of bursary for living expenses, then that would be ours and go into our joint account, but I doubt he'd qualify for one.

Basically, don't feel bad for contributing less money to your joint finances if you're the one earning less! As the breadwinner in my household, I certainly don't resent paying more. Plus, I doubt you intend to go back to uni just for a laugh - it'll be to increase your employment prospects, i.e. you'll end up being able to contribute more to your joint account in the long run than you would have been able to do had you not retrained.

It's important that you and your OH settle on a method you both see as fair - if he resents propping you up and/or you resent being propped up, you're going to head for explosive rows, which won't help you focus on your study any.

Crap_with_money.com

jm28cardiff wrote: »

Easiest way is only live with people who earn the same amount as you, maybe even a workmate!

LOL - are you serious JM? Made me laugh either way! Not sure how you'd figure that one out on a first date? - Maybe get them to fill out a check sheet? And god forbid they ever decide to change careers when you're together (which would effectively mean I'd be heading for dumpsville just now instead of thinking about moving in with my OH - since I'll be earning more by the time I graduate! )

Does seem a little as though it's horses for courses! Although I'm still not comfortable with the idea of him paying more - I think it would be different if we were already living together when I'd decided to do the course - or if we were already married or whatever. Just seems a bit unfair in my head to enter into it knowing we won't be on an even footing. Hhhhmmmm.........

xx

Crap_with_money.com

3plus1 wrote: »

Hi CPW,

OH and I pay an amount into our joint account every month, which comes to enough for our necessary outgoings (groceries, heating bills, etc) and enough for fun money (going to a nice restaurant together, seeing a film, getting a takeaway, etc).

The amount we pay is based on our expected take home pay. I earn more, so I put more in. The way I see it, we're both contributing equally and we have our own money (what's left over after the joint account debit) to save or spend as we see fit. Yes, OH is left with less of his 'own' money than me, but as he is more likely to fritter this away on crap, this is for the best.

I wouldn't ever just have a joint account for various reasons. What if my card got stolen? We'd have to cancel both cards, and where would we get money from? As I have more than one current account, I could easily access some money and 'loan' us the money we needed for joint expenditure.

I like surprises. I wouldn't find birthdays and Christmases nearly as fun if I could see on our statement where OH had bought me a present from and for how much. I'd be able to work it out from that.

When OH wasn't working, the percentage he contributed to our household was 0%. If he went back to uni like you, 0% would be the starting point for how much he paid into our joint account. He'd have to pay for the tuition fees out of whatever loan/bursary money he was entitled to, but if he was entitled to an additional loan for living expenses, we wouldn't take it. I'm bloody appalled by how much debt the student loans company have let him build up already as it is (I don't care if the rate is meant to be around that of inflation, it's still made his student loan snowball) and I'd rather support him than increase that debt. If he was entitled to any sort of bursary for living expenses, then that would be ours and go into our joint account, but I doubt he'd qualify for one.

Basically, don't feel bad for contributing less money to your joint finances if you're the one earning less! As the breadwinner in my household, I certainly don't resent paying more. Plus, I doubt you intend to go back to uni just for a laugh - it'll be to increase your employment prospects, i.e. you'll end up being able to contribute more to your joint account in the long run than you would have been able to do had you not retrained.

It's important that you and your OH settle on a method you both see as fair - if he resents propping you up and/or you resent being propped up, you're going to head for explosive rows, which won't help you focus on your study any.

Thanks 3plus1 - you make a lot of very good points. I'm still very much in 2 minds - I think we need to think it over properly for a few days - then maybe sit down and write out a list of pro's and cons.

I definitely feel a lot more comfortable at least considering it, knowing that other people are doing the same.

You're right, I will defo earn more when the course is finished - and in fact, because he's in the police and pays into so many different things (hefty pension etc), within 2/3 years my take-home pay would actually be more than his. It is only a year long course as well (since it's a post grad), so at least it'd actually only be 10 months we'd be in that position for - which in the grand scheme of things I don't suppose is a very long time at all

xx

Gorgeous_George

If he is happy with 75/25 I suggest you simply go with that. You can always save the difference and use it towards any future needs for the pair of you.

Good luck.

GG

SplanK

not read the other replies so far but at the moment I pay the mortgage (£670) and my OH pays all the other stuff - food, elec, gas, broadband, phone........ which works out similar - works out ok - however its not that easy to keep tabs on where money is I think...

however we have just setup a joint account - just waiting for the cards to come through and then we will get both wages paid into it and payments will be leaving the joint account and then both of us having a bit of spending money each money, then the rest can go into savings or spending on the house - although it will be a bit of a mess for the short term swapping over - in the long run i can see it been a lot easier to manage!.

we are starting to see both of our wages as "our" money instead of "my money" - the joint account wont really be used for payment - money will be transfered into our own accounts for spends!