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My experience of BR so far....

Hi Everyone

I still haven’t got a computer set up at home so that’s the reason I’m not on here so regularly – I don’t want anyone to think that I’ve taken the advice and run and want to take the opportunity to thank everyone for the very useful help you’ve given me over the last 5/6 months (maybe more?) – so a big Thank you to you All!! I’ve read many diaries on here that have helped me cope with the trauma of what we’ve either all been through and what many more will still go through….. so I wondered if I put my experience down it might help a few newbies…..

Back in May this year I realised that I had to get some help, that things couldn’t go on as they were. I had a debt of around £48k and a mortgage far too big to cope with. I initially went to a financial adviser and, whilst she wanted to consider all my options, she felt that ultimately BR would probably be my only option. That was the first time anyone had suggested that to me and it was a bit of a shock. She put me in touch with a Debt Adviser, who gave me the option of IVA and Debt Management Plans, but he also felt that they probably wouldn’t work for me unless I sold my house. He said BR would be best option for me. Nevertheless, I got the house valued in July, did a few sums and realised that as I would have to sell quickly I would be lucky if I got enough to cover the outstanding mortgage. Plus, selling would cost best part of £12-£13k, and I probably wouldn’t be able to hold out long enough for a decent enough offer to clear even some of it. (And the Estate Agent said I’d have to do some work to it to get a decent offer!)

I phoned National Debtline – to be told I would have to face considering BR, and probably losing the house. I went to Citizen’s Advice, where I was told BR was not the best option for me, and based on my income wanted me to do a Debt Management Plan – but her figures still left me with a shortfall of £12 a month, so wasn’t sure how that would work. She gave me the PayPlan Leaflet, but I’ve heard some not-so-good stories on here about them, so was dubious enough not to contact them.

In September, I contacted CCCS. They were really helpful – but still BR was the advice. After my interview, I kept ringing them with different queries that I had/couldn’t get my head around and every time I’ve spoken to them they’ve always been great.

However, I still couldn’t quite bring myself to understand what I had to do – as a lot of you will recall. Anyway, I started looking for a house to rent and after seeing about 4 or 5 found one which would suit me and my family (mum lives with me). I was upfront with the Agent, telling them my position which they passed on to the landlord who said he appreciated the honesty and didn’t have a problem with agreeing my tenancy. We’ve been living there just over a month now and settling in very well.

Eventually, I plucked up the courage to make my court appointment – rang them on the 3rd December, and attended the following week! Was done and dusted in under an hour. Although I can’t say I felt any relief at all, I thought I would either come out of there crying or extremely happy – but I didn’t feel anything but numb I suppose! I still don’t feel great, but am coming around to the idea that things can hopefully only get better. Although I have had a bit of an ‘episode’ getting my salary released from the bank, and a bit of a nightmare getting rent paid (so much so that it’s now been paid twice!) but at least it’s nearly sorted. I am waiting for my co-op account to be activated so I can arrange for my wages to go there. I have my OR interview 5th Jan, although I have spoken to them a few times last week regarding the bank account, and I have to say they’ve been really helpful.

Through all this I’ve kept asking myself how on earth I let the situation get to this – and I can’t answer it, at least not without beating myself up about it. And I wondered why I didn’t feel anything when I left the court, and why still 2 weeks on, I’m still not feeling much different. I don’t know if this sounds stupid, but I have wondered if finally ending my 22 year relationship with credit (albeit an unhealthy one) is a bit like getting divorced? Suddenly there’s nothing to fall back on, and I don’t think anyone who hasn’t been there can understand the psychological effects of that. The stresses and the strains of trying to deal with debt, the feelings of utter relief you get when you’ve managed to make a minimum payment (or the mortgage payment) just in the nick of time…. I feel like I’ve lost the love of my life, although he was a dirty, rotten, two-timing, double-crossing womaniser……. And I would never ever go back there!!!! If you haven’t been in a relationship like that, you would never understand why a person stuck it out for so long…. Just like debt!

Anyway, I’ve gone off on a tangent a bit, so apologies for that.

Once again, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the help, advice and encouragement you have given me and I wish you all a Merry Christmas. If I’m not back before, have a Happy New Year, and I will let you know how my OR interview goes….. xx

Comments

  • fiveyearplan
    fiveyearplan Posts: 10,143 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Thanks for posting that Rubie. I know how you feel about being numb, it wasn't the great relief for me either (although I'm glad I'm BR don't get me wrong, I just didn't feel that huge relief either). I also know what you mean about your relationship with credit and how will you survive without it to fall back on. It got me thinking to 10 years ago before then I never used credit cards and didn't have anything to fall back on but we always managed. We will just have to do the same now - I'm saying that now but I've been 'managing' it since my BR in April and I've still survived! You can too!!

    I wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas this year! No more January bills falling through the door!

    :j :j


  • Thanks for this post, Rubie! You describe the relationship with credit perfectly! Thinking back, I've realised that I've been in debt constantly for the past 22 years, literally from the very first month I got paid in my first job! The only time I wasn't in debt was the first month of my degree course 5 years later - but that went downhill pretty quickly!

    I'm really enjoying having no credit, and never want to go back to that dark, dangerous, dirty rotten scoundrel! All the best with your debt free life! CBx
  • Thanks for posting your story, story's like yours make me feel better about my situation. Glad you are settled in your rented house and good to know you went through an agent as I have just posted a separate post about that. Good luck with the OR and enjoy a debt free 2009 :-)
    I cant change the past, but the future is mine to play with!

    No 3 February 2009 Club
  • That was such an honest and well informed read, thank you.
    Like others have said, I didnt feel anything leaving the court and still feel sort of numb now. The biggest challenge for me is living without credit, which is difficult but I love it.
    Heres to a wonderful new begining in 2009!
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