MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Do you break the no Christmas present pact?

IvorGlyn

If a pact was agreed, like between myself and my friend last year, then no. Another friend has done it to me this year but I don't have the time or energy to get her something and then get it to her - I have ME/CFS and I have come down with a bad cold so I just can't do it. If I lose their friendship then tough, though I don't want to.

sonas_baby

I would tell my friend off, then arrange for a night to drink it together. This year my mother has dropped me right in it, she told me no presents just buy food for the meal. I totally agreeded. Then this weekend she informed me that it was kids only presents for the rest of the family (after I already had them bought and wrapped). So unfortunately I am the breaker this year. It will not happen next year as I am going to sort it out xmas day.

Wings_of_Ambition

I'd thank the friend, tell them I'm just popping to the loo, then run upstairs and wrap that same bottle in my own wrapping paper and give it back to them.

retired2

I wouldn't return a gift as that sounds like 'paying' for my present. I would take an extra good bottle of wine next time I visited or invite him to share the champers with me - do something in the future appropriate to the giver and the circumstances.
:beer:

9411john

Definitely stick to my guns. However, there is champagne and there is champagne!! Assuming it is of the better quality then I would say nothing to him/her but just chill the bottle then open and enjoy thinking to myself - "I know how to pick a best mate". If, however, it was a cheap version I would probably be looking for a new 'best mate' since I had obviously underestimated his connoisseur qualities.

nigel9

Originally Posted by Maureen Davison
Each year we buy presents but say that thankfully, there's nothing that we need, so please don't buy us anything in return. Nevertheless, we still receive presents and they end up being left at the bottom of cupboards.
This year we have said that WE aren't buying gifts, except for children, or those in need of Christmas cheer.
We do intend to buy a token gift for everyone, but we genuinely do not want anything for ourselves. The last thing we want is for people to feel that they have to buy us gifts in return.

This is exactly the type of behaviour that makes Christmas such a pain for some - Token gifts?? DON'T BOTHER.
This type of behaviour no doubt makes Maureen feel very good, superior and the recipients of her largesse small and inferior. Its patronising, elitist and deceitful . If this individual actually asked the people who receive the token gift I suspect out of hearshot they are of the same opinion. No friend of mine would do such a thing, no friend of anyone would do such a thing.
If you have respect for your friends and make a deal, to break it smacks of desperation and attention seeking. It shows a complete lack of respect for both yourself and your supposed friend. Don't give me any of that "but its Xmas," making yourself feel good at others expense is not nice any time of year.
Harsh but true.

pollypenny

I'd share it with him/her, and provide something light to eat.
I do enjoy choosing little presents for my friends; the main part of Christmas.

lottie-girl

pippinpuss wrote: »

In our family it has been parents & children for quite a few years otherwise it just gets out of hand.

If someone buys a gift for anyone else we just says thanks & scold them - in a half hearted way. I feel no compunction to buy them a gift in return.

If I was bought a bottle of champagne it would go with all the others I have accumulated over the years. I am putting them towards the kids wedding 'fund' will save me a fortune eventually.

We used to limit gifts to £5 & see how inventive people could be.

My extended family tend to adopt the children only rule but we have 5 littlies and everyone else either has 1 or 0 . Can end up feeling awkward so now we do family pressies - usually handmade hampers or such like. I wouldn't exchange a gift if we'd made a pact not to but this year we made bird feeders (out of logs) for everyone and i made a few extra in case anyone unexpected turned up with a gift (and so far 2 have)!!!

catalonia13

on a similar theme, what do you do when you find out 4 days before Christmas your close friend isn't buying presents this year...I've already brought (well, made actually) for her and would like to still give my present, am I going to make her feel bad if I do...?!

Ebenezer_Screwj

I would send a thankyou letter, remind him that he has broken the pact, drink the champagne and say and do no more about it.