Christmas clanger!

justruth

Not harsh, just honest and I respect honesty even when it's not always what I want to hear. As it goes now I am just cross about being put in this situation.

I'm thinking perhaps the end of our relationship may be in sight, which is why she has brought all the gifts so that I feel guilty if we do split up. Either that or she is blatently ignoring the times I tried to talk to her about my financial stance. Yes if I really wanted to I could go out and buy her an X box, but at the same time if she had stuck to the agreed limits she would be able to get herself one without putting me in a bad position.

I don't want to get further into debt at Christmas. I managed to get everyone elses presents within my preset budget so I refuse to feel bad about sticking to budget.

If she as a problem with that, then it is her problem, not mine.

I may sound ungrateful, because I am. I am not grateful for being pressured to spend money I do not have just because it is Christmas.

Buffythedebtslayer

you are n't ungrateful you are normal!

space on credit card? is she bonkers? the stress that debt causes you, she shouldn't want to make that worse!

Its just one day. You have budgetted and thought about it. Just because you aren't stupid enough to think you can buy happiness.

Its made me so mad on your behalf I can't type properly!!

pointypenguin

I don't think you sound ungrateful at all. It was her choice to go over the agreed limit. Stick to your budget and you will better off in the long run.

People need to realise there is more to life than 'stuff'. People like that will never be happy and they will just want more and more.

justruth

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

Its made me so mad on your behalf I can't type properly!!

I appreciate the support! There is clearly more to deal with here than Christmas!

Horace

justruth wrote: »

Not harsh, just honest and I respect honesty even when it's not always what I want to hear. As it goes now I am just cross about being put in this situation.

I'm thinking perhaps the end of our relationship may be in sight, which is why she has brought all the gifts so that I feel guilty if we do split up. Either that or she is blatently ignoring the times I tried to talk to her about my financial stance. Yes if I really wanted to I could go out and buy her an X box, but at the same time if she had stuck to the agreed limits she would be able to get herself one without putting me in a bad position.

I don't want to get further into debt at Christmas. I managed to get everyone elses presents within my preset budget so I refuse to feel bad about sticking to budget.

If she as a problem with that, then it is her problem, not mine.

I may sound ungrateful, because I am. I am not grateful for being pressured to spend money I do not have just because it is Christmas.

You have agreed a budget and you should stick to it. She has a problem in trying to make you spend more than you want - why should you get yourself into more debt to satisfy her needs. You are normal, she is the one with the needy problem and is buying your affection. Don't feel bad about being normal.

I had set myself a budget for various people for presents this year - I was going to spend £100 on my chap but have managed to buy his present for a lot less than that, others have had to make do with what they have asked for or have been given presents that cost me nowt (my mum asked me for a folding pruning saw and she has got one for £17.99 again this has come under budget). Due to careful budgetting and the fact that my solicitor sent me some money, I have now been able to pay off all my credit cards (£5158.61 in total:j ) so now I am going into the new year debt free. My attitude is that if folks don't like what I have bought them, made them or scrounged for them then that's too bad.

Ask her for the receipts of the items that she has bought and take them back, failing that sell them on ebay or refuse to accept them.

Seaxwyn

This is horrible to say, but I think she sounds needy and manipulative and you say the relationship has been stormy.... I think your best bet is to end it. Sorry if that sounds really brutal but you did say you liked honesty.

Get her to take the DS back and get her money back. If she won't, see if you can return it for a refund or sell it on ebay (or sell it to me if you live anywhere near Redhill, Surrey.....) I'm sure your GF will one day see the light, but you don't need to take the flak while she's still not getting it.

Hope you have a nice Christmas despite this tough situation.

tesuhoha

I think you should return/sell the Nintendo DS and pay the money off your debts. If she says anything you could say to her that if she wanted to give you a Christmas present then money off your debts is your favourite present right now.

determinedtodothis

hey you love the signature - think i will add that to

Hun i think you are so right, i don't know her but its quite a selfish attitude, my ex was in debt last xmas and he made me a cookie for xmas and i cherished that more than any of the other gifts i got, one thing doing all this MSE stuff is that it makes you realise that materialistic things aren't actually all that important - its made me a better person, i'm much more thoughtful that just throwing money at things and hoping that will fix it

Zazen999

Less is more.

Mudbath

I'd agree with the other posters. You shouldn't feel guilty because she's put you in this position AFTER you'd agreed something else. I used to be much more materialistic and loved the big expensive presents. Luckily I had my light bulb moment and this year it's about the children. DH and I do a stocking for each other with small presents including stuff we need like deoderant, bath stuff etc. There's also a few thoughtful small presents like a book by a favourite author etc. I love this so much more than throwing money at christmas. I hope you have a good one despite this xx