If your children don't eat what you cook for dinner...

blackcoffee

MY dd is 6, i know what she likes and what she dislikes, and I know also what she refuses to try !!! (we are going through a I hate fruit month)

so what i cook for her is what i know she likes, if she wont eat it, she goes without ! end of, no fuss, no issues, she knows the rules. And she most definatly wont come back to the table 15 minutes later saying she is still hungry !

i dont understand parents who prepare a meal for a family, then prepare something else for a fussy child, it just encourages the child to remain fussy !

Jo_R_2

If it's something that DDs haven't tried before, I always say "try it before you decide you don't like it." DD2 luckily will stick anything on her plate into her mouth to have a go, DD1 is a bit more wary but eventually will proudly either go, "I tried it, mummy, and it's nice!", or "I tried a bit, but it was horrible" :rolleyes:

I always make sure there's something they like though if it's something I know they haven't tried before or they might be half hearted about. Like last night I made a lentil wellington (which I thought was gorge, self-praise and all that ) but neither DD was that into it. However they ate all the mashed potato and veggies that I dished up with it so that was fine with me.

I'd never expect them to eat something they didn't like - what's the point? In this instance I would offer something else such as a slice of toast. This is partly because I worry they might be hungry, and partly because I know if they are hungry they are more than likely going to tell me when either they're tucked up in bed ready for sleep, or they'rer going to wake up because they are hungry in the middle of the night and I don't want that, call me selfish :eek::D

If it's something I know they *do* like, I consider if there might be extenuating circumstances, like I know if they're especially tired they won't eat much, for example.

If they're just being little monkeys, I angelically and patiently take their plates away after a while, but don't give them anything else. It all depends on the reasons and the attitudes involved. To avert waking in the night scenarios when this happens, they always have a drink of milk before bed so that seems to help.

SugarSpun

I don't have any children, although I'm incubating one at the moment. When I was a kid, I refused to eat a lot of things and mealtimes were always pretty dire. When I got really sick, it turned out I'd been refusing things I was allergic to, and forcing me to eat them was doing some damage.

I grew out of the allergies, but still have some issues about eating: if there's too much on the plate I can't eat at all, and other weird things, although I'm pretty good about trying new things. What I'm planning for when the baby gets old enough to eat solid food is to test with new things all the time, and preface the testing of potentially dislikable foods with, "Let's see if you're grown up enough to like [broccoli]". The kid then wants to like it, and if s/he doesn't then that's fine, we'll do something else and we'll try again in a couple of months.

If the kid's not eating dinner, then I'd first find out why, and then keep a stock of fresh fruit on hand in case there was a genuine reason. Saying it's disgusting is just rude though, and I'd stop that as quickly as I could. It's one thing to say you don't like something, but to be obnoxious in saying so is disrespectful. Five is old enough to understand that other people have feelings.

Zazen999

blackcoffee wrote: »

i dont understand parents who prepare a meal for a family, then prepare something else for a fussy child, it just encourages the child to remain fussy !

Tell me about it; inheriting a step daughter whose parents always did this is the bane of my life. I've given up now - after 4 years - of trying to encourage her to try anything that isn't heinz or bland. At least she eats Broccolli and carrots...and various other veg hidden in there somewhere that she doesn't know about.

I'm thinking one day she will fall for someone who likes curries and come home wanting something vaguely spiced. [she'll eat HP sauce, but won't go near anything spicy - go figure!]. She's 11 now so I might have a long wait.

BenL

I don't have any kids and haven't spent that much tme as yet with my g/f's daughter but didn't see on the list the thing that i would do or try.

Can you give your daughter a choice of 2 things that you could easily make and then as she has requested it she would be more likely to eat it?

Daughter thinks there is a choice but really there is no choice except what you have already decided is do-able.

LilDevil

My SD2B used to be fine eating anything we made for her - until her mother had a go at me for feeding her vegetarian food ("she's a child, she needs meat" - b0ll0cks!), now she very rarely eats what we give her - if we encourage her to just try it - it barely even touches her lips before she pulls faces and says she doesn't like it.

When I point out that she used to eat it, she says she just pretended to like it.

Now, I just tell her fine, and that she won't get anything else - OH often undermines me with this, so I guess I'm fighting a losing battle. I have found that it does help if she helps to prepare/cook it, she seems far more willing to eat it.

Milford_Cubicle

We have a rule in this house that you are not allowed to say you dislike it until you have tried it. DD is now 7 (and a half...) and has a relatively varied diet which includes cucumber, carrots and lettuce. I give her every opportunity to say she doesn't like what she's been given, however if she's eaten it before and liked it, then it'll go in the bin and that's that.

I would like to add though that I was practically force-fed beef and chicken breast as a child, i.e. it'd be given to us for dinner and despite my protests about not liking it and physically gagging whilst eating it, I'd still be expected to have it. My parents only took me seriously when I reached my teens and allowed me to make my own meal choices. Even now I can't even consider beef as a menu choice and I still dislike chicken breast alone if it's too dry.

Rather than give your child the same thing over and over, encourage them to tell you the truth about it. For example "This is disgusting" might be a case of "I really don't like this" but kids of that age aren't exactly tactful! "I don't want it" could be "I like this, but I'm not hungry". Do you give her the choice of what they'd like to eat, or do you just make a meal? I find offering my daughter a choice on certain days, but simply giving her a meal we're all eating on others works perfectly well.

You have to be a mind-reader to have children...

pinkshoes

My mum did the BEST puddings! But if I didn't make a reasonable effort to eat my main course, I got NO pudding! It was the best incentive in the world.

They also said I should eat what I was given, without complaining, particularly at other people's house. I remember having to force down this disgusting liver casserole that a childminder had made for us, whereas my brother refused to eat it. I did get a well done from my mum (she looked in the pot and it looked like poo!), but I was utterly horrified when I found out she later gave my brother a yoghurt! I may have only been 6 years old, but I certainly wasn't stupid!

Magpie.

My daughter is almost 3 and luckily has her main meal at nursery so evening meals aren't too much of a problem. However, if she does play up then no I don't offer her anything else and generally she will go back to her dinner.

paul2468

manda1205 wrote: »

So do they live on spaghetti and chips? Cos thats what my daughter would want every night if I let her! :rolleyes:
I agree with not making a fuss but would never let her get her own way.

As the doctor said to us.....you wont find children here passing away due to starvation...