and so it begins...

crystal_fire

Thanks for your opinions and as soon as we can all get together we'll have a propper chat about it instead of over the phone.
I'm not just taking his money and saying cheers now sit down and shut up by any means i have asked my dad's oppinion through out and we both had imput on menus, entertainment etc.

It's just i cant see why i have to drop close friends who he doesn't like for members of family who he doesn't like either because he's forgotten which part of the ceremony he's invited them to!

Stephb1986_2

I think you should put your foot down after all its your day not his! How would he like it if you was organising his funeral and you said that he had to go to one church instead of the one he wanted to go to because its too far for people to travel, I dont mean it funny but people have till july to save up for a taxi!! thats 8 months!

Do what you want!

Steph xx

Lilith1980

Timmne wrote: »

Pay for it yourself if you want to say what happens. Sounds frank but look at it from his side - he's paying for half but doesn't get to contribute?

With our wedding it was a clear message to our parents that we'd do what we wanted and although we'd be over the moon with anything contributed by them, we wouldn't change our plans. We did let them invite a couple of close friends for example and a couple of other bits but they knew their place, as did we ours!

I agree to some extent but I dont think people should have the monopoly on the wedding just because they have paid something towards it. I was very lucky in that my Mum paid for most of our wedding and didn't interfere at all really. She was just happy to contribute towards the wedding and see her daughter get married.

OP, I think you should put your foot down just because if you keep compromising to suit other people it will end up being a wedding for everyone else. The sooner they realise you wont be swayed, the sooner they will stop sticking their oars in

Arthurian

I've heard it said that a wedding is not the bride's day, but the host's day. And the host should be the parent or parents, who is giving away his/their daughter, at a ceremony which is supposed to be for the two families to meet and to recognise the union publicly. If the bride and groom wish to contribute to the cost, so that it can be a slightly grander affair, that's fine, but the host remains the parent or parents. Of course, the parents can accommodate the bride's wishes to a lesser or greater extent, but sometimes in all the excitement it seems "it's your day, not theirs" is the only thing brides (not you, OP!) think of, instead of thinking about this, one of the final parental duties as they formally leave the protection of the family home.

crystal_fire

Thanks for your replys my parents came up for the weekend and we had a lengthy chat about the guest list and we reached one that everybody likes.

im happy and my dad is happy.