wanting to be a couple

bestpud

sibcy wrote: »

Thank you for everyone's advice.
Message for Conor, don't Judge me, The reason I asked the question was because my children come first, I didn't want my boyfriend to move in , and then find out that we couldn't afford to buy them clothes etc
My boyfriend lives with his boss at the moment so only has to pay to run his car

Your boyfriend earns at least £25k! What do you clothe your children in?

OrkneyStar

www.entitledto.co.uk will give you an idea of what tax credits you would be likely to get, plus your Child Benefit, as others have said. I doubt you'd get any Council Tax or Housing Benefit.
I think you will also both need to wake up a bit, and realise in the real world, you pay your rent, CT, bills, etc, before the luxuries. As for kids clothes, check out second hand stuff, ebay etc. Putting them first is about loving and encouraging them (which I am sure you do already) not new clothes, fancy toys etc (especially not when the state is paying for it!).
Good luck and go for it!

seven-day-weekend

Sibcy, sorry if you find some comments a little negative, it's just that in your first post you mentioned that you would lose all your benefits 'and there is no way that he could move in' and then said if you couldn't get anything from the State it was all 'doom and gloom'.

All people have done is pointed out that it is NOT all doom and gloom and in fact between you there will be quite a good income.

If he 'only has to pay to run his car' and doesn't want to contribute anything else, then I for one would think twice (or three or four times ) about moving him in..

Conor_3

sibcy wrote: »

Thank you for everyone's advice.
Message for Conor, don't Judge me, The reason I asked the question was because my children come first, I didn't want my boyfriend to move in , and then find out that we couldn't afford to buy them clothes etc
My boyfriend lives with his boss at the moment so only has to pay to run his car

And earns £25k. Speaks volumes TBH. Someone in your relationship is putting money first.

Joint earnings in our house this year are going to be £15k plus about £8k tax credits so around £2k less than your boyfriend earns. We have a £450 a month mortgage to pay out of that and manage perfectly well so considering you'd continue to get child tax credits and child benefit, I wouldn't mind being in your shoes.

tom9980

Agree with everyone to be honest you need to sit down and look at the figures together make it sink in that he has to support you and your kids you are a package deal.

Im pretty sure you will be better off to be honest he now has to realise that if he wants you hes going to have to pay for it and not waste his cash the question is will he be willing to do it? if not then i guess it isnt worth moving him in.

notlongnow_2

sibcy wrote: »

can someone please help me, I am divorced with 2 children aged 4 and 6 and I am living in a rented house and the council pay most of the rent and all council tax.
I get income support plus £10 csa a week, Full child tax credit because i don't work.
My boyfriend gets about £360-£400 a week, so we sat down assuming that I would lose all benefits and there is no way that he could move in.
My rent is £ 575 a month plus £ 100 council tax thats without everything else.
Would we get any help at all or is it all doom and gloom

Regards
J Sibcy

Oh dear! Another post wanting to grab what they can. God forbid everyone starts paying their own bills out of..er...WAGES.

Of course he can move in. If you love him, and your kids love him, and its what you all want, then do it. Everything else will fall into place. I take home £200 a week. I have a partner on DLA and 3 children. Its our own house (not rented or council) and we are 'ok'.

SomeBozo

I wrote a long post then deleted and "thanked" Conors post who summed it up fantastically.

Bozo

Felicity

SomeBozo wrote: »

I wrote a long post then deleted and "thanked" Conors post who summed it up fantastically.

Bozo

Well said also.

What is this country coming to and where do all these attitutes come from?

Not moving in with somebody you love in case you have to support your family with hard work! What a crazy idea!

rchddap1

If your boyfriend is earning 25k and only having to run his car then where is the rest of his cash going? He will have to curb his spending and from the sounds of things he's not willing to do that to be with the person he 'loves'.

From what I read into this I suspect its mainly him saying that 'yes I'll move in but you have to keep paying all your bills as before. I can't/won't pay things for you'. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but this is the way that it is coming across.

A lot of people live very comfortably on a lot less than you do with quite a number of children. And work very hard into the bargain. Yes, designer clothes, video games, expensive food & drink, going out, top sky tv package on all day, etc... are nice but you have to decide what is most important to you both. Is is 'stuff' or is it being together.

Money can only be spent once and if you decide that you both want to keep buying all the stuff you're use to then chances are this relationship won't go any further.

Sorry for being blunt, but that's how I see it over here.