Bank Statement Phobia please help

Xbigman

I was the same when I was in debt. My excuse for not opening bills was that they had to 'mature' on my bookcase for a bit. Translation; they were never opened. I was scared of opening letters but I realised that I had to stop being scared and get angry. Angry with myself and the companies that I owed money too.

You need to realise that in your situation, IE debt that is not out of control, the banks love you. They will make money out of you and the more debt you have the more they make. Doesn't that make you angry?
The banks hate me now. They don't make a penny out of me except for mortgage interest and I love it.
Regards



X

bank_of_slate

Xbigman wrote:

the banks love you. They will make money out of you and the more debt you have the more they make. Doesn't that make you angry?
The banks hate me now. They don't make a penny out of me except for mortgage interest and I love it.
Regards



X

You are SO right Xbigman! My husband won't have a credit card and the banks can't stand it! He gets at least 4 pre-approved offers through the mail each week and they keep phoning him up. (I just registered with TPS today so I hope the calls will reduce)

I think there's a secret office somewhere that panics every time it identifies someone without a credit card or loan.
...Linda xx

kathfisch

Hi Karrie
To echo the other posters, first of all WELL DONE just for facing up to your problem enough to post on here about it. You've made that first step on your own so you can be confident that you're able to take the next step, with a bit of moral support from people on here of course!

I would definitely agree with the advice to use internet banking because it does enable you to check your account when you feel ready (even if it is 4 in the morning!), rather than waiting for the statement which feels like such a big thing. Obviously statements online can be ignored just as much as paper ones!

My suggestion would be to start slowly, just do a bit at a time and enjoy the feeling of taking control. When I had debt (admittedly not as much as many on here have dealt with) it made me feel ill to confront it and do the sums. I thought it was the constant reminders (i.e. statements) that made me feel like that but I realised it was the feeling of being out of control. As soon as I was in control I felt much better, even when I still had the debts.

I hope other people's experiences and support on here can help you, feel free to let us know how you get on. Good luck!

calibrax

Hi Karrie... welcome to the forum. The biggest hurdle in a situation like yours is to recognise the problem and ask for help. Well, you've done that! Congratulations!

For me, bank statements are not an issue, because I use a spreadsheet... I put my salary into it, and all my outgoings, and then anything I spend in the month I add to the sheet on the same day as I spend it. There's a total showing me how much is remaining in the account.

The good thing about this is that I know exactly what my bank balance is at any time, and when my statement arrives it simply confirms what I already know.

I also have my credit cards on there, with my "amount available" and my regular outgoings... and again, I do the same thing whenever I spend - add the item to the spreadsheet. So I never go over my limit by accident.

I have a lot of debts that I'm clearing, and by doing the above I feel totally in control... it's a great feeling. Will be even better once my debts are all paid off!

BWZN93

I used to get scared too, until I decided to take the bull by the horns and register for internet banking and force myself to check it every morning when I wake up. Its an incentive for me to clear the debts, alerts me to potential problems and now I dont feel half as bad as I used to.

Dont get me wrong, I still think - 'oh god - I hope this isnt going to be bad' occassionally, usually around mid month when ive spent a bit, but by far easiest is nearly the end of the month when there is only a few pounds left, ive now become a master of budgeting down to the last penny and waiting for a nice refill from the employers.

Knowing that i dont actually have to go into a bank to handle my finances is great too, I get paid, transfer all bill money to a separate account so I know they will be paid and I wont go overdrawn, transfer money direct to bills such as credit card and other debts and then the current account is used for spending. Its much better to face the truth and deal with it than be in a constant panic, my boyf used to do that until I made him check and now he is slowly getting a handle on things too, and isnt scared of letters anymore!

Jo xx

fairylights_2

I was the same and my husband was too (what a relief it wasn't just us!) which meant NOONE was facing up to our situation. We took the bull by the horns about this time last year and in June time, I did a big Excel spreadsheet with both our accounts and our joint account too. I check our online statements every day, so we don't get caught out, and every Sunday I update the predicted totals with the actual totals. It means we try to stick within what we can spend for the week, leaving more to clear our debts. Also, with predicted totals running until the end of this year, we can see if we work hard how much money will be there.

We nearly got caught out by a cheque and a card payment clearing on the same day just before Christmas. It would have put OH over his limit and incurred charges I don't want to even think about, but because I checked at lunchtime, I transferred enough from our joint account to put him back in the clear - I can't recommend it enough.

Good luck with getting brave. OH still doesn't open his statements, I do now. He reckons he knows everything that goes in or out because I check them online so much!

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi Karrie,

welcome to MSE.

Good to see you have had some practical suggestions from other members, so I will just throw my philosophical tuppence into the ring !!

Many of us have fears and phobias be they financial or otherwise and half the battle is facing up to them.

With the right support, courage and focus we can get through them.

On the other side of this fear often is freedom.

we just need to work our way through the fear to the freedom.

Good Luck ! I wish you well.

System

I will be honest, i am not in any debt but i still hate opening my bank statements. I find online banking/statements so much easier to deal with.

SkippyB

Hi Karrie

I'm the same as Judi! I have no debt at all and yet I get really nervous about opening my Bank Statements...I think it's a throwback from my times in debt!! So I can thoroughly understand how you feel......I suggest that you sit down with a friend you trust who isnt in debt and go through your finances with them. It gives you an independant view of your finances and they may be able to suggest ways to shave a little of here and there....also moral support is so important at times like these!

A problem shared is a problem solved.....

Good Luck!

crawley_girl

Karrie

I can completely identify with everything you said. I was in the same boat and was missing payments and debts were rising. I bit the bullet and trawled through everything and it took a while but now I have everything open and filed away. It's quite sad to admit it now, but I look forward to my once a month filing session!!!

People have given you some fab advice. Get down to the pound shop, get yourself some nice files/ dividers and a heavy duty hole punch and go for it! Am sure you will feel better once you make a start... good luck.

Vicki