Bank Statement Phobia please help

Karrie

This is going to sound silly but I have a fear of opening my bank statements and it's been going on for years now. I have decided that this month I am going to sit down and sort out my finances but the thought of going through my bank statements literally makes my stomach turn. Told you it was silly didn't I? I can only think it has come from losing everything when my and my ex split 8 years ago and not facing up to my financial problems. I am not in deep financial trouble but I will be if I carry on. I just can't sit down and write down what I am spending and what is coming in. Does anyone else feel like this? Did they feel like this and made it better? Any advise would be very much appreciated.

frosty

I used to feel the same,I would find jobs around the house that needed doing anything really except opening letters and facing up to the fact that I needed to sort out our finances,what I decided to do was get all our paper work together,made myself a strong cup of coffee ,then i spent the next 4 hours going through it all,my stomach was churning my heart was racing,but when i saw everything we owed listed on paper even though it was scary i felt in control,i was facing up to it,maybe when you sit down with your bank statements or anything else to do with money it might not be as bad as you think,fear of the unknown is very scary,if its not good news come back and post your income and expenditure and everyone will try to help you .

bank_of_slate

Hi Karrie.

It does not sound silly at all...I've been like that for the last year, after all, 'what you don't know can't hurt you right?'
WRONG!! I would put the unopened statement in the cupboard and if I didn't get a letter from the bank telling me that I was over my authorised overdraft amount then I presumed that I was fine.
Yesterday I had a financial 'epipheny' and faced up to the fact that I'm relying on the overdraft and then some every month!!!!
I can't tell you how much better I feel for going through all the statements and making a table of what comes out each month.

Do it, Just because you haven't read the statement does not mean that the problem doesn't exist!

If you're anything like me you feel physically sick every time a statement drops through the door and always imagine the worst case scenario.
Also, if I hadn't checked my statement thoroughly, I would have missed the fact that some scrote took 2 lots of £30 from my account via fraud!!!!!!
Good luck, hunny, you'll feel so much better once you know your exact position financially! Until you do that, there's no way you can begin to make a plan of action
...Linda xx

galaxyone

Hi Karrie

Welcome to MSE. I have been avidly reading posts and Martin's book for a few months now and have made lots of changes that have really helped get our finances under control and paid off £2000 of a £10000 debt so far.

I really do sympathise with how you feel because I felt the same...about looking at our finances (but also stepping on the scales..doing the housework..whatever! I guess I'm just one of those people who tends to put things off / bury my head in the sand) but like anything else, the thought of doing it is worse that actually doing it I think! I have felt such a massive relief from getting everything down on paper (Ok an Excel spreadsheet) and knowing exactly where we stand. I was really amazed (and horrified) at how much money I had been spending on things like coffee in Starbucks, takeaways, magazines etc.


I have altered my (and my husband and 21month son) lifestyle quite a lot and have cut our grocery shopping from £400 a month to £180 thanks to tips on here. But I'm a lot happier and less stressed than I was, and feel excited about getting things sorted rather than miserable about the things we've given up.

There is so much help and support available on here if when you have looked at the figures you need advice about what to do next.

Good luck....

meadowcat

Have you tried online banking? I used to hate seeing bank statements coming. I didn't keep much of a check on things and the bank statement was always a nasty surprise.

With online banking you know exactly what is happening with your account at all times. It gives you so much control. I have current account, cc account and savings account all online. I keep a minimum in current account and only transfer money to it if I have used my debit card.

Sorry, I don't mean to be over simplistic about any debts you have, I just mean that if you are aware of everything in your bank account on a daily basis then you can be in much better control of it. :snow_grin

Karrie

Thank you all soooo much for taking the time to reply to my post and tell me of your own experiences. It's a huge relief to know that I am not the only one to feel like this when a statement appears. Alreadly, I feel much more confident about facing what I have to do and I WILL do it. Thanks again. Oh and when I do sit down and face my demons I will more than likely be back asking for advise again.

Thanks again!

Fur_coat_&_no_knickers

Karrie , i too felt the same as you do. I couldnt sleep at night as i woke up worrying about all the statements and the credit card bill statements coming through my door.

I think id ignore it all as ive suffered from depression and couldnt even write anything down never even mind do a budget . After one night of worrying (last week) i decided to get up at 4am and sort it there and then , i wrote all my debts down and tallied everything up on martins money sheet and instantly i felt a weight had lifted off me..it wasnt good news but deep down i already knew that anyway. But now i feel like im sorting it instead of burying my head in the sand.
Yes it takes time to do and alot of searching for paperwork but you need to do it now before it spirells out of control, like it has for me. But ive had some great tips on here and ive become a cc tart and what a buzz i got off sorting that out :-)

I wish you luck in sorting it and just think and youve already made a great start by logging on here

x

Karrie

Thank you for your reply. Like you I have suffered from depression which makes it worse when you know you have to deal with your finances. Am not sure I will being doing it at 4am but I will be collating all my paperwork tonight to sit down and go through this weekend. ohhh errr just thinking about it turns my stomach but I will do it. Crazy huh? I just want to stop hiding from it and feel that I am finally dealing with the situation. :whistle:

Good luck to you too.

Thanks again

x

jcr16

it doesn't sounds silly at all, when we had really bad problem's i would get everything i needed from the kitchen to keep me going for a few hours then sit in the lounge. guess why i did this ? becuase our front door was in the kitchen and that meant i would see the post arrive. the letter box always made a horrible noise when shutting it would make me shudder , as i knew once i heard that noise it meant more bills. so i would avoid going into the kitchen to see the post. and when i did finally get the post i would shove it straight in a draw without looking.
a very stupid way of dealing with things but at the time it all i could cope with. then we finially plucked up courage to sort it , and now i do on-line banking and i look forward to the bank statement's arriving as i can check things off and make sure they add up. also we pay most bills on D/D so don't get any bills anymore just statements as to balance.
now u have taken the plunge u will realise how much better u feel and happier inside.

HTH

moongarden

hi karrie,
i was in the same position as you three weeks ago. i collected all my papers and unopened letters together and there were 6 boxes of them

a quick start would be collect everything together on the living room floor. set yourself half an hour on a timer and just pick up each piece of paper and put into three piles:
1 - shred (or burn)
2 - keep - (bank statements and bills)
3 - other stuff which needs to be kept

go on with them for half an hour then go off and watch tv or something else

repeat until only 3 piles exist then get a lever arch file and some dividers and file everything into there.

thats enough of a project for this week!

good luck

sparklymessygirl

Hi Karrie,

You have had some great advice. I hate opening statements and sometimes let them collect for ages and I am not even in debt at all! I get anxious seeing a typed letter to me for some reason. If you are procrastinating this weekend and can't get started trying the other methods suggested maybe you could just give yourself permission to open just one letter then stop. Hopefully that won't scare you too much and will help you overcome your inertia. If you opened one a day you would get through your backlog.

Let us know how it goes this weekend
good luck
Sparkly