Employer Advice

Debt_Free_Chick

Kavanne wrote: »

That is no reason to miss work and go to asda shopping instead.....

If you had bad PMT you would be curled up at home not going out to have lunch with colleagues.

I didn't mention PMT.

Women are more prone to depression - partly hormonal, partly as they generally suffer low self-esteem. A "crisis of confidence" can - and does - render some women simply unable to deal with "normal life" on occasions. Many of us struggle on - but I'm not so sure that's a good thing.

Like it or not, women have more issues than men. Yes, that's a sweeping generalisation, but that doesn't mean there's no substance to it.

Indeed - all of us "have issues" but most women are unable to simply "soldier on". It's just the way we (men and women) are built.

Debt_Free_Chick

SomeBozo wrote: »

It was hard to understand her as she was crying so much. I said "We will talk it through on Monday".



Gut reaction is to keep her.

But I can't (and when I mean "I" I mean me and my company) really support her through a crisis at home.

Why not? Just curious. If she's having a tough time, why not support her?

But if its outside work, I can't and won't help. I am very strict and about people at work leaving their work at the door at 5pm and picking it up at 9am the next day. Likewise I need that commitment about home issues. I dont mean to sound callous but I have survived 6 years with this ethos. Work is work. Home is home and never the twain should meet.

You can say that all you like to your staff, but the human mind is not that simple. Women, in particular, find it very difficult to split different aspects of their lives into silos, the way that men seem able to. I speak from painful, personal experience.

I announced last week that each employee will get a £1000 gift card for a store of their choice and Xmas party in London at hotel all paid. I value my employees greatly, but I can only help with their work issues.

Well .... just to show that we can be cantankerous old mares ...... I wouldn't want to feel that I had no option but to attend a party and even less an overnight stay away from home. I'm struggling to find an excuse out of my work Christmas do this week - and I'm a senior manager in HR!!!! But I am really out of my comfort zone socialising with colleagues. Work is work and friends are friends ....

We are flat out busy at the moment, lots of companies are are busting at the lip for our services and need a flat out sleek 100% operation going.

I am going to the office tommorrow (London!) and have booked a 9am "chat" with her.

Will report back.....

Bozo

If she has issues at home/personally, it doesn't automatically follow that she can't/won't give 100% at work. In my case, I needed my work to deal with my personal issues. I was a failure in my personal life and boy, oh boy, did I need work to give me some sense of achievement

These things are very complex but what you do really depends on how much you can give, in order to keep her.

Good luck.

Ivrytwr3

OMG! She threw a sickie!!! So what?!She has been a model employee, but she has a life outside your work (some people live to work, others work to live).

With the crying down the phone she is obviously upset by what she has done and will more than likely never do this again.

By all means ask her why she did it, if personal reasons, sympathise with her and offer assistance. If a sickie, a warning will suffice.

She has helped keep you in business after all.

SomeBozo

Hello all

As promised, said I would report back.

We had a meeting together yesterday and she handed in her notice, she has found another job.

The reason for the "sickie" was to attend a interview. She did not feel she could ask for the time off, plus the company she is moving to is a rival of ours.

She was sent flowers as the illness she stated on the phone was quite serious, and her estimated period of illness was stated as "at least 2 weeks" and she said she was visiting the doctors.

So, after the chat, I sent terminated her employment and will pay her her notice but I don't want her to work it.

Her interview was Friday morning, and she got offered and accepted the job there (hence why she was out after).

So thats that really.

Bozo

Happy_Girl_2

Then imo that's outrageous to pretend she was seriously ill just to get time off for an interview!

There is nothing else you could have done in these circumstances.

What and where is the job? Can us MSE'ers have advance notce of the vacancy hehe? Perhaps you can fill it from here?!

(Land_of)_Maz

well thanks for updating Bozo... i was hoping you would,,,

it is odd that she made something fairly serious up or maybe that was her hubby and she had to run with it, she must have felt a bit spooked when she got flowers....

for what it's worth, the other employees mustn't have known she was swinging the lead or someone would have said hold the flowers for a while......

Is she looking for a reference? i know you can't give a bad one, but if this is a rival company in the same sector, will you be tempted to mention her conduct to a contact off the record?

dmg24

Thanks for letting us know Bozo, very sad when an employee lets you down like that, expecially as you do appear to be a fair employer.

Although it is regretful to lose a good employee, I suppose it is better to not have someone that could also blatantly lie to her employer and her colleagues.

(Land of) Maz, an employer can give a bad reference, so long as it is honest, and balanced (representative of the employee's performance as a whole). However, sometimes it can cause more trouble than it is worth to go down this route (sorry Bozo, I know you already know this ).

(Land_of)_Maz

thanks dmg, i always thought it was a case of refuse to give a reference or give a reasonable one... maybe that's an urban myth!

thanks though - i live and learn!

SomeBozo

Hello all, to respond to some points :

Then imo that's outrageous to pretend she was seriously ill just to get time off for an interview!

There is nothing else you could have done in these circumstances.

<shrugs> Yeah your probably right, but we are now in the world of ethics, not legal, hence all rules are off.

What and where is the job? Can us MSE'ers have advance notce of the vacancy hehe?

Sorry, but I can't and would not ever name my company on here. Too many controversial views in the past!. If you are in the industry my company is in, you will hear about it!

it is odd that she made something fairly serious up or maybe that was her hubby and she had to run with it, she must have felt a bit spooked when she got flowers....

All in the past now. I can't influence the past!

Is she looking for a reference? i know you can't give a bad one, but if this is a rival company in the same sector, will you be tempted to mention her conduct to a contact off the record?

Listen to dmg! You can't give a good reference, or a bad reference. What you must give is a "honest" reference.

Thanks for letting us know Bozo, very sad when an employee lets you down like that, expecially as you do appear to be a fair employer.

I can offer the best salary, the best perks and the best working conditions. Although it is regretful to lose a good employee, I suppose it is better to not have someone that could also blatantly lie to her employer and her colleagues.

Although it is regretful to lose a good employee, I suppose it is better to not have someone that could also blatantly lie to her employer and her colleagues.

She is a good scalp for my rival. She knows the inudustry inside out and mixes both personally and professionally with my clients! I can't condemn my rival as I have done the same to them over the years.

(Land of) Maz, an employer can give a bad reference, so long as it is honest

Well said dmg!

Thanks to all for the replies.....

Bozo

CFC

Somebozo, sorry to stick my beak in again - but why did she look for another job? Did that come out of the conversation? Could be useful knowledge garnered here?