Relationship Breakdown Problem - Joint Owned House

martin40

My relationship with my ex broke down 6 years ago, and we have 2 children. Things were amicable at first and after our split I helped her buy a house for herself and the kids to live in (since she would not be granted a mortgage on her earnings and they refused to take child maintenance into account). My name is on the deeds and the mortgage, so in effect I own half of the house.

Now, the CSA has stirred things up by demanding a huge increase in monthly payments including alot of back-pay, and things are much less amicable since I feel unable to afford this (I now have another child to support) and my ex feels too tempted by the money to accept a fair compromise which I have offered (well done the CSA!).

My question is, what are my rights regarding the house? Am I entitled to half the equity and to insist now that she buy out my half? I don't want to force a sale and to uproot the kids from their home, don't get me wrong, I just need to find a way to be able to afford the CSA's demands, and to find peace via a sense of justice and fairness.

I guess I need to enlist the services of a lawyer, I just wanted to know whether it's all worth it and what my chances are, and what I may have to go through to achieve this. Is it likely to end up in court, for example?

Pinky9

You must get legal advice - and try to go on recommendation from someone else or take up the free half hour which many places offer - you sound like a reasonable man (not many of those about!) so you need to find someone who you feel is going to be fair to you both.

In my case, my ex stopped paying anything towards the bills and his attitude was he didn't care if the house was repossessed etc. etc. After 18 months of fighting - and the Solicitors taking about £10k from us - I found a solicitor who was on my side but prepared to help me negotiate. I needed to have the equity from the house in order to keep a roof over mine and the kids heads, he was a good earner and the CSA wanted to fleece him. We came to an arrangement that I kept the equity once all the debts were paid off and he paid me a reduced figure which was agreed by us both. Should I involve the CSA in future years he agreed a figure which would then become his stake in my house payable when my son is 18. His payment is index linked so will increase by the rate of inflation. It was worked out by taking into account the difference between what he pays me and what the CSA wanted him to pay and adding it all up so in the end he's getting his money from the house, but on a monthly basis in the savings between the 2 sums!

I think that sounds a little complicated, but it's not really, he then has a legal document giving him the security that I shall not go to the CSA again (had to last time) provided he continues to pay the agreed sum and I have the security that when my son reaches 18 or I remarry or co-habit etc I shall not have to sell up to give him his money.

We still prefer not to speak to each other - but at least I think we both feel that we came away with a reasonable deal.

Good luck to you and I hope you find a decent solicitor and that you can come to an amicable arrangement for you both.

Big hugs,

Pinky

martin40

Thanks for that response - I'll try to understand it when I have more time!!

The sad thing is I think that she will only come to an amicable arrangement if she believes it is in her own best (financial) interests, rather than in the interests of our children, which is how it should be.