how many nights can a b/friend stay whilst on benefits?

paddedjohn

why not move back home to mum so you can be there for her more and stop the curtain twitcher, realisically speaking this would cut out the need to claim rent for your property.

Sal-238

I really wish the DWP would at least produce a set of guidelines on this and, reading other posts, I think we all would.

I have always had a great relationship with my little boys Father. We split in March 2009 and I started to claim benefits. He continued to stay in my house at weekends to spend time with his son. He works 3 hours away in the week and at the time had nowhere to stay locally. In July 2009 some kindly soul (former best friend - be warned) decided to inform the DWP that he was living with me, of course I had no idea about this. In October 2009 I had a hip operation and was non-weight bearing for 6 weeks. My ex agree to come and help for as much time as he could, his son was only 3 at the time and I have two other children as well, he took a week off work to come and help me. The DWP observed my house for a month, ridiculously they were sitting outside from the very date I came back from hospital. During that month I couldn't walk and was unable to even pick my son up, as well as needing help with the shopping, cooking, fetching and carrying and just about everything else. I had someone in my house all of the time, including my ex.

In January 2010 they stopped my benefits and hauled me in - on crutches, accusing me of all sorts. This went on for 6 months, during which time I actually underwent a full hip replacement. They didn't leave me alone at all. Eventually our saving grace was the fact the my ex was paying council tax elsewhere and the case was dismissed.

I started seeing someone in August this year. When we met he was just moving into his flat on a 6 month lease. Neither of us expected our relationship to move so fast but we have decided that he will come and live with me and my children when his lease expires. Obviously I can't let him move in without spending some time with my children and seeing how he interacts in a family environment, so he stays over a couple of nights a week. After what happened last year I wanted to do the right thing so I went to see my officer at the DWP who has always had a thing against me to be honest. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her our intentions and explaining that we had to wait until he didn't need to pay rent on his flat. I was WRONG! You should have seen her eyes turn red and the satisfaction on her face! She immediately set about compiling an email to some relevant department effectively shopping me. She said he wasn't even allowed to stay one night in my house before he was expected to support me and my family and that they would have to be informed. When I said I thought it was 3 nights she said that was rubbish. I Got very upset and asked her what would happen if I'd gone to the pub and taken a random bloke home with me - if he stayed the night, would he then be expected to pay my council tax?

So now I'm scared, and my boyfriend can't pay my bills as well as his, although he would if he could and from February he will be. So what do I do? I wish I hadn't said anything at all.

midnight_express

cher1977 wrote: »

thanks for all who have replied to this. He does work yes, but does NOT pay anything to me whatsoever-- he does not eat at mine apart from maybe an occasional sunday roast.
he usually comes over after having had tea at home about 8:30pm and leaves at 6:30am for work only 3 times a week max.

Sounds like a real catch !

Alias_Omega

cher1977 wrote: »

Thread started - 26-11-2008, 7:59 AM

^^ Hope this clears this thread up.

cher1977

Can one of the admins for this site please delete this entire thread. I originally posted this in 2008 my situation has changed and i just don't need sarcastic comments about what i asked back then!

tescobabe69

Maybe you could stop looking then ?

FBaby

It's always the same thing, some people abusing the system to suit them affecting those genuine claimants. Of course there is nothing wrong with taking time in building up a relationship, especially when children are involved. It is the responsible thing to do, and that inevitably means that a boyfriend has to stay over for some time. I went out with my partner for 2 years before we moved in together, even though we were certain from the beginning that it was for keeps. I am not on benefits, so it wasn't an issue, but I would felt very uncomfortable if I'd felt pressured to move things faster because of financial concerns.

Unfortunately, the other side of the coin is too common, those who would have long moved in together if it was for the fact that they are much better off as boyfriend/girlfriend rather a 'couple' when the girlfriend is all the benefits she can get together. Many are very clever and know what to do. My ex did exactly that. He did live with his girlfriend who claimed the full single mother package, but they made sure that he rented a room, so all his mail was sent there. He only paid £10 a week there, on the understanding that he would help the owner with the garden and DIY. It was perfect. He did buy food for the family, bought many things for her house, and gave her money, but all this cash. He made sure to move no items of clothing etc... They did this for about 2 years until he lost his job and she fell pregnant, and they were suddenly not that much worse off together.. Still, some seem to manage to convince the authority that they are still not a couple despite having one, sometimes two children together...

I'm really sorry Sal that you were given such a hard time, but you must see how it could have seem that you were one of those couple. Don't be angry with the DWP, be angry with those who make the DWP so suspicious and thorough.

cher1977

tescobabe69 wrote: »

Maybe you could stop looking then ?

see its sarcastic people like you that make people not want to post anything on this forum!!!