Who pays for the bridesmaid dresses?

panpipe

ema_o wrote: »

It does sound like you are only spending this amount as your gran has kindly offered to pay, if I was in this situation I would be tempted to spend a bit more than planned on all 3 dresses (maybe £1500) but ask gran if she would mind if some of the money went towards specific other elements of the wedding.

Yes that's right, I wouldn't have dreamt of spending anywhere near that amount! The thing is now to try not to get too carried away! I'm sure she wouldn't mind if it was used for the other bridesmaid as well, not just my sis, or even if we used anything left over for other things - we'll just have to make sure we thank her very very much in the speeches!

SmlSave

I'm so glad I found this thread - I had no idea whether to pay for the dresses myself or ask the girls!?!

I'm currently having a heart attack at the thought of paying £300 for a wedding dress. lol. The poor bridesmaids have a budget of £50 each!

ClareEmily

My friend got married two years ago, I was a bridesmaid, she bought the dress £100 more with alterations and I got to keep it, I wore it again at my works dinner do.

Last year I got married and she was my bridesmaid along with my sister, as they were doing me the favour by agreeing to be my bridemaids I bought the dresses and their jewellery, they got to keep them.

£3,000 will get you a wedding dress, two bridesmaid dresses, jewellery, shoes and lots more.

ema_o

SmlSave wrote: »

I'm currently having a heart attack at the thought of paying £300 for a wedding dress. lol. The poor bridesmaids have a budget of £50 each!

I am bridesmaid for my friend along with two other girls - we found some gorgeous dresses in M&S autograph range for around £55 each, then as we had to order one in the price of that one was reduced to about £30. My friend bought the dresses, but actually I wouldn't have minded paying - since it is something we could wear again and at a great price. :T

Mrs7ones

ooo, don't get me started....
my DD has been asked to be a bridesmaid for a reletive of DH, and have been told we are paying for the dress (£150), shoes, head-dress, and hair-do!!:eek:

and no, she won't be able to wear it again as it'll probably only fir her for the day.
This (and mony more things concerning the wedding) has caused a huge rift in the family and came close to me and DH falling out!!
When we complained about the cost we were told to 'make a bit of effort for once':eek: ....

Purple_Sparkles

I've just stumbled across this thread and I'm amazed how selfish some people seem to be. I understand that some have a really tight budget and that if they agree with their bridesmaids/families that they all pitch in fair enough but to be told that you have to buy a dress etc... is outrageous.

I don't have any money but if I were getting married I'd certainly be paying for my bridesmaids dresses etc.... and they would get to keep everything, I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone else to pay, nice if they offer to contribute to the wedding fund but certainly wouldn't expect anything.

Sorry I just had to stick my thoughts in as I was basically gobsmacked!

JimmyTheWig

Mrs7ones wrote: »

When we complained about the cost we were told to 'make a bit of effort for once'

No, that's not on. It's not like you're being asked to stump up £15 to make the day happen for your daughter. £150 is a lot of money - that's a lot of sacrifices to be made by your family to fit in with someone else's big day. I'd say no.

Purple_Sparkles wrote: »

I've just stumbled across this thread and I'm amazed how selfish some people seem to be.

That's not the impression I've got from the thread. Nearly everyone is saying, from the way I'm reading it, that the bride and groom should pay. Generally other opinions have been from bridesmaids saying "I was happy to pay for my own dress...".
Other than Mrs7ones' DH's relative I'm not sure there's been much selfishness at all.

*Louise*

Mrs7ones wrote: »

ooo, don't get me started....
my DD has been asked to be a bridesmaid for a reletive of DH, and have been told we are paying for the dress (£150), shoes, head-dress, and hair-do!!:eek:

and no, she won't be able to wear it again as it'll probably only fir her for the day.
This (and mony more things concerning the wedding) has caused a huge rift in the family and came close to me and DH falling out!!
When we complained about the cost we were told to 'make a bit of effort for once':eek: ....

I think that is absolutely shocking!!!

It's one thing to be asked, maybe by someone who you know is having to budget really hard,it's quite another thing to be TOLD.:mad:

*Louise*

Purple_Sparkles wrote: »

I don't have any money but if I were getting married I'd certainly be paying for my bridesmaids dresses etc.... and they would get to keep everything, I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone else to pay, nice if they offer to contribute to the wedding fund but certainly wouldn't expect anything.

That's the way I see it.

panpipe

Purple_Sparkles wrote: »

I've just stumbled across this thread and I'm amazed how selfish some people seem to be. I understand that some have a really tight budget and that if they agree with their bridesmaids/families that they all pitch in fair enough but to be told that you have to buy a dress etc... is outrageous.

I don't have any money but if I were getting married I'd certainly be paying for my bridesmaids dresses etc.... and they would get to keep everything, I wouldn't dream of expecting anyone else to pay, nice if they offer to contribute to the wedding fund but certainly wouldn't expect anything.

Sorry I just had to stick my thoughts in as I was basically gobsmacked!

I certainly wouldn't dream of telling anyone they had to buy their own dress! I'm horrified if that's the impression I've been giving!

I was more interested in what other people have done/what they think, and whether there is any etiquette/tradition for this kind of thing.

Mrs7ones - how awful for you and DD to be put under that pressure! *hugs*