Biting at Nursery Do I Complain!!

Mummyboo

My 3 year DS has been bitten at nursery 3 times. :eek:

Now I understand that kids go through the biting stage but my DS is a very quite child (at nursery not at home) and I worry he is becoming a target!

The bites were done by 2 different children (he was bitten twice by 1 child and once by a different child today). The nursery say they will speak to the children but this keeps happening. How do I complain without looking like an overreacting parent.

The nursery is very good (apart from this) and I would like him to stay here. If anyone should leave it should be these kids and not him.

What shall I do???

ceebeeby

No - you don't complain (or if you do, you will be over-acting) Ask the teacher to keep a wee eye if it makes you feel better.

I guess if it carry's on excessively (more than 10???), you might want to consider that the teachers aren't supervising quite enough, or that if its the same child doing it, the parents might need to intervene (i.e. undertake 1-1 supervision of the child)

Fortunately they don't expel toddlers for biting, otherwise there wouldn't be any children left in school. It probably upsets the parents more than it does the child.

Ivrytwr3

my 4 year old started school in September this year and 3 x times has come home with bumps and scrapes. The lastest one looks like someone has dragged his face across the tarmac. I have taken photographs this time as i too am getting worried.

I will keep an eye on this thread and see others advice!

gaskypasky

When this happened to my son I spoke to the room supervisor and expressed my concerns, then when that didn't solve it, to the nursery manager. As i had a good relationship with all the staff, they could see I wasn't just over reacting, but had genuine concerns. They monitored my son closely, found the culprit and concentrated on training him out of the behaviour. Although it still happened occasionally for a couple of weeks, knowing the other parents and the staff were working to eliminate the behaviour made me feel better....although it didn't stop my son screaming when he got bitten again.
After a month at most, it stopped, and to my total embarrassment my son became the biter....so we've been at both ends.
Nursery staff would rather you spoke to them about genuine concerns than you be unhappy. As you are aware of not becoming over reactive you should be fine.
Good luck- and I found Kamilosan (for sore nipples after breast feeding) was the best to kill the pain in the bite, but was also safe to ingest, incase he put his fingers in his mouth.
S

onlyroz

A lot of children go through a biting phase (my son did). A nursery will be extremely reluctant to exclude a child on grounds of biting unless it continues for a long time without any improvement.

The issue is more likely to do with adequate supervision of the children and the way it is dealt with if a bite does occur. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless your child is coming home every day with a new bite.

Moneybubbles

I would say is DO talk to the nursery,it's upsetting you and your concerend, they should be working in parntership with you so PLEASE do talk about it.

Your child as you say is quite at nursery, the staff need to be watching a little closer as to why he is being a target (I would say because he is quite!!:o ) It is something children do (my dd was a biter:eek: but much younger 15 months) we used target stickers, reward charts and lots and lots of postivie interaction and after 2-3 weeks she stopped. I was very very lucky as she only bite my ds and one one of my mindies (I am a childminder). I sat down with the parents and explained the fact it is very common and def not a lack of supervision in my case, I just had to sit next to her like a hawk when she got too close to ds and would really distract her! lol

BUT as your ds is 3, I am guessing he is in the pre-school room with other 3/4 yr olds? What gets me is you say the staff say they will talk to the children surley something should of been said at the point it happened.

hope this gets sorted out, if it was a room of 12months up I wouldn;t be so concered myself as much younger to understand.

bluebell13

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

my 4 year old started school in September this year and 3 x times has come home with bumps and scrapes. The lastest one looks like someone has dragged his face across the tarmac. I have taken photographs this time as i too am getting worried.

I will keep an eye on this thread and see others advice!

When my son now 6 started at school we were getting a slip a week from the First Aid room because he was falling over in the playground, bumping into other children etc etc!! He was always very careful at home and never had bumps and bruises unlike DD who runs everywhere and constantly trips up! When there are lots of children running around in a playground then they do fall over/collide quite often. What exactly is it that you are worried about?

Paparika

hmm I used to be an ankle biter, when i was a little girl, but i only did it if i was being threatened and hit by someone else, i bit my cousin when i was about 7 because he took my scooter and refused to give it back and kept pushing me away when i tried to get it back so i bit him, mum found out and bit me. never did it again

Ivrytwr3

Our first child starting school and we don't know whether this is the norm!!

It's been approx 7 weeks for us and we have had 3 first aid slips. The first 2 were marks to the face/chin and he was telling us he was pushed over (i know he is a child who likes to run around playing goodies and baddies!!).

But this third one, seriously part of his face is a mess, it looks like he fell/was pushed and just skidded on his face!!!

So, i'm not sure whether this is to be expected or whether i should be speaking with the school.

bluebell13

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

Our first child starting school and we don't know whether this is the norm!!

It's been approx 7 weeks for us and we have had 3 first aid slips. The first 2 were marks to the face/chin and he was telling us he was pushed over (i know he is a child who likes to run around playing goodies and baddies!!).

But this third one, seriously part of his face is a mess, it looks like he fell/was pushed and just skidded on his face!!!

So, i'm not sure whether this is to be expected or whether i should be speaking with the school.

Did his teacher give you any explanation for the third one? DS has had 2 such incidents. The first time another child was swinging him round by the coat and let go causing him to fall on his face. He had a swollen and bleeding nose and I was called into the classroom by his teacher who explained what had happened and that the other child involved had been spoken to. The second time (only last week!) he came out with a huge egg-shaped bump on his forehead and again the teacher came to speak to OH. This time DS had just gone flying in the playground.

If there is facial damage I would expect some sort of acknowledgement/explanation from the teacher. For bumps and bruises I would say it is normal playground behaviour unless it is one child constantly pushing him over in which case I would monitor it a bit more closely.

Its always hard when the first child starts school. Its a whole new world!

Mummyboo

Thanks for all your responses.

Can I just get it straight I am not expecting these kids to be excluded the point I was trying to make is that if this continues I will feel like I have to remove him from the nursery and my point was that I shouldn't feel like this as he is not the one who is misbehaving.

He has had many bumps and scrapes at school and I accept this is part of being a child, however a bite to me is different especially 3 times.

Also I know that kids go through a bitting stage (he did too and it was soon nipped in the bud and he has never bitten another child).

But it does keep happening I mean how many times is too many???

Upto 10 was sugested but in my eyes 3 is too many. If he was the one doing the bitting I would take it very seriously. I think I will just ask them to keep an eye on him. But if it happens again I am definately going to complain.

I wouldn't expect him to behave like that so why should I accept it from anyone else's child???