teenager starting full time work - how much 'board' to pay for living at home?

oystercatcher

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Although I agree about looking at outgoings together, I don't see that it's a question of what he offers. OP needs to decide what to charge him and then stick to it; it shouldn't be voluntary.

I disagree, it should be voluntary. If he's not happy and moves out then OP will be even worse off.
If a family set up works properly then everything, within reason, should be discussed and decided on. Everyone should help out each other.
If the son see's what effect his earnings have on the household, then IF he's been well brought up and is generous then he should contribute what is suitable from his side and his families!
In my situation I choose to help my son, If we had less income I like to think he'd help us out. That's what families are all about .

Oystercatcher

Oldernotwiser

oystercatcher wrote: »

I disagree, it should be voluntary. If he's not happy and moves out then OP will be even worse off.
If a family set up works properly then everything, within reason, should be discussed and decided on. Everyone should help out each other.
If the son see's what effect his earnings have on the household, then IF he's been well brought up and is generous then he should contribute what is suitable from his side and his families!
In my situation I choose to help my son, If we had less income I like to think he'd help us out. That's what families are all about .

Oystercatcher

That sounds fine in theory but what if the son's like an earlier poster on this thread who pays only £25 per week and says he'd move out if he was asked to pay £50? What would you do then?

Rikki

If the contribution is voluntary what lesson is that teaching?

When a child becomes an adult and earns a wage they need to learn the value of money. You try to give them an idea of the costs they are likely to pay if the have their own place. If you leave it up to them they will have money just to waste and never really learn to budget. I'm not saying divide the house costs and make him contribute but he should pay at least a third of his take home pay towards the running costs of the home and the services he gets.

It shouldn't matter if you need the money or not. Its about helping to prepare them for the future.

Rikki

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That sounds fine in theory but what if the son's like an earlier poster on this thread who pays only £25 per week and says he'd move out if he was asked to pay £50? What would you do then?

Pack his bags for him.

.........and in later life when the bank puts his mortgage up, will he just move out?

oystercatcher

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

That sounds fine in theory but what if the son's like an earlier poster on this thread who pays only £25 per week and says he'd move out if he was asked to pay £50? What would you do then?

If he's a decent son he wouldn't do that.
If he does do that then he'd be welcome to move out and see what the real world is like!

My point is they should have learned ALREADY the value of money and the worth of their family. So then they would naturally choose to help.

If you bring your children up to be selfish little g!ts then it's probably too late to teach them a lesson.

Oystercatcher

northern_star

Thanks everyone for your responses. I intend to sit down with DS and show him the maths. Our utilities (gas, elec, phone, internet, household insurance, tv licence etc) come in at around £60 per week. We think it fair to ask him to contribute a third of this plus money towards food/shopping and a little towards depreciation/maintenance. He eats very little but does tend to have some food preferences (particular cereals, pizza’s etc) which increase our weekly shopping bill. Even so, we manage to shop for around £60 per week. Again we think a third of this fair. He already buys his own clothes, personal toiletries, pays his sports subs, mob top ups etc. Like everyone, he has costs for getting to and from work and is currently paying for driving lessons. He’s also planning to save as much as possible to be able to buy a computer for himself asap and towards his longer-term goal of a car. On reflection and after reading the replies, we think £50 rather than our original £35 is more realistic. Hopefully this will help him better understand the cost of things while still having control over the majority of his money.

FWIW, we are disappointed that he has chosen to leave college but he was desperately unhappy on his course and there was no option to change programme during this current academic year . He may decide to return next September on a more appropriate course. Meanwhile at least he has a job and the opportunity for learning some valuable lessons about the adult world and the consequences of his decisions.

Thanks again
NS

naturally_2

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

The OP has a total household income of £17K! What on earth makes you think that they might not need the money?

Let the OP decide that. Its not your or my place to make judgements on what the OP's family can and can't afford, particularly as we don't know the full facts.

naturally_2

Glad you have come to a well thought out conclusion :T

arthur_dent_2

£50 per week sounds very fair on a £170 a week salary. I would also encourage him to put the same amount again into a savings account.

Oldernotwiser

naturally wrote: »

Let the OP decide that. Its not your or my place to make judgements on what the OP's family can and can't afford, particularly as we don't know the full facts.

Sometimes you need to apply a little common sense. You assumed the money wasn't needed, I assumed it was. On a joint family income of only £17,000, I think that my assumption was more reasonable.

Anyway, it's not about whether the money is needed or not, it's about preparing your children for independance.