Any good advice to stop me spending?

PinkTwirl

sarahb123 wrote: »

I am very pleased to meet a fellow Pier lover, in fact I am holding one of their lovely glasses right now (from the 30% off sale- a bargain):D

You just made me laugh

Thanks to everyone for their replies, and yes, I have heard that the most real friends people usually have you can count on one hand. I guess admitting to my root cause has upset me a bit but needed to be done.

I should be wearing Armani or whatever the in-label is these days with the amount of debt I've chalked up! Pity I'm not ha ha

I hope I've not upset anyone with any of this, just needing to admit some root causes of my mess to myself, hopefully a financial recovery at least will be on the cards (or off them if you see what I mean - boom boom!)

whatatwit

Pink, it's very easy to make 'needy' and 'high maintenance' friends, who are there when you are listening to them.....have a bit of a wobble yourself and they head for the hills.

Good for you for volunteering, hope it goes ok.

I've recently been chatting to a poster from the boards, we've yet to meet, but so far we've both had a good moan as well as a natter.

taxi73

Hi there,
You can't be lonely on here and will meet loads of virtual friends.It's true that most people only have a couple of very close friends..myself included.
Perhaps it's boredom that really lies at the root of it and you have great ideas to get yourself out of that trap so that's a great start.Also looking at your sig you are doing fantasically at clearing your debts...
You will probably get the same buzz with going to the gym as you do with shopping so that can replace that buzz for you .

savingholmes

Hi - most of my debt is due to boredom/previous depression/bad habits. I know what you mean about not having enough friends either... I did try joining the gym once as an alternative but it didn't stick. I also tried on-line supermarket shopping as an alternative to go in there but that didn't work for me it meant I didn't have any legit need to go but felt compelled to go anyway as I hadn't had my fix.

I joined the (make) £10 a day challenge, mainly so that even if I fall off the rails a little bit I have a cushion - have you tried that at all?

Look ofrward to hearing from you...

Lula-Hula

Hi Pink Twirl,

hopefully some of the replies you've had will help you to realise that you're not alone & your reasons for getting into debt are similar to many other people's.

In the space of a few months my 2 closest friends who I saw regularly both moved; one to Scotland & the other to Cornwall so as I live in Surrey I felt very isolated for a while. It's great that you've joined a gym & as others have said try joining local interest groups. Your local papers / library should give you a good idea of what activities are going on.

I have a 9 year old daughter so I really dont get out much at the moment but as she grows up I fully intend to get myself out & about more. Keeping busy is key to not spending money to relieve boredom & as Buffy says ; make sure you only use cash.

You know there's plenty of us who are both single & in debt :rolleyes: & that may not be a conventional way to make friends but the people on that thread are lovely & certainly help me to feel like I have company in the evenings & are there to share thoughts & advice & support, have a chat, moan or rant & are non judgmentental & sympathetic.

Take care & lots of hugs to you

Lula xx

PinkTwirl

Hi,

Thanks to all who posted back. Yes, the high maintenance friends have always been there it seems - quick on the put-downs and sponge for free meals and drinks but when it came to it when I needed help, they were gone! I put a stop to all of these people that were still in my life. Some also lost interest when I stopped funding their sponging.

Hopefully the gym will help me out in the being occupied stakes. I will have a look at the £10 thread.

DoWhatULove-LoveWhatUDo

Who doesn't love The Pier? So many lovely things but sadly having only one bank balance to fund them with and one small flat to fill forces me to be sensible most of the time.

I moved a few months ago, to a town where I knew absolutely noone, so I don't really have any deep friendships in my new hometown yet. I have people from work to go and out and play with though, and I've made one good friend on MSE. Chatting on here is a form of socialness isnt it?

Sometimes people have to leave our lives to make room for new and better ones. Let's hope this is the position we both find ourselves in now, and that the new and improved life is just around the next corner.

I've never had more than one or two really good friends, and the quality of those relationships has deteriorated due to our life changes. They married and had babies. I moved away.

Loneliness is a tough one, but I keep plugging away, trying to keep an open mind and a smile on my face and hoping that things improve. In the meantime I am fitter and more well read than I've ever been in my life!