xmas presents

jonathon

2 out of 3 of my children dont talk to me or have contact 1 is 18 the other is 21. I allways buy them xmas presents but never get any thanks, so this year I thought about getting them a goat for a family through oxfam what do you think ?

98jdougl

that sounds like a great idea tbh, you can always pop over to the special occassions board for christmas ideas.
But this is good, if they don't give you thanks then why go to the time, effort and money of findig them something- this way someone much worse off benefits and you have still given them a christmas gift.
go for it
x

lisaloo1977

Just to add, I think it is a fantastic idea also.

bestpud

Sounds good to me.

It's difficult as you obviously don't want to give nothing but don't want to think they are taking the p1$$ either?

Seems an ideal compromise to me.

Maybe tell them in a card how much you think of them etc too though. If you feel that way, of course, but I'm guessing you do or you wouldn't bother buying gifts.

whitewing

I can see where you're coming from, and I think if they were older (25+), I may agree with the goat idea.

Personally I would send them a voucher each and accept that you won't be thanked. They're still your kids so the gift should be for them with no strings attached or guilt-invoking feelings. And yes, I know they are old enough to realise the impact etc etc but you're still their dad.

bulchy

I think its a great idea. I have family that I dont speak to, (my brother, oh's sisters) and have said this year, I'm not buying the kids gifts for xmas, there all over 20 years old now so I would only be buying small token gifts anyway, I might do this instead, thanks for the idea.
Sue

bestpud

whitewing wrote: »

I can see where you're coming from, and I think if they were older (25+), I may agree with the goat idea.

Personally I would send them a voucher each and accept that you won't be thanked. They're still your kids so the gift should be for them with no strings attached or guilt-invoking feelings. And yes, I know they are old enough to realise the impact etc etc but you're still their dad.

And he would still be acknowledging them...

No excuse for not sending even a begrudging thanks imo!

starbump

I reckon it depends on why your kids don't have contact with you.

They are still your kids, no matter what happens/happened. Maybe they will appreciate the thought and care you put into their gifts in years to come, even if they don't now. OTOH, maybe there are good reasons to cut your losses. A charity donation (in my name) as my only gift from my dad would say a lot to me...

elainew

I wouldnt buy them anything if they can't even say thanks. they dont have to speak verbally but an email costs nothing and a stamped letter is what 30p??

shadej

Im inclined to say why don't they speck to you.
There must be a reason, Maybe getting to the bottom and solving that
might give you both the best xmas present ever, each other.

feelinggood_2

I'd ask yourself WHY you buy presents. If you are buying presents to get a response, then you could stop as it isn't working. If you are buying presents to show that you are thinking of them, then the lack of response shouldn't be an issue.