Ex Partner

love24

Thank you to everyone's kind advice.

I haven't taken any posts the wrong way, I understand that I can't be inlove one minute and then out of love the next.
The reason I left my ex partner was because I was unsure if I loved her anymore, she changed alot the last two years that we were together and that made my feelings for her disappear.
I know that some people may say I can never go back, but I do still love her and I know if I don't tell her I still do then I will have to carry that with me for the rest of my life not knowing what we had was meant to be.


The reason a contact centre is involved is because my ex partner refused to let me see our child after I ended our relationship and solicitors were brought in and a contact centre was arranged as a first point of visiting until my ex got use to the relationship ending.


I now know I made a msiake ending our relationship, I may be 18 months to late but I had to be sure that I did still feel love and not just miss her.
I know that I may never be able to rebuild the relationship but I want her to know the reasons why I ended the relationship and that I do still love her.

With regards "Relate" the solicitors gave advice to my ex about them arranging this but she failed to attend on the five appointments that were made.


Thank-You to everyone who has given there advice:o

Money_maker

It sounds as though you didn't communicate very well before you left, shame you couldn't have sat down together and had a heart to heart about how you had both changed.
Loving someone and being able to live with them dont necessarily go hand in hand. It would be unfair to start something that you may both regret.
I would suggest contacting her to meet up for a coffee somewhere. She may refuse and if she does then let it lie. If she agrees, just meet and chat without pouring out your heart. She may have moved on and if that is the case, perhaps you could stay in contact amicably for the sake of your child. If she appears interested, take it slow and TALK!

Pssst

There were obviously reasons why you ended the relationship. Its often becuase family life becomes humdrumsville and suddenly your checking out good looking girls that seems to be in your face all the time. sometimes you catch their eye and a message flows in a microsecond. Suddenly you feel a little bit trapped,regimented,accountable and dare i say committed. The grass seems greener. Was this how it was for you?

Jo_R_2

You say you left mainly because she changed a lot towards the end of the relationship and your feelings for her disappeared because of this.

So you are essentially saying that now with the benefit of hindsight these changes that you couldn't get on with at the time are now not important to you? They were obviously major enough for you to end the relationship when you did. I'm not trying to demean your feelings in any way, just getting you to think of the whys and wherefores of what happened then and what is happening now.

And Pssst - gads that's scary, are you talking from experience?!

consultant31

Pssst wrote: »

There were obviously reasons why you ended the relationship. Its often becuase family life becomes humdrumsville and suddenly your checking out good looking girls that seems to be in your face all the time. sometimes you catch their eye and a message flows in a microsecond. Suddenly you feel a little bit trapped,regimented,accountable and dare i say committed. The grass seems greener. Was this how it was for you?

Gosh, do you write romantic novels Pssst?

HariboJunkie

Pssst wrote: »

There were obviously reasons why you ended the relationship. Its often becuase family life becomes humdrumsville and suddenly your checking out good looking girls that seems to be in your face all the time. sometimes you catch their eye and a message flows in a microsecond. Suddenly you feel a little bit trapped,regimented,accountable and dare i say committed. The grass seems greener. Was this how it was for you?

I'm sure a great many people go through this or something similar at some point. I would hope, though I have my doubts, that most people would consider the needs of a child over their feelings of boredom though.

lowis

the pair of you should have communicated before you split up, talked about the changes which were bothering you...and i assume her, as she changed her behaviour towards you?

you also need to communicate NOW. like others, i would suggest taking it nice and slowly, don't scare her away by pouring out your heart, be an adult and broach the subject gently, and i too would suggest Relate - the problems that caused you to split up in the first place won't have gone away anywhere, they are still there and will resurface if you get back together, you have to deal with them to give you the best chance.

good luck.

pinkshoes

Good relationships take a lot of hard work, and sometimes you only realise how much a person means to you when it's too late.

You need to communicate with her. Perhaps send her a letter, explaining why you left, how you *think* you still feel now, the things you miss about her, and whether she'd like to meet up for a coffee. Put in the letter that you understand how much you hurt her by leaving, so completely understand if she thinks this is a bad idea and doesn't want anything to do with you.

If she says no, she says no, but at least you tried, and can then move on.

Pssst

consultant31 wrote: »

Gosh, do you write romantic novels Pssst?

I have always fancied myself as a writer of bodice rippers. I have a good imagination..:)