It is tough NOW. So how are we coping

Reverbe

Sorry to ask but what's Mr T's?

bellybabe_2

Reverbe wrote: »

Sorry to ask but what's Mr T's?

Tesco. Mr A= Asda, etc.

I smetimes pick up my dried milk in Scotmid, Mardatha - probably not the cheapest but definitely handy and it's one of the weird things they sometimes sell in their broken/bashed/generally strange whoopsie shelf!

Really feel for all of you who are having such difficult times and I'm glad some lurkers are posting. Reverbe, your experience sounds horrible. Carly, I agree with the others about the benefits board - the IS just doesn't sound right - I was left alone with a 2 year old, and got about £80 a week for the two of us - but that was a few years ago now and the system changes all the time. I agree with other people about the maintenance - ok, he's paying half the mortgage, but then that's his - he owns half the house; he also has half the responsibility for your daughter! I'd better stop now before I get all het up - lack of maintenance/CSA incompetence etc is one of my very sore spots!
I agree with countingthepennies - being a single parent is really hard.

Oh, and thanks for all the scouse recipes - guess I was cmpletely wrong about what it is!

BB

Cinny91

Dried milk is near the milkshake bits in my Mr.A too thought I'd chip in!!

Going to approved food after work today :T mental shopping list for food for next weekend. Looked online yesterday and all the blueberry jam has gone. just my luck!!

mardatha

ok thanks all , I can look in asda and there's a co-op near my son's place, I can ask him to get some

[Deleted User]

Carly84 wrote: »

Hello all.
This is my first post, although I have been getting MSE email & keeping my eye on the forums for a while now.

I am in desperate need of advice please.
I am a single mum to my beautiful 13 month old daughter. My husband & I split at the beginning of this year, when I was still on Maternity Leave from my job as an Account Manager, recieving SMP. I have stayed in the house with our baby & my husband pays his half of the mortgage on the understanding that I eventually buy him out.
He doesnt help in any other way, eg maintanence, but I have been happy with our arangement for the sake of keeping the peace!
When my SMP came to an end, I handed my notice in (as I worked field based, 50 hours a week) & took a part time job at a local opticians, working 21 hours a week so that I could still be there as much as possible for my daughter. I recieved CTC & WTC.
I coped perfectly fine.
Then 2 weeks ago, I was instantly dismissed from work! It was very unfair but after seeking legal advice from ACAS, CAB & a solicitor, there is nothing I can do as I havent been employed with them for 12 months!
I went straight to the recruiment agency & gave them my all my details, hoping for a job asap then went to the jobcentre & made my claim for Income Support, telling them what my husband pays.
As I have a mortgage, they wont help with any housing costs for 39 weeks.
Then I recieved the letter that tells me what Income support I will be recieving.......£26.27 a week!!!!
With that, my husbands half of the mortgage (£235 a month) and CTC, I will get a grand total monthly income of £515!!! The mortgage alone costs £470!
What can I do? I have rang them & they said its right but I have no idea how the hell I am going to cope.
I am well educated & prepared to take almost ANY job. The only set back is that it needs to be part time with set days & times as I rely on childcare.
I have never claimed any benefits before.
I have been lucky enough (from reading this site!!) to beable to claim for some of the grants available that I previously had no idea existed & this week they came to do my cavity wall insulation. They are coming next week to do the loft insulation & the one bit of recent good news I recieved was that I am eligible for a Warm Front grant to have a new heating system.
I currently have the old style back boiler with none of the timers/thermostats working, no immersion button, takes 2 hours to heat water for bath, then its gone again! and no radiator in the biggest room in the house, the living room!
I am conscious about energy sving...using energy saving lightbulbs, switching things off (lights, electricals etc) and avoid having the heating on & use blankets, extra clothing & a little halogen heater. But even with that my gas bill is £54 a month & my electricity bill is £74 a month!
With the measures that are being taken, I am sure to see a massive improvement in he heat in our home & the bills but in the meantime I am wondering if anybody out there knows of any other help I am entitled to?
How do other people manage to live?
I have done everything the 'right' way & its all gone wrong. I have always been such a confident, happy go lucky, doting mummy & independent woman but this has really knocked the wind out of me & I feel like a failure to my daughter.
The other 'bad' thing is that we have got a holiday booked & paid for, for the first 3 weeks of Jan ( I wouldve cancelled if I didnt stand to lose all my money) so if I was lucky enough to find a job before Christmas, the chances of them employing me when I wont be there for the first 3 weeks of the new year, are slim!
My husband wouldnt help out in any other way. I know he has a legal repsonsibility for the house as he stills owns half, but you cant expect the unexpected - he has to live & also has another child.
I have possibly got a job lined up for the end of Jan, when we return from our hols but that is weeks away yet & I have no idea how the hell we are going to pay the next 2 months (at least) of bills & mortgage.
Can anybody help please?
Thank u.

I am not sure, but would you not qualify for Jobseekers Allowance? Not a huge amount but more than the income support you are receiving?

[Deleted User]

I also want to give a big welcome to all the new posters. This is not a `closed shop` thread and we welcome anyone who wants to join our online community, even if just to say hello

Lots of hugs to all the people in difficulties right now and who can`t sleep with worry. Just know that you are not alone and if you want to vent then come on the thread and you will get tea, cake and a ready ear and a lot of sympathy

I look after my dh`s sipp and it is a right battle to keep it floating above water. Good job there is 4 years to go to vesting (turning to a pension). The interest rate in sipps is now about 0.1% on cash so I am wheeling and dealing at the moment. I heard on the grapevine that gov bonds (gilts) are not as safe as once thought because the country is so darn broke. I feel the only really safe thing just now is my storecupbard!!!

Does anyone feel really christmassy yet? I can`t get the spirit at all this year in spite of being ready

I`m just editing to say I have made another order from
http://www.frozenfishdirect.co.uk/

The fish is excellent and delivered fully frozen. So that`ll be my diddy 4 drawer freezer full and I`m ready for whatever winter brings

oh I forgot also made an order from
http://www.chemistdirect.co.uk/

Another very good place to buy from. I have stocked up on the covonias

Has anyone seen Sammy kaye? I miss her lively chat and good os ways

mardatha

Sammy Kaye has computer probs Kittie.
Carly84 - the problem might be that you said your husband GIVES YOU £xxx for the mortgage. You need to get that separately and tell the jobcentre people that you get nothing. They will expect you to live off his money & not pay the mortgage. It's all inhow you word it with them , you have to be careful. x

Primrose

Carly84 - would it be possible for you to advertise for a lodger?
It may not be an ideal situation for you with a small child but if you live near a college or university there are usually students seeking accommodation. I think you're allowed to take about £4000 in annual rent which is not taxable.

Cinny91

Keep your eyes open on approved food over the next few days, they had a delivery while me and my mum were there. The big boxes of maltesers for £1.50, mr kipling mince pies 2 boxes for £1.50. Might be online, I didn't ask though. Also managed to get a pot of the Harrods blueberry jam :T (on the site as a famous london shop) My mum got a tub of piccalilli that they've just posted on the site but Mum just said it was horrible, just a polite warning incase you were eyeing it up.


Kittie - I'm not feeling very christmassy yet either, but I'm planning on getting cozy on the sofa tomorrow and watching muppets christmas carol so it all might change by this time tomorrow.

MRSMCAWBER

Evening all

I have only been away 4 days and HOW MUCH have I got to catch up on :eek: :rotfl: ..I have escaped the hospital for the weekend :j -although I have to be back early monday morning... at least I get to catch up before it gets out of control
I have pacified myself this week by lying on my bed plotting my veggies further -ready for the new season and so I can get my blog updated... I was in a private room with TV and on suite wet room :eek: -So I tried to convince myself that it was just like a holiday -complete with room service and the fact that the cleaner came in every day :rotfl: ,and what about what I saved by not eating at home .....
I have decided that we are cutting further back as of the new year -I know that I can trim back the grocery budget without really feeling it;) ... We had a nice surprise with the gas/electric this week - Its taken straight from hubbies wages every month -and they only give out statements once a year :eek: -so we have just had our statement and they owe us just over £200 :j ..which will get paid back into hubbies account.. so it works out that we have paid an average of £65 a month for gas and electric -and that includes having a bathroom extractor fan that wouldn't go off for a year :rolleyes: and it was before I got my remoska..so Im quite happy with that -especially with the price increases........
oh and another :j moment is that the petrol for the car has dropped..so its now just about 35p a litre :eek: .... so we have had as many petrol coupons as we are allowed and stashed them -they should last us a couple of months:D
We are putting to one side any extra we save whilst fuel is this low -ready for any increases
hope everyone is getting by ok,,,,