buying a house with son-any pitfalls?

lincroft1710

Both Margaret Clare and Mrs Optimist have given good advice from different perspectives.

neverdespairgirl

margaretclare wrote: »

More recently, my DH has been very seriously ill in recent weeks and nearly died. We are determined to make the most of every moment of every day we have left.

I have little sympathy with 'investments to be left to the children'. Let them make their own way in the world, assuming you did your best for them throughout childhood and adolescence and they are equipped to earn a living.

Sorry to hear your DH has been ill - hope he is on the mend.

My Granny won £9k on a lottery syndicate a few years before she died. She wanted to save the money or give it to my mother and uncle, "leaving them something". My mother and uncle knew she'd hated her carpets since she'd moved in, but hadn't been able to get new ones without borrowing, which she didn't want to do. They encouraged her to do what she wanted with it, and she got her new carpets, enjoyed them for 4 years, and spent the rest of the money on day trips, weekends away, and theatre tickets, over a few years.

By far the best thing. Don't see all your money as leaving it to the children, they are (I presume) now grown up and responsible for themselves.

My OH's grandfather refused to buy new clothes after he was 80 because "I won't get value out of them". He lived until he was 96, and everyone had to give him jumpers and pyjamas for presents, because he was so short of clothes to wear!

margaretclare

Quite honestly, you never know what is round the corner, what will come up out of 'left field' and hit you when you're least expecting it. That's why DH and I still save in retirement years. It's amazing what a difference it makes being able to get things done for you, not wait to be 'assessed by social services' and then have to wait for them to provide what they think you may need, rather than what you can see for yourself that you need. I knew I wanted to replace that shower enclosure, the 'step-in' was too high for me when I fractured my pelvis last year and when I had hip revision surgery the year before. Now, we have a 'low-profile' modern curved enclosure which is 4 inches - we couldn't have any lower because of joists and floorboards, and old drains to connect to. DH still cannot use it, not until he gets his leg out of a splint and that won't be until he goes back to have his knee-joint reconstructed - the infection, which became septicaemia, started in a replaced knee. But he'll enjoy using it soon, and for whatever time we have left.

I like the account of neverdespairgirl's granny's carpets - exactly what I would have done myself.

grumpy-old-woman_2

thank you everyone. well there are certainly a few things to think about there. I will have to think really long and hard and decide what I would like to do etc but you have given me some things to think about. thank you all again.