Last hope for Free Divorce Advice

wannabe_sybil

This is definitely my last post on this thread.

In the original post you mention a lot of affairs. Was the latest episode of adultery known about for more than six months? Or did your friend just know that he had been adulterous in the past and then find out about this relationship and then separate? Because that can be a legitimate way to cite adultery.

It is rarer than a dodo to find a divorce successfully contested and your friend's husband will almost certainly tire of paying solicitors' fees.

Also, should your friend cite unreasonable behaviour as grounds for divorce she may put as evidence of that unreasonable behaviour the ongoing adultery.

Valli

Some solicitors do a free half hour interview.

She could go to a few of these in order to find a solicitor she feels she can work with. Asking them all different questions.

Some allow you to pay monthly...

Contact CSA for some child support.

She also needs to 'know' bank account etc details for her ex reeady to complete Form E.

Tell her to save all wage slips, bank statements etc they will be needed...

Check solicitors hourly rates too before committing - they vary vastly and if it goes uncontested and can be kept out of court it will be much cheaper...

If she is in a union they might help - ie reasonable time off work for appointments. If she waits for 2 years (presumably he wants a divorce too) you can go for '2 years separation with consent...'

There is advice available on line too. Worth a google.

If he is living with another partner I cannot see why he would even be allowed to contest the divorce. That in itself is unreasonable behaviour, as is not paying adequate child support. I would estimate a cost of £3000-£4000 in court WITHOUT a barrister. She can also apply for costs (ie he pays for the divorce) which may or may not be awarded.

How do I know all this? Divorced twice. Who ever said divorce is EASY is WRONG!

Links to the court service for further info
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/divorce/index.htm

HTH

Stormdart

thanx Valli, he will definitely contest it cos he somewhere along the line thinks she will take him back... yeah rite! She dont know his bank details this was his seperate life!! She cant afford to pay any bills/ fees for the divorce.

flufff

It sounds to me like he is mentally abusive and financially manipulative.She could get a divorce on unreasonable behaviour.I think its 5 years for uncontested or 2 years if parties mutually agree.If she divorces him over adultery there is a time period that I think the other party is deemed to have accepted it but am sure its alot longer than 6 months.If she divorces him over adultery she would get a greater share.
My advice to her would be to give up workand to immediate seperate her finances from his.I think her employer would be sensitive to her needs if they knew.She may qualify for legal aid if she claims benefits.She does not deserve any of this.The hardest bit is the first step in getting out.

Valli

Stormdart wrote: »

thanx Valli, he will definitely contest it cos he somewhere along the line thinks she will take him back... yeah rite! She dont know his bank details this was his seperate life!! She cant afford to pay any bills/ fees for the divorce.

Tell her to arrange the free interviews.
Phone round ask fees charged per hour and for a free initial half hour consultation.
Have questions written down - she needs to make notes.
Start though with the HMRC site. She can apply for legal aid and may not get it, in any case it would be clawed back from a settlement, she can pay weekly/monthly (my ex did), and her solicitors could apply for costs from he OH. Once she gets a solicitor involved he (ie her exOH) will and then he will be told what it is going to cost him. Right now he is having what he wants.
Tell her to be strong...
and NEVER sob in the solicitors - waaaay too expensive - friends are MUCH cheaper for sobbing to even if she has to buy the vino.

Good luck!

Stormdart

thanx for the advice, plenty vodka already, lol :-)

Valli

Happy to help. They do suggest mediation BTW especially where kids are involved not necessarily to bring the parties back together but to agree things ie access, chlkd support, before court which IS cheaper IF the mediation agreement is enacted by the court but that to has to be paid for - however judges take a dim view apparently if mediation is not attended. She will no doubt be told this if she attends for free interviews.
They really are good and will save time and money...and help her find a solicitor she is happy with.

BTW is she a home owner or renter? It's the division of property, if there is any, that causes probs. If she is in a council house (or other rental) and there are no assetts she COULD try to file her own petition.

I would refer you to the HMRC link - download their leaflets.

Vodka mm.. I could come and be a shoulder then :rotfl:

Masquerade_2

Your friend really should seek legal advice. Many solicitors offer free initial advice. She may also be entitled to Legal Aid.

The divorce part is the easy bit as it is purely a paperwork exercise which your friend can do herself. The financial aspects of a marriage breakdown are far more complicated and she must find a solicitor to help her with this particuarly where children are involved. If she does not get help with this she may well forfeit something she is entitled to.

If she is using the ground of unreasonable behaviour she needs to set out in easy to read paragraphs the behaviour that she considers is unreasonable.

What constitutes "unreasonable behaviour"? Obviously, it covers extreme types of behaviour such as habitual drunkenness or violence but it is by no means necessary to allege anything near as serious in a divorce petition.

Separate social lives, squandering monies and previous adultery is unreasonable behaviour but your friend will need to give several examples of how that has manifested itself - how she found out about it etc. More importantly she must tell the court how the behaviour has affected her.

She needs to convince the judge that she cannot be expected to live with her husband any longer.

The other thing to remember is that she will need to give the court some examples of relatively recent behaviour and not just things that have happened a long time ago.

Examples might say........

"The Respondent (husband) does not socialise with the Petitioner (wife). Instead he chooses to spend his spare time with his friends and not with his family. This has made the Petitioner feel very upset and rejected".

"The Respondent has on occasions hidden money from the Petitioner. An example of this behaviour was when ....................................................
etc etc. When the Petitioner found she was devastated by the Respondent's deceit."


I cannot emphasise enough how important it is to involve a solicitor in the financial aspects of the divorce. Most solicitors will now take credit card payments etc which may help your friend to budget for her costs.

Hope this helps.


PS Make sure your friend does not delete the paragraphs at the end of the Petition which talk about property, periodical payments etc.

Masquerade_2

BTW she should make an application to the CHild Support Agency immediately. It doesn't matter that she is not yet divorced. The CSA are taking about 12 weeks to make an assessment at the moment so she really needs to get on with this now.

margaretclare

Oh lord. 'Unreasonable behaviour'? One of the things my DH's ex put in her petition was that they were going to a concert and he wasn't ready in time, kept her waiting due to spending too much time on the Internet.

Another thing was that he was 'secretive' about money. That one didn't stand up - they had a joint account which he funded and she raided.

Another one was that he would ask his friends round for a coffee and she didn't like people coming into the house.

It really was stupid things!