Writing a will & parental responsibility

Nicki

TotallyBroke wrote: »

You have all opened up a lot pros and cons and although clarified a few things for me they have also created more questions.

Surreysaver ~ Without going into all the ins and outs (they are posted on other threads) my OH is a gambler. I am not questioning his ability to be a good Dad. I am questioning his ability to be able to survive without me bailing him out. Having any amount of money, even if property is a big risk for them both to be homeless.
While at the moment (up until last week) he was giving me money towards things like mortgage and bills. It is debateable that any of that money has actually been spent on that purpose. (It got to stage where he would give £1000 and then gamble from the account nearly £1500) This is why I don't think he could claim any interest in the property.
By leaving him the property for him and ds to live in. I would worry that if or when the gambling got out of control, the house would be taken to bail him out. Therefore leaving him and ds homeless. I would also worry that if then anything happened to him that because it would be his estate that others would be able to claim a percentage. (Even though it is my house) DS would end up with virtually nothing.
As I say he is not a bad Dad just one with an illness that can take over some times.

I had not thought about the option of putting it in trust for son. Who would be liable for the grount rent and service charges etc? The trustees out of the trust money, or they could borrow against it for that purpose. Would that be OH if they were both living there, as that would then mean it is another bill for bringing up OH just the same as gas and electric?
If house was sold and the money put in trust for ds. Could whomever draw on that money and use it to clothe and feed ds. yes
As for my sister, I trust her completely and would never doubt that she would not pass on the house to ds ever. But what if she gets in financial difficulty and it is sold to pay her debts? Or if she gets divorced and it is split as a marital asset? Or she lives for another 50 years and its sold for care home fees without her consent? Or she decides that as she has brought your son up as her own its only fair that the house is split equally between your son and all her children at the time she dies? I'm completely satisfied that she could do just as good a job as me at being his mum or even better in some instances. She was there with OH at ds birth and was the one to cut the cord. She would treat him as her own flesh and blood.

I think this is something that I need to talk to OH about. yes! I may ask OH to appoint a trustee from his side of the family. Then all of us can sit and talk about the best solution. I'm going to guess that if we came to some agreement and he wrote a letter agreeing to this. It could be witnessed in front of a solicitor and trustees and kept with the will. I'll guess that a Judge would take into account that letter if it was ever needed.

Thanks again for all your comments and suggestions.

Some thoughts in blue

localhero

Totallybroke, just some further thoughts.

Generally if you allow your partner to remain living in the property it will be rent free, but he would be responsible for all the other outgoings, insurance and maintenance - unless you stipulate that the trustees must pay it from the cash in the trust fund (if any).

You need to choose your trustees carefully. Bear in mind it will be their responsibility to safeguard your estate and pass it on to your son when he becomes entitled to it. The people you choose will have to act in accordance with the best interests of your son, the law and what you state in the Will.

They will also be obliged to pay for the 'education, maintenance and benefit' of your son out the trust fund.

You are not obliged to appoint someone from your partner's family, and because of the potential conflict of interests, it would be advisable that your second trustee is a friend or relative from your own family that you equally trust alongside your sister.

You could discuss what you've done or intend to do with your partner out of courtesy, but ultimately it is your house, that you want your son to ultimately inherit, therefore the decisions you make, should be yours alone.

You don't need any agreement drawn up with your partner, your Will should state quite clearly what is to happen to your property and who you trust to carry out your wishes.

TotallyBroke

Nicki wrote: »

As for my sister, I trust her completely and would never doubt that she would not pass on the house to ds ever. But what if she gets in financial difficulty and it is sold to pay her debts? Or if she gets divorced and it is split as a marital asset? Or she lives for another 50 years and its sold for care home fees without her consent? Or she decides that as she has brought your son up as her own its only fair that the house is split equally between your son and all her children at the time she dies?

Although I do not have a crystal ball I cannot see my sister getting into financial difficulties. Her head is screwed on when it comes to money. She has a fair amount in savings. She is not and at present has no intentions of getting married. But if she did surely she could have some clause herself to cover the fact that this is for my ds and is not her money/property. I would hope that the house will be given to my ds once he is responsible enough to handle the property/money 18 at the earliest.
My ds would not be able to live in her property (it is a 1bedroom flat) which is why I proposed that she either move into mine (the child's home) or sell mine and her's. Buy something for them both to live in and whatever equity is left from the sale of mine is used to pay for the raising of my son.
As I have said I trust her completely and in my heart I know she would never screw over my son.

Thanks localhero it's all something I need to think about. I'll certainly be looking both ways when crossing the road for the next 16years

pboae

TotallyBroke wrote: »

... I would hope that the house will be given to my ds once he is responsible enough to handle the property/money 18 at the earliest.

Then what you want is for it to be left in trust for him, so it's probably easier just to do that from the start. Also, a trust can 'mature' at any age, so you could specify he received the house at 18, 21, 25 or any other age you choose.

Also, now would be a good time to look at life insurance as well, something that will ensure there is enough to pay off any mortgage and provide him with enough to live on until he is old enough to support himself, regardless of who is looking after him.

TotallyBroke

Thanks, yes I agree the trust is the best idea. I just didn't know what I was looking for. Agree I am looking into life insurance but I really am crap and have no idea on what is the best or what I should need. (I have asked that question elsewhere tho lol)

Thanks to you all

Mojisola

TotallyBroke wrote: »

She is not and at present has no intentions of getting married. But if she did surely she could have some clause herself to cover the fact that this is for my ds and is not her money/property.

That's not how the law would see it unless it is part of a trust. If you leave the house to her, it's her house.