Parents of AS/ASD children... a question please....

blue_monkey_2

Hi,

I was wondering if I could ask a question please.


MY son is ASD and he does some things that other kids find a bit strange - usch as flapping and biting himself for example.

We was with some other children from the school the other day and they asked me why he did that. The kids were between the ages of 5 and 7 and I did not know what to say as to why he did it.

Can you please give me some advice on what I should say to other children if they ask why he does these odd things. I just said 'he just does' and left it there.

Nicki

My DD is autistic and I've always explained it to her brother (who is now 8 but has asked the questions over the last few years) that her brain works differently, and that sometimes she does things which are unusual as a result. With grown ups who complain when she sometimes thrashes around in a public space, I tend to say that it is an involuntary movement (as she doesn't have sufficient understanding to understand a request to stop, although the movements are probably technically under her control).

Not sure if either of those approaches can help though. Other kids (non family) is a tricky one, which I haven't had to address yet.

hieveryone

It didn't come across in the thread whether the real reason is known for the 'flapping' and biting...Children with ASD often cannot feel themselves in 'space' and will hit heads and bite in order to feel pain and 'know' they are there...if that makes sense!

blue_monkey_2

Thank you, I have said to another child before that his brain works a little different but did not know if it was the right thing to say.

He just bites and flaps when he gets excited, happy or sad, I guess when he gets a rush of excitment he does not know how to deal with it. He makes these squealing noises too (he is rising 5) such as when he is playing or when he gets excited.

Kids are starting to ask but when they are so young it is hard to explain. I've tried to explain to DD who has just turned 6 but she does not seem to understand why he does things different so this is why I asked.

It is so hard to explain to people becauae he looks 'normal' on the outside. We have talked about going to Florida but the flight would be a nightmare, I was thinking of getting a badge or t-shirt from NAS so I do not have to keep explaining to people if he is having a paddy. That is if I can get him to wear it of course!!

blue_monkey_2

hieveryone wrote: »

It didn't come across in the thread whether the real reason is known for the 'flapping' and biting...Children with ASD often cannot feel themselves in 'space' and will hit heads and bite in order to feel pain and 'know' they are there...if that makes sense!

No, I guess that makes sense. Nothing really gets explained. I am still waiting for the appointment for the communications clinic which is the one I really want as they will give me more answers. There is a year waiting list for that though, it has been a year in January. How the time flies!!

getcarter

Hi

I've got a flapping son and he still sucks the neck of his t shirts, he's 9

carter

blue_monkey_2

Do other children ask why he does it carter?

I took them to school this morning and it is PJ day for children in need and he grabbed onto an older boy who also had 'Cars' PJ's and just starting grabbing his clothes, swinging round on them and squealing at him while biting himself. The boy just kind of looked at him and let him do it but what worries me is that someone else might push him back and this is when he can get hurt, he just does not understand you do not do this with people you do not know. I know I am not going to be there all the time to tell him to stop doing it and the school are aware of his problems as are some of the parents but I am not sure if other children are, and how do you explain to them if they ask. I am sure they cannot understand what ASD is.

There was a couple on BBC Breakfast a few weeks ago and they are trying to get Autism - and how broad the spectrum is - recognised by everyone so that people can understand. My son never gets invites to peoples houses and stuff like that and he is always asking if someone can come and play but because he is so agressive and rough with other children I am scared that he might do something while they are in my care. My DD had a friend come around to play and my son spent the entire time jumping on her and she has not been back or asked to come and play again.

Sometimes I feel the constant supervision is exhausting.

I've been up since 5am a lot lately so am having the end of a bad week and am shattered. Can you tell? LOL! Now I had better get on and get my VAT return done I suppose!!

getcarter

Hi sorry it's taken so long to get back to you monkey!

My son also tends to 'play rough' by grabbing people, I spoke to the teacher about it and she told me the other children just tend to accept him and his behaviour, the only problem he's had is with another child with 'lacking social skills' I don't know if this other child has ASD but they do tend to spark off each other!

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat!

Carter